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Author Topic:   The very long story of my twinsoul
silvana
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: toronto
Registered: May 2003

posted February 02, 2005 04:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for silvana     Edit/Delete Message
I have been thinking a lot about someone from my past. I've told this story to all of my closest friends hoping to find an answer, and just realize there is no better place to share it than on this board.

His name was Michel, and I met him when I was 18 years old. I was standing outside of this club after having a horrible night. I was depressed as all the girls I came with were happily being groped on the dance floor. I had only had one beer over the course of an entire night, and was just miserable. When i first walked into the bar, I felt this strange man watching me, and when I connected eyes with him, he seemed kind of like a serial killer or something, so i quickly made my way in the opposite direction. At the end of the night, I was outside waiting for one of my friends so we could go home, and the creepy staring guy came up with all of his friends. They started trying to chat me up, and hit on me. I was really annoyed, and in the midst of all the confusion, saw a beautiful, haunted looking boy standing against a wall a bit further back watching. I turned to the boys and said (this is unlike me by the way): "Look, i don't want to talk to any of you. If I'm going to talk to anyone, it's going to be that boy over there" and pointed at him, and walked away.
A minute later, the creepy boy tapped me on my shoulder. I turned around expecting to have to tell him off, and the beautiful boy was standing right behind him smiling shyly. The creepy boy said " Hey, you wanted to talk to him, here he is" Turns out the creepy guy was michel's brother, and all the guys i had been rude to were his brothers friends!!
We just grinned at eachother, and somehow managed to choke out some conversation about picasso and vegetarianism. he said he'd like to go for coffee, and i said sure, he didn't have a number, so i said i'd give him mine. all i could find to write on his hand was a highlighter or something, so i did. After I finished I had this flash of his hand with only half of the number on it, and told him "it's going to come off!" and he said "no no, there's no way i'm washing my hand, can i call you tomorrow?" i was like "sure, but it's going to come off!" Then my friend hailed a cab, and I said bye reluctantly and got in, my heart flapping in my chest. 2 seconds later he appeared at the window of the cab, I opened the door, surprised and he jumped in/ i pulled him in.

We went back to my residence *first year university* and because my roomate was asleep just sat in the common room together. We were both buzzing insanely, as this had been the wierdest encounter. We had this crazy rapport, didnt' touch eachother, and just chainsmoked and talked while staring at eachother with wide, wide eyes, hearts racing.
So, i started to receive this wierd psychic information about him *which is also pretty rare for me to get so clearly* and began to tell him. I said "whoa, i get the feeling that there's something odd with your mom" and he looked at me shocked and said "my mom left us when i was a kid, i don't talk to her!" and then i said " i feel like you want to go to india to die" and he said "whoa, that's 2 for 3.. i do" (i later found out he was interested in the writings of a guru and wanted to be set to drift on the ganges) And so on...I felt that I could imagine giving birth to him ( i'm not at all a maternal person), and had this immense joy as though I was reunited with my long lost son or something. When we finally tried to sleep in this very platonic way, the slightest contact of our bodies was incredible. I can't even begin to describe- it felt like something was singeing my skin. We held eachother and our bodies just melted, it was so surreal.
We stayed awake all night, just holding eachother, talking and staring into eachother's eyes. We went for coffee the next morning, and he was just staring at me as though I would vanish. He finally said: "I don't understand. You're so beautiful, you look like you've just stepped out of a box. I look like hell, what are you doing with me?" and i just laughed... he was beautiful. Huge pond green eyes, dark spiky black lashes, cheekbones to die for, generous mouth, dark shiny brown hair...gorgeous. I told him I though he looked wonderful.

Now, here's where the story gets a bit tricky. That summer I had hooked up with a boy while in england, steven. He was a fair bit older than me, maybe 27, and helped me go through a difficult time. This is insanely personal, but I had just been raped, and this boy basically took me in and took care of me ( he was a friend of a friend of my boyfriend at the time who raped me). SO, needless to say, there was a strong connection between me and Steven. He literally let me cry, and protected me. We had left things open ended as I came back to canada to go to school, and he had a job as a teacher in england.

