Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  Change is in the air...

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Change is in the air...
SunChild
Moderator

Posts: 1258
From: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia!
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 25, 2005 01:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
...and my transits indicate BIG changes, they're indicating it is a time for me to learn, change and grow.
And the most startling of all~ is that it is time to do something about it.
quote:
Between the full Moon occurring in Sagittarius on the 23rd, Mercury forming a sextile to Saturn on the 25th and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 28th, the only thing you can count on is that new experiences and expansive opportunities are en route. So get yourself out of any rut you're currently in and see just how far you can take these new prospects.

I read this after it all began, and because I have a major Sag influence in my chart, and Mercury is my charts' ruler I guess this is meant to be a wake up call.
I read this this morning after 3 agonizing days, I realize, that it is time..

...time to listen to my heart's desires before they are eroded away entirely, the time is now to save my individuality.

My Natal Transit today began with Venus square Venus! As I read this my jaw dropped !!!

quote:
under some circumstances it can be a period of testing to see if relationships are on a sound footing. The test may consist of situations that will determine your ability to maintain your individuality within your important relationships. This influence produces a tendency to compromise rather than to stand up for your beliefs and rights. Someone may take advantage of your good nature at this time, which is not a tremendous danger, but something to keep in mind when dealing with people today. At this time your energies are rather low, not so that you feel sick, but so that you feel like doing nothing. Your work may not be done carefully because your heart is not really in it.

NO! My heart is NOT in the work I'm doing, it is not, I am letting my boss down, and I have taken the last two days off because my self would not let me walk out that door
I'm suffocating! Because my heart is no longer in Love with my other half.

I don't know what to do, my life is going to change dramatically over the next few days.
I've sensed it for quite some time, but never acted on it because I'm afraid to!

I'll explain my relationship so far. I am with a man 14 years older than I. He met me when I was 16, I was a child, and I was lost.
He saved me from rebellious friends, and took me under his wing, and gave me the tools so I could become a better person. And I did!
His influence in my life expanded my intelligence and maturity, I discovered a new spiritual side, and of course, the teachings of Linda Goodman.
He lost his career because he was seeing me, because his reputation was ruined as no one liked the fact he was with a girl half his age.
But he stayed with me, and I became a wonderful human being.
He illuminated a path for me, he put me there, and he turned me into a bright, intelligent girl!
For 4 years our relationship was PERFECT, we were a dream couple, despite the 'age' difference, but on a Soul level, there's no difference at all.
Only my family understood that.
So we were comfortable, and happy and I felt he was the One.
But now things are different.
Our goals are different, he is hardly spiritual any more, and now he drinks!!!
I feel I have lost him HIM. Hes not the guy I met!!!
The guy I met never drinks, the guy I know doesn't treat me with disrespect, its' like he's a different person.
His attitude toward lovemaking has become perverted, (recently). Hes not the man I know.
I feel the only reason I still live with him is because I feel I OWE him something because my presence in his life caused him to lose a career, and friends.
I feel he needs me to take care of him. He's never been independent. Neither have I.
The last three days were hard. I look in his eyes, and he is no longer there!
I've been with him for 4 years! I never thought it would end, and I feel it will, soon.

It is crunch time, and I don't know what to do! I know I will lose my job (I don't care really) but I need money. My heart is not in the work I do, and when we do break up I know I wont be able to cope working for some time. I will be a mess!
I don't want him to fail either, I don't want him to be so depressed that he can't work, he needs a life, and he has no where to go. We depend on each other, and it's wrong.
My parents are going away for 2 weeks tomorrow, and they've given me a key to their home so I can live there. I don't know if I can physically do this, but I know my Heart is screaming out telling me to!
I'm going to lose everything!
I have already lost him HIM.

------------------
"The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle." Anais Nin

IP: Logged

SunChild
Moderator

Posts: 1258
From: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia!
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 25, 2005 01:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
Its like I've reached the end of a cycle in my life with him, he's taken me so far and advanced me incredibly.
We've hit a plato.
I can no longer learn any more from him, he's given me the tools, and the rest is up to me.
He's a soul mate, but not the One I seek, I know this now.
So hard, so heart wrenching!

