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Author
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Topic: Dysfunctional Relationships
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 968
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 23, 2005 10:28 AM
 
I feel compelled to write about a few threads I have been reading which I find interesting. Me being the expert on dysfunctional relationships lol, would just like to pass on some things I have learned about my past. Whenever, I felt vulnerable, I attracted men who were either needy, immature, or in some way addicted to either drugs/booze etc. When I got stronger and decided to do some work on myself I attracted a strong not-needy, honest and stable man into my life. Now me being a person who is ruled by their emotions, has taken a long time to trust this relationship, and now 16 years later I can see it is a good and healthy one, albeit not perfect. When I was younger, I rescued people, especially men - "oh you poor thing" I would think and then I would be hooked in and they would be attracted to me like bees around the honeypot. I discovered thro healing and therapy that the relationship with my father (who was addicted to meds and hated his mother and father) does now even tho he is 78 and says he will never forgive them!!! He also says he loathes himself. So put all that together, poor little girl had to feel responsible for Dad and his depression and then went onto repeat that pattern in her love life. I can see it so strongly with women rescuing their men - so easy to do, so common, Ive seen it happen time after time. I am now at a stage where although deeply compassionate, I can see them coming a mile off and try to choose my company very very carefully. I feel the last unhealthy attachment I formed with the Libra guy WILL be the last - heres to healthy, well balanced friendships and lovers. I mistakenly thought I could be everyones therapist (ha ha), when all the time it was ME that needed one. I hope this helps guys, I hope I can in some way get thro to anyone in a difficult situation - I speak from the heart and send much love and enlightenment xxx  IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 997
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted May 23, 2005 12:41 PM
IP: Logged |
ariestiger
Knowflake Posts: 503
From: UK
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted May 23, 2005 01:25 PM
Wow, Sue,This has made me think. LOL. *whenever I felt vulnerable, I attracted men who were either needy, immature, or in some way addicted to either drugs/booze etc.* I admit I myself have a lot of work to do on myself before I quit coming across as vulnerable (& perhaps therefore easily impressed and drawn to codependent situations?) Thank you for your post, it has underlined a lot of what I know and enabled me to fit yet another piece of the 1000-piece puzzle into place! I'm sorry your dad feels like that about his parents (although who am I to talk, I feel the same way about mine). LOL
AriesTiger IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 968
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted May 23, 2005 02:39 PM
Glad to help Ariestiger.............how interesting my Dad is Aries too - love and light xxxIP: Logged |
histrionix
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Apr 2005
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posted June 01, 2005 12:25 AM
Sue G, thanks for posting this, as I have been trying to prevent this very thing from ruling my life. You had replied to my posts before, regarding me ending a relationship with a man I felt wasn't for me, so thanks for that, too.  I am 21, and I'm trying to wisen up so as to not make those kinds of mistakes you talk about, as I have seen my mother and myself do. I think to myself also that I am responsible for rescue. My thoughts run along the lines of: surely I can just not leave them in love with me like that, I brought them to this point, I'm not entirely innocent, I must guide, council and nurture them until they are fully grown...yada yada frickin' yada (yeah right), meanwhile watching my spirit turn OLD, for lack of a better word. Hello, these are adult men! It's honestly time to curb the nurturing relationship sensitivities and direct it towards ourselves on the inside. Now my challenge will indeed be spotting that **** miles away and then staying the heck away from it. You search for love, but sometimes the counterfeit finds you first. Makes me mad! IP: Logged |
SavageScorpio
Knowflake Posts: 14
From: Davis, Ca. US
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted June 01, 2005 12:29 AM
Yeah that is soooo TRUE! I've come to realize all that, and thankfully I'm eighteen so hopefully I got it out of my system young with my past relationship. No more for me...! Good way to put it all into words though! You read my mind about so many things. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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