I told Michel about Steven that morning over coffee, just said there was somebody in england that i was kind of still attached to, but not exactly with. He said he had just got out of five year relationship with someone a few months before, and completely understood. He said he wouldn't want her to know about me at this point. So that was that. I felt relieved I had been so honest. We proceeded to have an electric month. The lovemaking was OUT of this world. i was recovering from being raped, and confided in him about this. He showed some insensitivity about the matter if I ever brought my exboyfriend up, saying things like he didn't want him in our relationship. That was hard for me to hear, as the incident had only happened 3 months prior, and i was still traumatized. Our sex life, however, continued to be extraordinary. He had only been in Ottawa to visit his brother for a couple days on his way to Vancouver, but because of me, stayed and started to look for work. We found we had almost identical tastes in art, and wrote somewhat identical poetry. We were both equally moved by starry skies, and shared the same love for music and food, movies, almost everything. He introduced me to astrology.. He said he felt karma had brought us together. He is a scorpio, and said his past 3 relationships had been with taurus women. I am a taurus. He was intenselly spiritual, and we both spoke truest through poetry. Such a strange connection.

Now, sorry this is so long, but the plot thickens. Steven calls me up to say he had bought a plane ticket to canada to come see me, and had talked all night with his best friend, and she had convinced him he should go for me if he felt this way. I was horrified, as I was completely embroiled in my relationship with Michel. .His flight was non-refundable, so he was coming. I told michel, and asked him what he felt i should do. I explained I would not sleep with him, and that my instincts told me not to tell steven about him as that would just humiliate him for coming all this way. I was just going to tell him that i didn't think our relationship could fly at such distance etc, and make sure he understood. Michel agreed.

SO, steven comes, i'm miserable. I try and sneak away from steven for an afternoon to see michel at his brother's place, and he isn't there. He purposely went out to hurt me. I'd never cared deeply for a scorpio at this point, and didn't know this kind of trickery/revenge was possible. I was horrified, wrote a furious letter and left.
He later broke up with me on the phone, cruelly saying " i didnt' make him happy" when all the while i had been with him, he was telling me how happy i made him.
I was devastated.

I sent Steven back to england heartbroken. I was so heartbroken I couldn't function. After one month of not talking to michel ro seeing him, i foolishly/bravely went to his house under the guise of picking up some of my belongings. I was so scared, i thought i would pass out. When I got there, only his brother was home. His brother was very cold to me. I sat down to leave Michel a note, and he walked in at that moment. He literally took several steps backward. I stared at him. We went to his room to have privacy. He looked like hell, his once gorgeous room was disgusting, dead plants everywhere, cigarette butts, the works. He even had a black eye he wouldn't explain. He said he walked into a pole.

We ended up in eachothers arms again. He told me he had dreamed of me the night before, and dreamt that I was jesus. He almost cried, telling me I was the best thing he'd ever had, and he was so sorry he almost lost me etc. etc.

We got back together. After about a month or two, he gradually grew colder. He had started to work quite a bit at a restaurant, and didn't have time to see me often. His calls even dropped to minimal. I was tearful and heartbroken. I tried to question him about his behavior and he reacted defensively, and without sympathy for my situation, saying I should understand he's busy. We fought, and I said " buddy, you haven't picked up the phone in over a week. you're expecting me to feel everything's good about our relationship?" and he said " yes, everything's fine" (same cruelty as before). I said "oh, great then *sarcasm*, so i guess i'll hear form you tomorrow! (more sarcasm)" he said "sure thing" and that was that. He didnt' call the next day or the day after that. I wrote him a letter breaking up with him, telling him I cared for him more than he could know, but due to his treatment didn't care if i saw him again. I also enclosed a beautiful collage i had made for him as a belated birthday present. He never responded, and when i got a friend to call his house for him, found he had left for b.c without saying goodbye.

So that was that. I managed to find his email address *sheer intuition/psychic weirdness, i tell you* and we got in contact. I finally told him that i had been in love with him * i was too afraid to tell him when we were together* and he said he was in a relationship. this communication continued for several years, with him telling me he dreamt of me etc. He tried to meet me once several years ago, travellig to ottawa agian to find me. Unfortunately, i had moved to toronto a year before, without him knowing. He asked me to come to him, and terrified of losing my sanity and heart again, said i couldn't afford to make the trip. he said he'd wait around for me for a few days, but in typical style was gone to b.c the next day.
We had more fervent exchanges, he told me he thinks of me often, remembers everyhting about me, my scent etc, etc, but not too long ago said he'd gotten married, and was expectinga child. I tried to be big and congratulate him on that, encouraging him and telling him he'll be a good father etc, and I never heard from him after that.

