posted May 25, 2005 01:50 AM         

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Between the full Moon occurring in Sagittarius on the 23rd, Mercury forming a sextile to Saturn on the 25th and Mercury moving into Gemini on the 28th, the only thing you can count on is that new experiences and expansive opportunities are en route. So get yourself out of any rut you're currently in and see just how far you can take these new prospects.

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...time to listen to my heart's desires before they are eroded away entirely, the time is now to save my individuality.

My Natal Transit today began with Venus square Venus! As I read this my jaw dropped !!!

quote:

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under some circumstances it can be a period of testing to see if relationships are on a sound footing. The test may consist of situations that will determine your ability to maintain your individuality within your important relationships. This influence produces a tendency to compromise rather than to stand up for your beliefs and rights. Someone may take advantage of your good nature at this time, which is not a tremendous danger, but something to keep in mind when dealing with people today. At this time your energies are rather low, not so that you feel sick, but so that you feel like doing nothing. Your work may not be done carefully because your heart is not really in it.

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I don't know what to do, my life is going to change dramatically over the next few days.
I've sensed it for quite some time, but never acted on it because I'm afraid to!

I'll explain my relationship so far. I am with a man 14 years older than I. He met me when I was 16, I was a child, and I was lost.
He saved me from rebellious friends, and took me under his wing, and gave me the tools so I could become a better person. And I did!
His influence in my life expanded my intelligence and maturity, I discovered a new spiritual side, and of course, the teachings of Linda Goodman.
He lost his career because he was seeing me, because his reputation was ruined as no one liked the fact he was with a girl half his age.
But he stayed with me, and I became a wonderful human being.
He illuminated a path for me, he put me there, and he turned me into a bright, intelligent girl!
For 4 years our relationship was PERFECT, we were a dream couple, despite the 'age' difference, but on a Soul level, there's no difference at all.
Only my family understood that.
So we were comfortable, and happy and I felt he was the One.
But now things are different.
Our goals are different, he is hardly spiritual any more, and now he drinks!!!
I feel I have lost him HIM. He’s not the guy I met!!!
The guy I met never drinks, the guy I know doesn't treat me with disrespect, its' like he's a different person.
His attitude toward lovemaking has become perverted, (recently). He’s not the man I know.
I feel the only reason I still live with him is because I feel I OWE him something because my presence in his life caused him to lose a career, and friends.
I feel he needs me to take care of him. He's never been independent. Neither have I.
The last three days were hard. I look in his eyes, and he is no longer there!
I've been with him for 4 years! I never thought it would end, and I feel it will, soon.

It is crunch time, and I don't know what to do! I know I will lose my job (I don't care really) but I need money. My heart is not in the work I do, and when we do break up I know I won’t be able to cope working for some time. I will be a mess!
I don't want him to fail either, I don't want him to be so depressed that he can't work, he needs a life, and he has no where to go. We depend on each other, and it's wrong.
My parents are going away for 2 weeks tomorrow, and they've given me a key to their home so I can live there. I don't know if I can physically do this, but I know my Heart is screaming out telling me to!
I'm going to lose everything!
I have already lost him HIM.

posted May 25, 2005 01:56 AM         

He's a Spritiual Guide/ Teacher, and now he's doing things to make me go, unconcsiously.
That's how I see it. This is sad, and I have no friends I can share this with.
I have lost them over 4 years because I've been tied up with Him.

posted May 25, 2005 10:16 AM         

"He's a soul mate, but not the One I seek, I know this now.
So hard, so heart wrenching!"

I know, I know.. Good for you to see this.
I am glad he advanced you in your spiritual journey.. but you know, you would've gotten there on your own eventually....
I don't want you thinking you owe him something.. there is gratitude in being together and growing together.. no matter who changes or who does the urging...
Don't feel like you owe him... or at least.. Thank him, but don't subject yourself to unending questions, because he helped you.. you helped him as well.....

I don't know what to say except good luck, and wow, is this ever a Universal thing?

I had a fabulous clarifying evening in my relationship this week, and I posted it... but now it seems to have faded.. it was real though....
I wonder how to sustain this.. for four years we were awesome too. It has been seven together. *sigh*

posted May 25, 2005 09:42 PM         

Pixel, I do need to talk here, even if it's just support, I need all I can get. Plus some of you know me more than the people in my life. I had an option to go to another state with my parents, but when I told Darren that he broke down, and really lost it. I was offered this because he did something really horrible to me last night through anger.
The thing is, I'm the stronger one in the relationship, and he has nothing except me.
And feeling sorry for someone is no reason to just forgive.

I don't really know what to do. The abuse has caused me to Love him less and less until the point where I had to go.
Now he says he'll change to have me back.
But I don't know now.
I need a long break away from him.
But that's hard for him too, he can barely take care of himself, and he's so lonely without me, do I feel heart ache because I LOVE him, OR because I feel SORRY for the guy?
I don't know.
This is so horrible, I'm in so much pain.

posted May 26, 2005 01:27 AM         

I'm back. new stuff...