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Author
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Topic: How would you deal with ?
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Evay
Knowflake Posts: 3
From: hong kong
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted March 20, 2005 12:53 AM
 
Hello everybody...this is my first time to post topic here and I am not really good at English, so, hope you all would understand the terrible message I write and I would appreciate if you can identify all the mistake (grammatical..etc).
I have been in love with a guy for about 2 years some more. He is 5 years elder than me (I am 19 and he is 24)...I never felt that there is phschic distance between us and l think we are soul mate and really love each other.
Lately, we always talk about 'sex'...I am a chinese and he is American...but it has never been a problem for us, but this time, I really feel that I am much more conservative...that is what I havent notice before.
As usual, we just like all the couple in the world...dating, talk, laugh, hug, kiss, touch...but we still havent have sex. Everytime when he talks to me by using the 'sexy language', I blush...lol...
When he saw that, he thought he made me feel bad, embarrass. Then he would apologize and stop talking on it. I feel like twisted the warm and love feeling and atmosphere...thats what make me feel bad.
In fact, what he said is not bad...so warm and full of love...I am not resist sex, but the words..sometimes, I feel embarrass when hearing all these words.
Have you all ever had this kind of problem? If you are me, what would you do?
IP: Logged |
Secret Garden
Knowflake Posts: 361
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted March 20, 2005 02:46 AM
Evay, what is your sign, and the guys sign? your charts would be better. Maybe you have Virgo placements. I know that Virgo Venus/Mars/Mercury people don't like crass or cheap words, or talk about sexual conduct. That doesnt mean they aren't open to sex, or don't enjoy it, but that sexual talk is not their preference.
It is completely acceptable and more common than you think, do not reprimand yourself for your sexual preference. As for the age difference I myself do not belive it is a big deal. I have had several relationships with men 7-10 yrs older than me, all of which were fine on emotional, verbal, physical, intellectual levels. No problems in those areas. Maybe it is also a cultural issue, because American culture encourages discussion/communication of sexual motives before the actual act, also more people are exploring sex through communicative channels-the net, words, things that were never said 50 yrs ago are said openly even on the news now. Im not saying that I advocate or oppose it, but for the most part its true. Consider posting your charts, you can get them at www.astro.com, and hopefully you will get good feedback, everyone here is really experienced with astro, and extremely friendly and helpful. Welcome! Much love,
SG IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 20849
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000
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posted March 20, 2005 08:04 AM
Welcome!  ------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 154
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted March 20, 2005 08:08 PM
I just want to throw my 'lil ole two cents in here and agree with what SG said..I'm a Sagittarius (very - with Sun, Asc, Mars & Jupiter), plus with Aquarius moon and Venus in Libra, am pretty firey and outspoken (usually opening my mouth to switch feet lol) PLUS, my Mercury is in Scorpio. You'd think I was a ball of fire and aggressive in the sex department always talking sex...I am, to a degree, but a few things have to happen first: 1.I have to be comfortable with you and you need to gain my trust and confidence in you 2.I don't like blatant displays or crude talk, unless we're already in bed. Then anything goes. 3.I'm more cerebral and will want to connect with a guy first on many levels, not just the base sex-thing. It could also be your tender age (I remember how I was at 19 and I am twice your age now!) and you're not yet used to being so verbal about it. It sounds as though you two have been around each other enough that this isn't a new relationship and you're past the 'feeling each other out' (sorry, no pun intended, really!) stage. He seems as though he's sensitive to your feelings about it though. Is it possibly the timing that's off for you? I had to add, also, that it's perfectly normal for you to be uncomfortable or even nervous about sex with a man, particularly if it hasn't happened between the two of you yet. Is it possible you're not ready to get to that point with him yet and need a way to say this to him? Being a Sag, I would just come out and say: "You know I really like/care for/love you, but I'm not really ready for this yet"
~ Laura
Sag sun/Sag Asc/Aqua Moon/Libra Venus/Sag Mars/Scorpio Merc IP: Logged |
Evay
Knowflake Posts: 3
From: hong kong
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted March 21, 2005 08:10 AM
Laura, thank you very much for your advise.
I have been asked myself (if I am ready for having sex) for several times...sometimes, I feel 'yes', sometimes 'no'. That is why I dont have sex with him yet.
Yes, you are right...he is really sensitive to me, he is a good guy!
Finally, thanks again for your advise..I will try to talk to him about that.
By the way, how were you when you were 19? lol...IP: Logged |
Evay
Knowflake Posts: 3
From: hong kong
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted March 21, 2005 08:25 AM
My sign is Virgo and my boyfriend's sign is Cancer.
SG, you are right, he is always free to talk about sex and I understand and respect him and his culture. In fact, from the day we have been together, we both knew that we have to face that the culture and language problem may occur.
Anyway, thanks for your reply and the recommended site. I would love to visit the site as I am quite interested in astro. too.
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Lindaland
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