So, that's our story. The only thing left to tell is the hole in my heart and soul he left. It's been 6 years since I last saw him, and my heart thinks of him almost daily. Little things, like when I wash the dishes, I remember him giving me a tip on how to get stuck on things off dishes. .. I'm a painter and his face has been painted on canvas in varying forms hundreds of times. I dream of writing to him again to see how he is. I don't know what to do. I'm in a relationship with someone I love dearly, but somehow fear a large part of my heart belongs to this Michel. PArt of me feels i'm fantasizing, delusional and creating a fantasy around someone in my past out of some self-defeating impulse in me. But the feeling I get in my heart when I think of him is just sharp pain.


his birthday: October 30, 1976. I don't know his time of birth, which sucks, but my intuition tells me it's pisces.

Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Scorpio 07°29'31 08 direct
Moon Aquarius 17°58'08 12 direct
Mercury Scorpio 02°39'12 08 direct
Venus Sagittarius 12°15'29 09 direct
Mars Scorpio 15°03'29 08 direct
Jupiter Taurus 28°32'52 02 retrograde
Saturn Leo 16°09'17 06 direct
Uranus Scorpio 07°28'50 08 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 12°23'58 09 direct
Pluto Libra 12°35'25 07 direct
True Node Scorpio 03°32'36 08 direct


House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Pisces 12°12'40
2nd House Taurus 01°41'09
3rd House Gemini 00°39'13
Imum Coeli Gemini 21°40'25
5th House Cancer 11°12'34
6th House Leo 04°26'16
Descendant Virgo 12°12'40
8th House Scorpio 01°41'09
9th House Sagittarius 00°39'13
Medium Coeli Sagittarius 21°40'25
11th House Capricorn 11°12'34
12th House Aquarius 04°26'16

Major aspects
Sun Conjunction Mercury 4°50
Sun Conjunction Mars 7°34
Sun Conjunction Uranus 0°01
Sun Trine Ascendant 4°43
Moon Sextile Venus 5°43
Moon Square Mars 2°55
Moon Opposition Saturn 1°49
Moon Sextile Neptune 5°34
Moon Trine Pluto 5°23
Mercury Conjunction Uranus 4°50
Venus Trine Saturn 3°54
Venus Conjunction Neptune 0°08
Venus Sextile Pluto 0°20
Venus Square Ascendant 0°03
Mars Square Saturn 1°06
Mars Trine Ascendant 2°51
Saturn Trine Neptune 3°45
Saturn Sextile Pluto 3°34
Uranus Trine Ascendant 4°44
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°11
Neptune Square Ascendant 0°11
Pluto Quincunx Ascendant 0°23

Mine:
for M (female)
born on 20 May 1980 local time 08:51 am
in Toronto, ON (CAN) U.T. 12:51
79w23, 43n39 sid. time 23:26:47

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Taurus 29°38'43 11 direct
Moon Leo 15°27'36 02 direct
Mercury Gemini 08°14'02 11/12 direct
Mercury is technically near the end of house 11 and is interpreted in house 12.
Venus Cancer 02°13'47 12 direct
Mars Virgo 05°24'43 03 direct
Jupiter Virgo 01°06'51 03 direct
Saturn Virgo 20°11'48 03/4 stationary (D)
Saturn is technically near the end of house 3 and is interpreted in house 4.
Uranus Scorpio 23°17'43 05 retrograde
Neptune Sagittarius 21°53'31 06 retrograde
Pluto Libra 19°22'37 04 retrograde
True Node Leo 24°07'42 03 retrograde


House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Cancer 14°00'48
2nd House Leo 02°38'01
3rd House Leo 23°49'08
Imum Coeli Virgo 20°57'40
5th House Libra 27°00'15
6th House Sagittarius 08°18'40
Descendant Capricorn 14°00'48
8th House Aquarius 02°38'01
9th House Aquarius 23°49'08
Medium Coeli Pisces 20°57'40
11th House Aries 27°00'15
12th House Gemini 08°18'40

