posted February 20, 2005 07:06 AM         

I advised in a post this morning to call a person because the moon is void today. Should I take my own advice? I have been feeling the past few days that I miss my Virgo ex very much. So much so in fact, that I almost cried about it while out Saturday.

To explain further, the reason we broke up this time is he heard from someone that I was seeing another person. He's away working far from me, but closer to his family and old friends and has been gone since end of January. A mutual acquaintance or rather for me, a friend of a friend of a friend, told him that lie. I denied it, but admitted to being flirtatious and he really didn't believe me. I have recently heard that they have been seeing each other. I simply don't understand how he could be swayed against me. How can someone's jealousy rule them that much? I am so angry and hurt. He called me last week and I didn't answer when I saw it was him.

I literally don't know what to do about our relationship. I can't keep breaking up and getting back together, it's tiring. He's very mutable and his natal chart points to difficulty being comfortable in love relationships, and every time we break up he claims his "life goes downhill". But, I can't stand the conflict.

I am ignoring him, but a friend said he is trying to apologize to me and the fact he is relaying messages to me this way just makes me more angry. Even though I understand he's afraid to talk to me because i'll yell at him. I simply deserve better treatment and don't know if I feel like continuing to teach him how. It's a cycle and I think I'm done. I miss him, but can be strong enough to walk away. I just want to make sure its not just my pride that isn't allowing his mistake to be forgiven.

posted February 20, 2005 09:06 AM         

Good Luck!

-Kat
Virgo Sun/Leo Moon/Leo Venus

posted February 20, 2005 04:29 PM         

You are right about his need for reassurance and yes he is very proud. He really just needs to mature some. I am so mad at him and disappointed, yet still miss him.

My goal is to wait until he comes back in a few weeks and then see if I want to have any contact. But the moon is void much of today, so I will make my ultimate decision to call or not in the next few hours.

posted February 20, 2005 05:15 PM         

You said he's been trying to contact you... why don't you have a sit-down with him, in person, and discuss your feelings? This way, even if you have decided to move on, you'll at least have some closure.

posted February 20, 2005 05:45 PM         

Typing your name just made me smile.
I have figured out why she did it. She wanted him and knew him well enough to plant a seed of doubt. That's what I feel disappointed the most about, no one could bend my ear with stories about him. I would just let them know that its inappropriate to criticize or spread gossip about my mate. I hate that he wasn't strong enough to do that. Yes he has been hurt before, but not by me and I feel that is the difference he should acknowledge.

Anyway, he's been gone about 4 weeks and will be back in about 7-8 weeks. I just don't see a possibility of working this out long distance and don't know if I even want to. But you are right, if I do decide to say anything it will be in person.

posted February 20, 2005 06:02 PM         

I don't like relayed messages either, it's manipulative. The question I have is the usual one, what are your needs in this relationship and have you defined and communicated them? If you have then you have done your best, but if you haven't what do you want to happen? Jealousy is a huge force in an earth sun sign's life, it's always going to be there, how will you cope in the future?

posted February 20, 2005 07:27 PM         

You are so right, we have definitely had our ups and downs. Strangely its mostly due to outside influences.

He knows my needs; I need freedom, love, total trust, the truth even when it hurts, basic respect, cuddling, and sex. I'm not neurotic, don't have many issues other than i'm prideful, like to figure things out on my own, and can be bossy. Other than that, not too many tough issues.

He has given me those things and met me more than halfway by toning down his need to dominate and be the center of my life. He knows I can't be like that, I'm not possessive or needy in that way. Maybe he needs that in a relationship? I don't know.

As far as jealousy goes, I am also an earth sun sign, but not jealous at all. His jealousy and possessiveness are often the focus of our relationship. I simply don't understand those feelings, I figure if someone is there for me consistently and cares for me & vice versa, we're good.

I don't know if I can take the jealousy in the future, mainly because I don't know if I want a future with him. This isn't a proclamation, just confusion, hurt, and anger speaking. I'll have to figure out how much more effort, if any, I want to put in the relationship.

posted February 21, 2005 09:05 PM         

I decided its his problem and issues, so he will have to approach me to discuss it or reconcile. I'm done with working so hard on problems that are not of my own making. I have enough of my own problems to deal with, lol. I deserve better and he can only be with me if he gives better. See, that's how my Cancer Rising and Leo Moon conflict. The rising wants to be soft and accommodating, but the Moon says wait a second... where's the worship and respect? lol. Fortunately my Taurus Sun helps balance it all out.

Actually, I think the Venus & Pluto sextile must have hit something interesting on my natal chart; because I feel excellent, just really really good, happy, and optimistic.

posted February 22, 2005 02:11 AM         

I wish I could offer some wise astrological advice! Since I'm not an astrologer or even an amateur star gazer... I can only offer some thoughts based on what I know of relationships.

I think - to offer you some of your own advice - you should make a move and call him, instead of wondering what's going through his head, which is essentially anyones' guess. It might be tricky being that he's seeing someone...but in my experience, it sounds like he might be trying to make you a little jealous. Any chance this could be true?

I so know what it feels like to think of and miss a lost love...I don't know if it's something in the air or what, but it sure as heck seems that a lot of people are pining away for a love from their past lately...not just here, but everywhere I go...

posted February 22, 2005 04:33 PM         

You're right, I should take my own advice and call him. Only problem is I am feeling really good and don't want to take a chance of feeling down again based on what we discuss over the phone. I am also a typical taurus in that I really dislike gabbing, especially on the phone.

You are also correct that he is trying to make me jealous. He loves attention and apparently I do not give enough, so he tries to p*ss me off. I don't know, perhaps I will call him later this week. We'll see.

posted February 23, 2005 12:42 AM         

I don't know if I can commit to THAT deal!!!

Well, whatever you decide to do...you sound like you have a level head and I think your intuition will tell you if/when the time is right...

posted March 10, 2005 03:25 AM         

One thing I do say is, I thank God for giving me this man, if even only for a little while. I learned what unconditional love is, and that is a wonderful and valuable gift.

This is actually an example of getting what you wanted, I waited and finally got my hearts desire and still lost it. There's irony in that.