posted January 03, 2005 02:25 PM         

That said, how can I handle/approach this in such a way to help him now the way he has helped me in the past?

We both have been wanting things to be easier and lighter between us than they have in the recent past.

I hope I can be clear enough here to give a good idea of our conversation to solicit your help...

Here is what is going on: I have a pretty dysfunctional family, and am the youngest of three children in my family, even though we are all grown adults with families. That said, Avi (my Aquarius guy) and I were together last Tuesday (post-Christmas) to spend the evening, discussing the holiday and his upcoming New Years' party...we got into a conversation and after being with my family (there is A LOT going on with them) I was not wanting to get into a too heavy or involved discussions. My conversation with him started to set off with me a HUGE discomfort and I could feel the acid start to churn in my stomach, but was inappropriate with what I said to Avi and the time. Instead of communicating clearly that I was dealing with too much with my family and didn't want to experience the negativity with him either, felt that I hurt his feelings and implied that this wasn't working for me anymore. I WAS really off track with what I said to him and couldn't have been further from the truth from what I really feel about him and our relationship/friendship. It really is my family I am having a hard time dealing with.

Even though we talked at length that night about my family and why I was feeling the way I did, that it wasn't him and I didn't communicate well enough and spent the night that night...-but-...still things don't feel right, at least from his point of view anyways, and in particular about his comment in an email that I've posted below.

Soooo, in short, we've seen each other a few times since then (I was at his New Years' party and spent the night and we had yoga class yesterday together) but he made a comment in his email to me last night that said: "Best of luck with the model and the house. I know you would like this settled so you can focus on other things. If you need help with anything let me know, as opposed to bringing you down like I did last time" love, Avi

I'm in the process right now of looking at homes to buy.

I know it sounds like he's having a pity party, but want to approach this last comment in a good way so he knows I am there for him just as he is for me. There is much love between us, I know this in my heart. But, at times like this when he pulls away so far - I wonder: Where did he go?

What do I say to this? An Aquarius woman-friend says the best way to approach an Aquarius is with honesty. How would you Knowflakes approach this?

This friendship means a lot to the both of us, but his comment in his email last night has me stumped. Help!

posted January 03, 2005 02:34 PM         

You can prepare to be positive and have positive things to say in advance when you listen, but be aware he's got some things to get off his chest, and he wants to know you are there for him.

Yes honesty is very good, but I would also take the initiative to make him talk to you in a more positive manner, meet for a cup of soup somewhere cheery, change the environment, but make sure it's private.

I don't know what kind of friendship you want with him, but it seems like he has to work on his self esteem a bit,

posted January 03, 2005 05:19 PM         

Dishonesty for an air person is not quite like it is for other signs. We tend to be a little legalistic about what passes as "dishonesty" and that often means anythign short of the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. We want all the cards on the table so we can rationally assess the entire situation and tackle it in our typically cerebral way.

If someone is holding things back, we can easily interpret that as dishonesty, or worse, manipulation through withholding information that might influence our choices in another way. If this happens, regardless to what the person's intentions were, we feel betrayed. If it's someone we expect to be honest with us, the sense of betrayal can run very deep. that's why most air people would rather you be honest with them than spare their feelings - our feelings are one thing, our trust is a whole other sphere.

Geminis often forgive rather (too) easily, whereas Libras will try to see the other person's point of view - but we will still be hurt underneath. Aquas take it the hardest - being the fixed air sign, it's hard for them to forgive and move on or see things differently when they are convinced of what "actually" happened.

posted January 03, 2005 06:02 PM         

He does have Pisces in his chart, and a lot of air - Mercury & Venus in Pisces and Ascendant, Moon and Mars in Gemini