posted June 23, 2005 10:20 PM         

Read your post with sympathy.....
You say you have a strong need to be accepted -- well ALL of us do, we need to find others who will like us just the way we are, and LindaLand is an excellent place for just that!

This guy you met three years ago and experienced an incredible connection with came into your life for a reason -- to raise your frequency, to expand your perceptions. It could be postulated that this is karma returning to you.....

In a manner of speaking it seems like he "spoiled" you -- for who that you have met has compared to him? Yet should we really indulge our human nature to compare and judge and rate and label? The men you are meeting after this incredible connection are different, not lesser; and I feel we owe it to each other not to judge by preconceived notions or standards.....

In another manner of speaking, it seems to me that you are still in the grieving process: "someone" has "died" -- the connection you felt is dissolved, possibly never to return again in this lifetime. Yet it's natural to consciously (or unconsciously) search for something/someone to replace that sense of fulfillment you got from this "teacher" you met, that is now missing in your life. It's hard to fill the empty holes like that -- yet the only thing that can fill those holes is understanding and acceptance and letting go.....

You write: "my self confidence increased whenever i was around him lately i have an extreme lack in that department". Self-confidence comes from only one place: Self. You are projecting (or what might be called transferrence) the ability to cause you to have self-confidence onto another entity, when in reality it has always come from inside you -- I would venture to say that he allowed/encouraged you to be the best that you can be, and you stretched your wings for him/because of him. You give him credit for something YOU did! I think a change in perspective is all that needs to happen here.

You say: "how do i change this am i searching too hard how do i let go its something ive wanted all my life"
Questions for your questions:
ARE you searching? Are you clear what you are searching FOR? Perhaps what you seek is inside you and has been there all along.
WHAT is something you've wanted all your life? Can you clarify this? Only when you know precisely what you are looking for will you be able to search productively.....
How do you let go? By accepting the fact that people will come into your life, have a huge impact, and depart forever. This is a painful step in the process of maturing.

posted June 24, 2005 07:04 PM         

In any case I know what you feel, I have that connection with Aquarius men sometimes, and then they feel it with everyone else,

Or sometimes you feel the connection but not the physical side.
I don't like it when the words are off but the actions are okay, it's hard for a man to get to together to be perfect! Hang in there!

posted June 25, 2005 02:29 PM         

.. i am just paying a flying visit ... so just to say that i took a quick look .. if i did not already mention it ( think i did a while ago 'n another thread ) .. you do have a Neptune to your natal Moon transit .. that can be quite emmotionaly draining ( sorry have not reread this thread though )
.. well i can feel like quite a bit more than that ...
understand u have both Neptune and Uranus transits going on ... i can only surmise the two together must feel at times exceptionaly confusing .. maybe like your in an emmotional tumble drier .. not quite sure if that fits ...
anyhow 'round about now those transits be 'strong' .. and probably a second 'hit' for you ...
at a guess those transits would last about 3 weeks either side of 'exact' .. it probably feels like they are going on forever ..

.. if chart pics would help out .. give a shout ...

posted June 25, 2005 02:38 PM         

.. forgot to mention .. at top of thread you mentioned '3 years ago .. '
well .. 3 years ago u had a major Saturn transit thru your 7th house ...
actualy both Pluto and Saturn were major players .. Saturn was coinjoining by transit your natal Sun and Chiron ( so it would have been a protracted Saturn transit ) .. whilst Pluto was conjoining your natal Saturn ( .. be just that u mentioned 'losing' someone back then ) ..