Major aspects
Sun Square Mars 5°46
Sun Square Jupiter 1°28
Sun Opposition Uranus 6°21
Moon Sextile Mercury 7°14
Moon Square Uranus 7°50
Moon Trine Neptune 6°26
Moon Sextile Pluto 3°55
Mercury Square Mars 2°49
Venus Sextile Mars 3°11
Venus Sextile Jupiter 1°07
Mars Conjunction Jupiter 4°18
Saturn Sextile Uranus 3°06
Saturn Square Neptune 1°42
Neptune Sextile Pluto 2°31
Pluto Square Ascendant 5°22

I know this has been a LOT to read and take in, but it's been hurting me for years. If anyone can help, I'd appreciate it. I am willing to let him go, and have in many ways. It's just a secret part of me that i rarely verbalize or express that holds on to him dearly as my one true soul match.
Thank you,

Silvana.

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alchemiest
Knowflake

Posts: 269
From: baltimore, MD USA
Registered: Sep 2003

posted February 02, 2005 11:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alchemiest     Edit/Delete Message
Wow. That is really intense.
I'm not a very good astrologer, so I'll leave the chart interpretations to our more experienced knowflakes. I did get a strong intuitive feeling from reading your post though, so I'll go with it.

See, when our twin soul/s come into our lives, it's not always hunky dorey. They don't always show up so that you can have a wonderful life together. Remember, you're both souls, learning different lessons, seeking different experiences in the cosmic journey of life. Sometimes, there is something that has to be learnt or done together, and then you move apart, discovering new experiences of your own. When one twin is more highly evolved (and I use the term loosely, as I believe we're all equally 'evolved' as the term stands) than the other, something like what you describe may happen. Also, maybe you two simply have different life paths in this lifetime. Don't let what hapened depress you or hold you back. I know what you mean when you say you get this sharp stabbing pain in your heart when you think of him, but remember, this too shall pass. You'll be with him again, maybe not in this place, maybe not in this time, but when you both are ready. Don't feel sad over what was- look to the present to see and appreciate what is... look to to the future and see the possibilities. Know that the joy in beauty and love lies not in possessing it, but in knowing it exists. And it does. You experienced it. It still exists, and it will always exist. Be comforted by this. Don't just think it- KNOW it, and experience the joy of each passing moment secure in the knowledge that that love is there, and is waiting for you when the both of you are ready once again.

------------------

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Live. Love. Laugh.
Mostly laugh.

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silvana
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: toronto
Registered: May 2003

posted February 03, 2005 03:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for silvana     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for responding. I put so much into writing that and was so afraid no one would! Okay, in our situation, who was the more evolved soul? He was the one talking karma and souls and astrology, and I was more concerned with quoting oscar wilde, smoking cigarettes, and didn't believe in anything spiritual, pretty much. I fear he is the more evolved soul in some respects. I knew I loved him with all my being, but I couldn't even tell him due to a fear of losing control over myself. I remember letting go and crying once, and he held me in the most magical way and told me stories of what the landscape looked like as you drove across canada. Even though it wasn't the healthiest relationship ( I was panicked internally and terrified of losing him, that's very unhealhty), I still feel i lost the true love of my life. The only person who could love me completely in the way I wanted.
My partner now loves me as he can. He loves me in ways I never knew I needed. He heals me in secret and covert ways. An astrologer I once went to see said that my Pluto in Libra meant that Libras can provide transformative experiences for me. My partner is, and I love him for that. I just feel unfaithful on a soul level.

Thanks so much for you words, though. They really, really touched me. Don't worry about not looking at our charts, I'm sure a Knowflake perfect for the job will come along. One question: Is honouring the love you felt for someone as eternal in anyway unfaithful to other partners/loves you may have?

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GemStar
Knowflake

Posts: 198
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2004

posted February 03, 2005 07:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemStar     Edit/Delete Message
Nice story...

And a heartbreaker as well...

Before I answser further, when is your current BF's birthdate?

