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Author
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Topic: Heart Breaking in Silence...
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Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 288
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 26, 2005 01:27 PM
 
Hello everyone I am so sad and my heart is just breaking in silence I have not really let anyone know how I am really feeling except one of my girlfriends. Heart break feels like almost the worst thing in the world to me. I ended my 7mnth relationship with my Aqua. The night that it happended I felt like I could care less now over about 6 days it has really start to get at me. I have attempted to end things b4 and he would always stop me or try and reason with me, but this time he came back with a I am going to have to back off too. I as not trying to end things to get his goat that is how I really was feeling. He is just so fixed I have mad adjustments to balance things can't see where he has done any of that. I just felt like it is hard for me to stay in a relationship or friendship where I feel my being is not important. He had such a nasty tone with me the night we ended things for what I do not know, I think that I have
been the best friend one could possibly have. I just want the heartache and him being on my nind to just go away. I try to text him and just let him know that we are and will always be cool and that I hope things are okay with him. He never text me back or anything. Even after it is said and done I am still being his friend and he is still acting like he is not my friend. We work out at the same gym on Wednesday nights, well today is Wednseday and we will see each other if neither one of us skips out. I just feel so empty right now... IP: Logged |
GingerB
Knowflake Posts: 96
From: Lucedale, MS USA
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted January 26, 2005 04:07 PM
*hugs*IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 124
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted January 26, 2005 05:11 PM
*** Hugs for you ***I know how hard this has been for you to hang in there, Aqua men can be difficult to understand. Soothing energy sent your way.
I completely understand. IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 288
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 26, 2005 05:17 PM
Thanks ladies for the hugs and soothing energy...IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Moderator Posts: 6189
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted January 26, 2005 06:05 PM
Aren't you glad, in some small part of your soul, through the ache..... that you have the capacity to ache and feel?
It is so raw, and although it feels alone, it's also so completely whole, in that everyone who has loved can reach out to you and know silently along with you?IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Knowflake Posts: 3859
From:
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted January 26, 2005 08:36 PM
*big hugs*IP: Logged |
KarenSD
Knowflake Posts: 517
From: San Diego CA USA
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted January 26, 2005 11:18 PM
*hugs fellow Pisces pal**HUGE HUGS* to you! IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2852
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted January 27, 2005 12:17 AM
I am sorry you are feeling empty, again the forum I posted a link to before can help. I don't what you wanted from the relationship, but now is a good time to redefine your needs, whether or not you want to live with a man, travel...it was a significant relationship, and you did everything right! Have faith in yourself, soon you will get the love you need without having to give so much, Take Care,
Natasha
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Sun_Scorpion
Knowflake Posts: 1108
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted January 27, 2005 08:55 AM
{{{HUGS}}}  MamaMia IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 288
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 27, 2005 10:56 AM
Thanks everyone for your warm support and kind words and hugs. Im feeling a lil better better today. I know that I did everything right. wht bothers me the most is that I am such a simple gal does not take much to please me. I did not really want much right now I just wanted to feel valued in the freindship/relationship and express to me how you were feeling I mean really feeling and that seem to began to be hard for him. He was doing it at first. I just think that he has alot going on and he did not want to share it with me for whatever reasons and he bailed out. We did have such a significant relatioship the one thing i liked very most is that the mental telepathy we had going on. I have never been in a relationship where we did not have to talk sometimes just lay next to each other and read each others feelings and knew. He would be away from me and I knew when he was thinking about me, could feel in in my soul and I was right. Well I am Pisces and you know what we can do. It just worked both ways this time. I did see him at the gym last night and I can feel him just as he felt me. We looked at each other and gave each other a hug and a kiss on the cheek and he turned and looked at me and said it was really nice seeing you and looked me up and down with that look he can give me when he is feeling something. He kept his eyes on me the entire time as I worked out and walked around the gym. I had my 5 yr old son with me and he just picked him up and hugged him they went off into the mens locker room to man talk as they do.. LOL.. So when it was time to go my lil one says to him Jerry there is my mom are you going to say bye my mom wants to say bye (playing devils advocate he is a lil Pisces and very pyschic too) and he says I said bye and he looked at me and said see you guys later and I said yeah bye. I know he misses me I can feel it,but I still have to keep things in perspective and go on whats happening now. My world is a lil strange with out him too. This is my thing and I keep reminding myself of this, what is meant to be will be nothing will come between. I have work to do and so does he and if this is meant to be when we finish that work we will meet in the middle again... IP: Logged |
Atlantic Myst
Knowflake Posts: 231
From: New York City
Registered: Jan 2005
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posted January 27, 2005 11:41 AM
AQUARIANS OPEN UP YOUR DAMN HEARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!------------------
~*~ Cusp: Gemini/Cancer, Cancer rising, Taurus moon ~*~
Let's go...
