Posts: 201
From: Portland, OR
Registered: Jan 2004

posted April 19, 2005 04:23 PM         

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Hi Knowflakes...

I looking for some words of wisdom/comfort/personal experience
(all of the above)

A close friend of mine and I had this huge argument that put this huge distance (I feel it's huge) between us. We have talked about our relationship/friendship and how it will always be there no matter what. Without going into too much detail, because I would probably takes up pages and pages, this is my relationship with my Aqua guy.

We have had arguments in the past that resulted in our being able to calm down and talk - this one, though was the granddaddy of them all, there was so much anger expressed, I was in total shock after he lashed out, it was so unexpected.

Does anyone else experience this feeling after having an argument with someone close? I know this sounds like 'just a fight', but it really doesn't - I think I lost a sense of trust or it's a turning point...something.
Thank you,
Laura

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Posts: 40
From: L.A., CA, USA
Registered: Jan 2005

posted April 19, 2005 08:02 PM         

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Laura,

I think I know exactly how you feel. My b/f and I had a HUGE fight over a difference of opinion - he said some VERY hurtful things then left. He called 5 minutes later and said, "How are you?" I replied, "Not good." He said, "Then maybe you should rethink things." That hurt even more because he wasn't taking responsibility for 'his' part in the argument. I didn't want to talk to him but he kept trying to e-mail and IM me. I talked to my mom and she said, "You like him, right? Would you rather be right or would you rather be lonely?" I realized that I was being standoffish because my feelings were hurt and that he 'was' trying. I know what's right for me and his thinking otherwise was his problem, not mine. I called him after 1 1/2 weeks, asking, "Can we just forget about this and move on?" He was shocked that I was willing to do that and we talked for 3 hours. He came over the next day and, though it was awkward at first, we eventually relaxed and took it slowly until we felt comfortable with each other again. We're not together anymore (for other reasons than the argument) but we know we're ALWAYS going to have a special place in our hearts for each other...and it's a pretty nice feeling to have. Good luck!

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