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silvana
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: toronto
Registered: May 2003

posted February 03, 2005 09:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for silvana     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Gemstar,

My boyfriend's birthday is October 9, 1976.
Here's his chart:


Planetary positions
planet sign degree house motion
Sun Libra 16°04'18 03 direct
Moon Aries 27°27'13 09 direct
Mercury Virgo 28°18'44 02/3 direct
Mercury is technically near the end of house 2 and is interpreted in house 3.
Venus Scorpio 15°59'54 04 direct
Mars Scorpio 00°16'17 03/4 direct
Mars is technically near the end of house 3 and is interpreted in house 4.
Jupiter Gemini 00°34'27 10 retrograde
Saturn Leo 14°42'13 01 direct
Uranus Scorpio 06°09'01 04 direct
Neptune Sagittarius 11°47'14 05 direct
Pluto Libra 11°46'20 03 direct
True Node Scorpio 03°30'30 04 retrograde


House positions (Placidus)
Ascendant Leo 13°11'22
2nd House Virgo 03°31'54
3rd House Virgo 28°54'00
Imum Coeli Scorpio 00°59'03
5th House Sagittarius 08°01'59
6th House Capricorn 13°25'27
Descendant Aquarius 13°11'22
8th House Pisces 03°31'54
9th House Pisces 28°54'00
Medium Coeli Taurus 00°59'03
11th House Gemini 08°01'59
12th House Cancer 13°25'27

Major aspects
Sun Sextile Saturn 1°22
Sun Sextile Neptune 4°17
Sun Conjunction Pluto 4°18
Sun Sextile Ascendant 2°53
Moon Quincunx Mercury 0°52
Moon Opposition Mars 2°49
Mercury Trine Jupiter 2°16
Venus Square Saturn 1°18
Venus Square Ascendant 2°49
Mars Quincunx Jupiter 0°18
Mars Conjunction Uranus 5°53
Saturn Trine Neptune 2°55
Saturn Sextile Pluto 2°56
Saturn Conjunction Ascendant 1°31
Neptune Sextile Pluto 0°01
Neptune Trine Ascendant 1°24
Pluto Sextile Ascendant 1°25


Why do you ask?
I'm really looking forward to your reply!

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alchemiest
Knowflake

Posts: 269
From: baltimore, MD USA
Registered: Sep 2003

posted February 03, 2005 11:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for alchemiest     Edit/Delete Message
hey hon
That's an interesting question.. who is the more highly evolved. I think you answered it very well yourself though... in some ways (astrologically and such, as you said) perhaps he is the more mature one. In others, (such as facing the truth of your relationship and dealing with it maturely) it sounds as though the more mature one is you. But remember, both of you are really the same... you just need to discover yourselves and in that discovery find your inner peace with what is. You can't measure spiritual growth by the amount of esoteric knowledge one possesses or how religious a person is. You can't measure growth period. Everyone experiences different 'lessons' (as they were) in life, and they all go away with different things. They all grow, but you can't compare this growth. I guess a better word for it that evolvedness' would be 'maturity'.
As for your question about whether it is unfaithful to love someone in your soul while you are with another, I don't believe that it unfaithful at all. Your soul recognises its companions (note the plural on that term). It loves all these companions in different ways. One love does not in any way detract from the others. Don't feel guilty about your love. Recognise it, embrace it, but at the same time, also see the love that is in front of you. Recognise your current companion as what he is- one of your soul companions. Don't let one feeling overpower all the others because then your perceptions may get clouded. I know it's a little trite, but go with the flow, you know? Don't hold on to the past. Live and embrace the love of today. The rest will work itself out.

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silvana
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: toronto
Registered: May 2003

posted February 05, 2005 02:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for silvana     Edit/Delete Message
I will try to go with the flow. I realize that although he might have been more aware of certain spiritual practices, I was more aware of different ideas too.
Thanks for saying my love for him shouldn't be something I feel guilty about nor blow out of perspective so I lose sight of my current loves.
I'm still dying for someone to have a look at our charts, I feel like there must be something indicated there to help explain the type of relationship this has been.

Lots of love,
Silvana

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silvana
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: toronto
Registered: May 2003

posted February 09, 2005 03:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for silvana     Edit/Delete Message
SO sorry to be a pest everyone, but would someone mind looking at our charts, please? Alchmiest has given me some outstanding advice that I am still digesting, but I would really like to know what type of things are in mine and Michel's charts. Thanks for your help everyone!

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steelrose
Knowflake

Posts: 235
From: Spain
Registered: Sep 2004

posted February 09, 2005 09:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for steelrose     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, Silvana... That was a intense story... I can sympathize with you...I also had a strong connection with a Scorpio. He broke my heart 6 years ago and until very recently, Iīve been thinking he was my Twin Soul and feeling the same way you describe. It was so intense, so magical... I thought I lost the love of my life without a chance to have him.