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sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2852
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted January 27, 2005 12:01 PM
Have you thought about how undemanding you were in the relationship and how he may want to have those demands? What would you ask for if you had to ask for something, just to demanding?Live with him, anything? I get told I am undemanding all the time, too simple. It's true, I am undefined, and men who are immature need more of taskmaster, Your Aqua sounds like he needs less of a soulmate and more of a mother, could you do that for him? Nat IP: Logged |
miss_apples
Knowflake Posts: 421
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted January 27, 2005 12:07 PM
Mama Mia,I feel ya girl. I think we were talking about the aqua/leo relationship in another thread. Are you upset because when you broke it off he didnt even try to fight for you? Thats what happened to me, I was so upset that he didnt say "wait...dont go". Im so sorry hun. Time will heal your pain, as long as it may take. IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 288
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 27, 2005 01:24 PM
Atlantic Myst: LOL!!!! I could have not said it better... They do need to do just that.Natasha: I guess that I may have been to undemanding but here it the thing I have a Aqua Moon and My Ascendant is in Aqua as well as my mercury and venus, I absolutely hate for people to put demands on me. And I definetly like to give people the space and freedom to make their own choices cause that is what I like. I did not want to rush I really wanted to take it slow wanted him to really get a feel of me. I will tell you this though all the girls that he told me that he did like very much treated him real dirty. So I figured maybe I was not dirty enough for him. Also when you are in a relationship with Aqua's either you are the dominate one or they are the dominate one hardly any room for balance. I kept trying to balance it, but seemed like he did not want that. It had to be either one way no in between had I been more dominate then maybe he would have saw that as demands and went for it. My very best girlfriend she is like 5,6 years older then me b-day a day b4 mine and she knows me pretty well told me that she thinks that I did not show him the real me. I will tell you this Im real and he will be back it maybe to late but our paths will cross again, I will land on my feet however this turns out... Ms. Apples I think you may have hit a sore spot. He had been fighting for me previously when I thought I wanted to end thing. He would not even hear of it. I was a bit shocked when he agreed this time. But I let him go gracefully and did not go back, but I have not been hesitant to tell him that I miss him in my world even if things are the way they are, I still do... IP: Logged |
maya-v
Knowflake Posts: 321
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted January 27, 2005 01:50 PM
Mama mia - LOADS OF HUGS! Needless to say, you've come to the right place! I was in the place you are right now - I've been there and it seems like there is no tomorrow and you hurt so bad - but with the help of friends and people who love you, you will get out of this stronger. I know I did. And as Linda said - believe in Miracles. I am not saying that he will come back to you or that things will go back to normal between you guys - just that somehow, somewhere the magic of life and love will find you and heal your heart with an angel's touch ... When I was at my lowest, when my archer left, I turned to Gooberz and it opened to the page where Goober is leaving Linda - and she says - if you were to stay or come back, it would be my miracle - and you know what, its true - miracles do happen! IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 2938
From: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Registered: May 2002
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posted January 27, 2005 02:53 PM
HI Mama Mia, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I think that letting him know that you felt "nelgected" is importing. He needs to understand why you did what you did. Wow..this must be a time for things like that..I had almost the same thing with Mr. Taurus- asking him if he wanted to break up, because I was feeling neglected with him being in MO. He was also harsh....but it worked out. Would you be willing to call your Aqua and see if the two of you can talk? Would writing him an e-mail be a better option (some people respond better to the written word than when you verbalize). I think with all that the two of you have been through- that there has to be a way to work it out. ((((HUGS)))))) IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 288
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted January 27, 2005 03:57 PM
May-v Thankyou sweetie I know you know, Yes I do believe in miracles, IF this is meant to be it will be. I had a 5 yr relationship with my lil ones dad and I loved him alot. He did alot to hurt me mainly bc of immaturity, I never thought I would get over him thought I would love and hurt forever. BUT things changed and right now he is loving me so much it is killing him, I have nothing for him but a friendship and our son. So yes I know that in due time this too shall pass. Its gone work out I know...Pidua- I have sent him 2 text messages letting him know that I miss him subtley though. I never asked for a reply just said that I do miss him and I hope that things are okay with him. He did not respond so whats a girl to do. I can't and won't keep at it. When I saw him in the gym last night we felt each others feelings I felt that he misses me and I know that he felt that from me. He has some issues going on that he is not sharing with me and I want him to work them out first. So I will chill out on this keep my head up and keep moving. I really thought he was the one and felt he at one time he thought that too. Who knows all I know is I can't get stuck here if it is not going to benefit me. He needs to grow some more. I hope he comes back but if not life goes on...
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Lindaland
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