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Author
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Topic: How do you get Emotionally Attached?
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sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2809
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted December 22, 2004 07:10 PM
 
Is it in a kiss? a hug? a favour someone does for you? A story? I have figured out that for me, nothing works like a kiss, even on the cheek.Nothing else works, if the kiss is missing, I am never attached, but if I'm kissed, I 'm totally committed without even realizing it. Anyone else? Natasha
Taurus IP: Logged |
sweetlibra
Knowflake Posts: 165
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted December 23, 2004 03:07 AM
Its conversations (mostly one sided  ) for me.I should be awed by the intelligence and/or by the depth of the other person..
Quite awkward, but i have a liking for guys who love their parents esp mother 
For me Kisses and hugs strengthens the emotional attachment IP: Logged |
moonbaby
Knowflake Posts: 301
From: uk
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted December 23, 2004 08:11 PM
for me it is utter unavailabilty!
its the masochist in me  ...i just love it when people are just outta reach. like if i call someone and they are not there...i will keep on a-calling until i get thru...or ill call the flatmate....with friends as with guys.if people are straight into me, you can be assured that i aint...most of the times anywayz its my darned cancer in 8th.... also mars is in libra in the 11th house...go figure!
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future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 363
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 23, 2004 09:30 PM
I love it when you realize that the person you're dating and getting to know better is actually someone you can just hang out with and do nothing-- like you would have been buddies if you hadn't been "attracted" to one another when you met. Does that make any sense? I'm not explaining myself well!IP: Logged |
Aquarian Girl
Knowflake Posts: 518
From:
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 23, 2004 09:39 PM
No, future_uncertain I know exactly what you mean!For me it's a sense of affinity... looking into that persons eyes and sensing the understanding, compassion, the affection they have for you... and feeling the same. And great sex. Ha. IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2809
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted December 23, 2004 11:49 PM
sweetlibra, I like that about conversations. Maybe that's what happens to me too.Moonbaby! Welcome to the club, I'm Cancer/8th too! And yes I like a challenge. Lots of people do though so we are not alone. The trick is to challenge others! Go get hot and parade it around and let someone go looking for you. It's about safety and wanting to be yourself, plus you want to keep moving, and those who are not available seem to be on the go too. Actually they are doing nothing, and then we get angry when we find that out right? Just keep moving on,
as for the guy being straight into you, maybe he's too pushy for your Cancer/8th? I don't like the pushy types, I need to feel safe and accepted. Friendship, affinity, is the best. Natasha
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future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 363
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 24, 2004 10:17 AM
Natasha and moonbaby...I also have cancer/8th. I've found that I rarely like people who come on to me, usually I am the initiator in any relationship and I usually start by hanging out and becoming friends first. Over time, my *prey* (ha ha!) starts to feel more than friendly and they make the move to make the friendship something more. They think it's their idea, and oddly, I need this... I need them to come up with it on their own for me to feel secure throughout the rest of the relationship. I look at it as I open the doors (without saying so) and wait for them to walk through them. Is this similar to what you two experience? IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 260
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 24, 2004 11:14 AM
I think I bcome attatched when I can talk to you when you make me feel really comfortable.If you are soft with me cannot be ruff around the edges at all, I will swim away so fast. I like affection I like a guy that will hold my hand in public kiss me like no one else is around. Make me feel like I am a trophy, show me that you are into me. I get attatched to a guy that will express how he feels about me in front of his boys. I get attatched to a gentle soul. But you have to be very masculine with it all too. IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2809
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted December 24, 2004 11:31 AM
future, yes I am like that usually too, prey! I have been called a predator once for doing that. I noticed that the men I am attracted to, like a woman who makes her interest known, so I do try. the ones that like to take care of everything eventually feel I am too pushy.The problem with hanging out with someone that way is that he can become interested in someone else. I feel now, that I must initiate contact, or at least make my wish known or else risk confusion throughout the relationship. Even if it's only a very strong hint. I need to be able to move on, after all who wants to hang around the prey forever? Once a guy, a Capricorn was so into me, it scared me away, but now I like him. It's more of a challenge true, but I didn't design things that way to be complicated. I was afraid he wasn't sincere, so communication is best for me, that's where I am at these days. I do agree Mama, that kissing in public is a huge plus for me too. Natasha
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may12tauruslady
Knowflake Posts: 32
From: los angeles, ca
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 24, 2004 01:08 PM
Almost all of the above get me emotionally attached: conversations, kisses AND availability. I think it's my Aires Venus. Natasha - wuold you give some insight on the 8th house? Mine is Taurus. Maybe another thread? I will look and see if there another one...
this site is so cool! I love it Linda Goodman was the bomb!IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 363
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 24, 2004 02:51 PM
Welcome, May12tauruslady!Natasha, I guess I do send out a pretty strong vibe. But it's easy for me to cover that because I'm a pretty flirtatious person. You're right though, it would be terrible to spend all that time trying to get to know someone and they don't know you're interested so they find someone else. I can see how this "tactic" could backfire! (Not that I do it on purpose, just how I operate I guess!) I consider myself warned should I ever find myself alone and looking again! BTW, anything happening with you and Cappy now? IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2809
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted December 24, 2004 03:51 PM
future, no not right now, as I stood him up once because I was confused and guilty after leaving my ex. I met him one month after the ex. I don't think he has forgiven me yet. He has Venus in Aqua which I like very much, he has a lot of respect for himself, his work, and what he wants out of life, and he is willing to take chances, very giving and open and trusting.But he has to trust me again, so I am trying to figure out the best way to approach, since he is shy now. What about a letter?
