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Author
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Topic: letting go
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 02:58 PM
 
I am just learning to let go of a friend who I met 4 years ago. The relationship was always "strange", big age gap, different cultures, but then again huge similarities. From an astro. point of view, our birthdates are (me): 29.10.58 and he 23.10.79. It ended up with me always being the initiator, always making contact and then a feeling of strain between us. I know we have a connection, as I have studied this in depth and feel we may have spent many lives together. It is only now I have decided to try and cut the ties, taken his phone numbers of my phone, so I am not tempted to contact him - as you can probably tell there is a huge pull for me. The most hurtful thing from this is that I realise he has at times been playing games with me - he always said he liked forbidden fruit and I could feel him sort of taunting me, even sometimes at night I would awake with him on my mind. Does anyone have any comments or feedback from an astro point of view, or even similar stories. I feel somewhat shocked that I have let this person have such a hold over me, and I don't want this ever to happen again as it has left me drained and vulnerable........maybe just a very good lesson for all of us hey??? xxxIP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 03:00 PM
p.s. letting go. Even after losing touch for almost two years, he contacted me and I allowed myself to be pulled in again.IP: Logged |
running_bull
Knowflake Posts: 69
From: the desert, usa
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 06:19 PM
Being a Taurus, I never like to give up on relationships. But, I only allow it to go so far... the person can't be rude or disrespectful or expect me to give more than I get back. In those situation's I will end the relationship without any regret's.Perhaps you are lonely Sue and this person fills a void in your life. If he's there even as a problem, it's better than not having someone there at all? Maybe it would be best to find someone who feels attracted and pulled in by your spirit and connection than vice/versa. If you can't list anything else good between you except for the connection. It may be time to find someone who you start out on a good foundation with and build the connection. Just a thought, I wish you well. especially in the New Year. Good luck. IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2718
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted December 26, 2004 07:30 PM
Sue, controlling people will feel attracted to you when you are vulnerable and confused. The problem is you can't love him until you know if he is causing you to be vulnerable to feel more in control. So do not give him power over you and see how strong that makes you, and how happy and strong he is. If it bothers him, his life will be unhappy, but that's a reason to stay away. If he is happy without you, be happy because now he is not playing games with you anymore. Forbidden fruit, does he mean he wanted to be out of reach for you? Pull away to tease? That would make you even more vulnerable. It's okay to be curious, you were hopeful and he was mean. You are worth more. This man is negative, and you are positive, let him learn some lessons, have adventures, grow up. Secrets do not exist between friends. If a man is creating a secret with you, he expects his feelings to be private always, and expects to know yours. Keep your feelings secret and you will destroy your trust in yourself, but he won't allow you to be free with your feelings. I know its' fun to be secret but when do you get to let go? Tell the world how you feel. Tell everyone that there is no trust between you two. Nothing private, and without that, there is no friendship. Natasha
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future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 312
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 26, 2004 09:40 PM
Natasha, I really loved your words when you said, "It's okay to be curious, you were hopeful and he was mean. You are worth more." I bet most of us have been in that position before and came out feeling like fools. I know I have many times. These are soothing words that I plan to keep with me from now on. When we find ourselves in these positions we spend so much time wondering where we went wrong and being afraid to be curious or hopeful again. This phrase really captures the balance between taking care of yourself and knowing when someone has taken advantage of your trust. I love it. Sue, I hope you'll be feeling better soon. 
IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 27, 2004 07:37 AM
Dear running bull and sthreni, I have just read your comments - so wise, so sincere and so HELPFUL. It is so valuable to read words like this, and I so needed to be validated, thanks to both of you, god bless and have a fantastic 2005 xxxxxxxIP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 27, 2004 07:39 AM
dear future uncertain (love the name), many thanks too for your kind wishes, many good wishes for 2005, love and peace sue xxxIP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 312
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 27, 2004 08:22 AM
Hello, Sue.Are you feeling any better yet? Let us know how things are going. I see you're from Ireland. I have "family" in Dublin. My dad used to be married to an Irish woman and they had a daughter and lived here in the states for a while. When they divorced the girls moved back. I haven't seen them in ages, but I remember the summer I spent in Ireland when I was seven and I loved it. I hope to go back one day. (I know this is totally irrelevant to your question, but I saw you were from Ireland and it made me think of them!) I have a soft spot for Ireland!
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 77
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 28, 2004 06:35 AM
hello future uncertain, thanks so much for your message - i am beginning to feel better, especially after all your comments, it does help. I live in west cork a really beautiful place, I am an english woman by birth, but an irish woman by heart. I lived in dublin for a year, but for me I am now really home. I play fiddle (badly) and sing irish songs every week in the session in the pub and I really really LOVE IRELAND. Of course the guy I have the connection is irish, really rural ireland, a pureness about these people, but on the down side a lot of repressions which leads to wounds, I remember having a tarot reading here and the woman picked up on "him" and after going through all the stuff i know she said "he is lovely, he really shines" - oh dear my poor heart will it ever recover. Thanks again people and god bless xxxxxxxIP: Logged | |
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