If you are curious, Iīll give you the link to my story. Itīs somewhere in this forum. Itīs a story of pain and misunderstanding, of fear and cowardy... of a person who never was the one I thought he was. He poisoned my soul, he tortured my spirit with cruelty... for nothing... He was meant to be at that point in time, maybe I was the one who was meant for him... I strongly believe I sorted him out, I saved him with my prayers, with my love... I only got the pain. He suffered as well but it was self-inflicted.

Now Iīm considering that maybe I was wrong. Maybe he is not my Twin after all... And Iīm so glad about that realisation... I donīt deserve what he left for me, not if he was my Twin... It took me 6 years to understand and a failed relationship with another Scorpio, another cruel creature...
I also felt so horribly guilty about loving someone else, I felt like a liar, like a cheater. I donīt feel that way anymore. Because now, I donīt love him anymore.

He is not my prince. He was just my executioner. He is also with someone else now. They are getting a place together and will get married. I was his angel and he only wounded me , unable to do things right or behave maturely. I learnt my lesson but his is yet to come... Heīs been escaping from the truth, hiding from it... But now, I know it will hit him... Hard... My best friend is a bit psychic, and recently said “Donīt worry... Heīll pay for it one day...” very cryptically and I believe he will, sooner than he may think... Karma law, sweetie...

Iīm not an expert astrologer... But I have done a quick comparison chart... Conventional astrology doesnīt show anything that looks as if there is a lot going on between you...

10/30/1976 Aspect 05/20/1980 Orb/Value
Sun Sextile Mars 1.48 88
Mercury Trine Venus 0.03 136
Mercury Sextile Jupiter 1.03 79
Venus Opposition Mercury 3.44 -73
Jupiter Conjunction Sun 1.03 205
Jupiter Square Jupiter 2.33 -77

However, you have a lot of aspects with Chiron (check them, please... I did the calculations from the top of my head):

Your Chiron Opposition His Mars
Your Chiron Quinqunx His Venus
Your Chiron Quinqunx His Neptune
Your Chiron Trine His Saturn
His Chiron Quinqunx Your Jupiter

Iīm starting to read about Magi Astrology. Magi astrologers believe that Chiron is the key to our soulmate.

Quinqunxes are favorable aspects under Magi unless they are formed with Saturn. The only one really dangerous to your relationship I can see is the Chiron-Mars opposition...
They also analyse declinations but I donīt know where to get them from... You can have information leading to heartbreak in there...

Sorry about my limited abilities... I wish I could help you more... My advice is keep waiting for the future to unfold and get on with your life, donīt put it on hold... Because you may discover at the end that he wasn’t worth that sacrifice. Learn your lesson and try to be happy. Love the man you have now as if you didnīt know the previous one. Because he may be the one and you still donīt know...

Check this link: http://www.magiastrology.com/index.html
You can download for free: http://www.magiastrology.com/mini-book.htm

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silvana
Knowflake

Posts: 54
From: toronto
Registered: May 2003

posted February 11, 2005 02:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for silvana     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you for your response, Steelrose. You remind me of all the strength I've mustered over the years, and the blind vision that he is not the right one for me. I had a dream once, where he came back for me. He was still in love with some girl, and was writing her name on a piece of paper, or writing a letter to her even in my presence. My best friend met him for the first time, and after we had a chance to talk alone, she said he wasn't trustworthy and he had lying eyes.
This dream has served as comfort over the years. My best friend is a true soul, and wouldn't deceive me concerning love. Michel hurt me so badly, and I think the wound is so deep, that I assumed great rewards were in store for our love. That's sick, but I thought through suffering like this, I would get closer to happiness.
You said something about your scorpio being your executioner, and I shudder. It's so true. Why were we in love with these men who would hand us our heads on a platter for the sheer pleasure of it?
Woe is me.
I'm a bit confused by Magi astrology. I don't understand it at all to be honest. I thought the fact that his moon was in aqua and mine was in leo and that his sun was in scorpio and mine in taurus made for a crazy combination of fixed oppositions. Am I wrong?

Thanks for looking into our charts. I'm curious about Chiron now.

Much love,

Silvana

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