I can't hope for a New Years with him this year, I will be out with a Virgo, but I still miss the Cap. May12lady, I have a very good friend with Taurus/8th, and he is very picky in who he loves. He prefers women he works with, or ones who need him, he is very romantic and believes in traditional roles. I imagine your romance lies in your strength, and incredibly romantic outlook, you are spiritual not physical, and you may attract those who are looking for a non physical union with you.
Your work may involve helping those who are troubled in someway, because you are so calm in a crisis. People see you as a solution. Natasha
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sweetlibra
Knowflake Posts: 165
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted December 25, 2004 04:12 AM
Natasha, can u give more insight on Taurus/8th ?
i know a person who believes in traditional roles. Amazing..he also wants partner from his work place..!IP: Logged |
supernovajen
Knowflake Posts: 51
From:
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted December 25, 2004 07:47 AM
I get emotionally attachted when they keep showing up when I need them most....and also it helps if they can make me smile ------------------
Jen
MT student
www.mtacc.net IP: Logged |
moonbaby
Knowflake Posts: 301
From: uk
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted December 25, 2004 09:53 AM
man, i am stuffed full of turkey....natasha...totally. i love my independence...i love it when a person has their own thing going on...be that a guy, friends...and then we come together and share. i love doing things together, but i love doing things just as much on my own. its pressure...i absolutely cant take pressure...i freak out. future...girl, totally. i was thinking maybe its becos i havent had someone come up to me thats blown me away, but nay...its just that whole chase thang....but its cool, 'cos like 'tasha says, most people relish challenges umm, relish  if i find a guy hot, i always want to be friends with him first. cos theres a lack of pressure when it comes to intimacy; hanging out or otherwise. i love that dynamic of a boy/girl friendship.
ranti 
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VirgoMaiden
Knowflake Posts: 42
From: Seattle, Wa, USA
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted December 27, 2004 05:08 PM
My 8th house is in Leo, I think I said that right... Anyway, what usually attracts me originally is sex... I'm trying to get away from that because I get trapped into these horribly wrong relationships because I fooled myself with sex... But recently I found myself drawn to someone who alludes to sex in a sneaky subtle way and I'm finding myself sucked in like a moth to an ominous bugzapper...IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Knowflake Posts: 744
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted December 27, 2004 05:14 PM
I don't really. Huge downside to being me, but I just don't. I detatch so much to avoid getting hurt... when I am attatched to someone, it is in a friend way, not romantic. That is really messed up, huh?OH, Aqua sun,(10th) merc (11th) and mars (11th) with cappy venus (10th) and leo moon (5th).... if that explains anything. Also Aries rising.  Ghani IP: Logged |
ariestiger
Knowflake Posts: 384
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted December 28, 2004 04:19 PM
I can't explain emotional attachment. It just happens, strikes out of the blue. Maybe I'm confusing it with passion - or obsession. But it doesn't happen very often with me; it's only happened about twice in my life. LOL AriesTiger IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Knowflake Posts: 3834
From:
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted December 28, 2004 04:38 PM
I become emotionally attached when there is genuine caring for each other's well being. Like having enough food to eat, money to pay the bills, seeing the doctor, happy or unhappy, projects, giving money, covering restaurant tabs, school work, etc. It feels like living with my heart outside of myself, and the risk of getting hurt is always there - which I absolutely dislike. But that's the way it goes when I care deeply.P.S. One last thing I forgot to mention is being sensitive to moods and just knowing what the other is thinking. Also *knowing* when they are lying to cover up something because they are hurt or whatever. This is also another part of my being emotionally attached. IP: Logged |
Astrid
Knowflake Posts: 53
From:
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted January 03, 2005 08:34 PM
I become interested when someone is attentive and engaging. After talking for a while and finding out their history, I feel a sense of attachment if we've walked similar paths, and have experienced similar joys and crapola stuff, too (how nice when someone else really understands). I get MORE attached when I see the other person in real life (paying bills, working, etc, as Aphrodite said). Much bonding happens in bed. (kisses definately ROCK!) Had sweet New Year's weekend with my man making love all day (we're both Scorp Suns w/Taurus Moons), busting out of the house only briefly to grab chinese carry out. . . having a picnic on the living room floor watching Twilight Zone til 3 am, only to retire back to the buduoir (sp) to bring the night to a close in the wee hours.
I think, after 4 months of dating, we woke up Sunday morning having fallen in love. ahhhhh IP: Logged |
OdessaStar
Knowflake Posts: 57
From:
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 04, 2005 02:52 AM
To add to this interesting conversation, I know it's over for me when: the person sees me at my most vulnerable and doesn't say a word -- just a warm, reassuring hug, and then they're out the door to let me hide away in the safety of my own thoughts. It's like saying, I'm here for you (and you know that), but right now I'm going to do the best thing for you.Maybe it's an Air thing, who knows ... IP: Logged |
Atlantic Myst
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: New York City
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted January 15, 2005 05:57 PM
For me. It's in this order. Emotionally, mentally, then physically.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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