He's a Spritiual Guide/ Teacher, and now he's doing things to make me go, unconcsiously.
That's how I see it. This is sad, and I have no friends I can share this with.
I have lost them over 4 years because I've been tied up with Him.

I have some distant friends, but even if I started talking like this, they wouldn't understand anyway.
------------------
"The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle." Anais Nin

IP: Logged

future_uncertain
Knowflake

Posts: 913
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004

posted May 25, 2005 08:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for future_uncertain     Edit/Delete Message
Sunchild... good for you for having the clarity to see the situation for what it is. Sounds like you know what you've got to do and how to do it. Have you talked to him about this yet?

IP: Logged

pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 14
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: May 2005

posted May 25, 2005 10:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Sunchild...........
You can do this.

"He's a soul mate, but not the One I seek, I know this now.
So hard, so heart wrenching!"

I know, I know.. Good for you to see this.
I am glad he advanced you in your spiritual journey.. but you know, you would've gotten there on your own eventually....
I don't want you thinking you owe him something.. there is gratitude in being together and growing together.. no matter who changes or who does the urging...
Don't feel like you owe him... or at least.. Thank him, but don't subject yourself to unending questions, because he helped you.. you helped him as well.....

I don't know what to say except good luck, and wow, is this ever a Universal thing?

I had a fabulous clarifying evening in my relationship this week, and I posted it... but now it seems to have faded.. it was real though....
I wonder how to sustain this.. for four years we were awesome too. It has been seven together. *sigh*

Don't be in a destructive relationship, you are too special.
Either make it better, any way you can, If you are both willing, or mke it somewhere else, embracing aloneness.
It Isn't simple.
I wish it were. Talk here, no worries, I think we completely get what you are saying, plus we have seen your heart, so any judgements will not be true ones... at least to the ones who know you.

IP: Logged

SunChild
Moderator

Posts: 1258
From: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia!
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 25, 2005 09:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
future, I have talked this out with him, and today I'm moving out.
Now he's an emotional wreck, he regrets it all and is promising to give me the world.
But even that were to be, I still would refuse. It's not just his behavior now, it's him.

Pixel, I do need to talk here, even if it's just support, I need all I can get. Plus some of you know me more than the people in my life. I had an option to go to another state with my parents, but when I told Darren that he broke down, and really lost it. I was offered this because he did something really horrible to me last night through anger.
The thing is, I'm the stronger one in the relationship, and he has nothing except me.
And feeling sorry for someone is no reason to just forgive.

I don't really know what to do. The abuse has caused me to Love him less and less until the point where I had to go.
Now he says he'll change to have me back.
But I don't know now.
I need a long break away from him.
But that's hard for him too, he can barely take care of himself, and he's so lonely without me, do I feel heart ache because I LOVE him, OR because I feel SORRY for the guy?
I don't know.
This is so horrible, I'm in so much pain.

------------------
"The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle." Anais Nin

IP: Logged

pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 14
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: May 2005

posted May 26, 2005 01:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Sunchild...
My babe, my username fried out on me, and I couldn't post.

I'm back. new stuff...

You are a ray of warm sunshine.
I'm sorry you aren't shining right now...
I'd love to say the clouds will just go away.. but this is hard.
I know it.
Talk away.

IP: Logged

SunChild
Moderator

Posts: 1258
From: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia!
Registered: Jan 2004

posted May 26, 2005 04:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SunChild     Edit/Delete Message
Woah, I got a bit suspicious there when I saw 3 posts...thought you were cloned!!!
Thanks for the laugh!

------------------
"The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle." Anais Nin

IP: Logged

pixelpixie
Moderator

Posts: 14
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: May 2005

posted May 26, 2005 09:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Yeah.. I figured people would be suspicious a bit.. (I think I would be)
So here is my new signature, and I am trying to remember to post it each time.

------------------
------------------------
**** Yes, it is me, I put chocolate and peanut butter in the password slot, and even after I licked it off, alas, it wouldn't work anymore. So now I am new. Even though I have been here for tooooo long ( for some )I had like 9000 posts.. maybe you can help me make more?
Happy to be back!

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2005

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a