posted August 17, 2005 05:59 PM         

How do i know when to fight or when to let go?
Remember that first night we met... ohhh.. magic...magic... within a few minutes of talking our heart's were singing and everything felt so right in the world again.I started to believe again, in shooting stars, in fairies,in santa clause, in miracles.In you and me.

But then, after a few days, fear sets in.The fear of gettin hurt, again, or worse the diappointment that awaits. So i hold myself back.And you ask me why i do. Why? Why am i afraid to show you who i am.
I know why, it's because i care what YOU think.... i don't care what they think of me but what YOU think of me. I want so badly for you to be the one who see's me as i wish i was,who i'm trying to be. Does that make sense?

And you say things, things like 'why couldn't i have met you sooner', But worse you said the 'L' word.And did you know it's never meant so much to me as when you said it. Why?

Still i held back. Why couldn't i tell you what was in my heart when you offered yours so trustingly.You told me to believe in you, to have faith, you made me promise that we would make it work. You and your leo words.
Remember that first night,magic, you asked if i was an aries only after a few words, my heart leapt.
'Yes' ,i replied. Finally i had found you, after years of looking, you came right to me.
but of course things happen and something bad happened to us.Just a small bad.You gave up so easily, you and your damn leo pride, me and my damn aries pride.
So now,i need to know, do i fight for you, do i make you believe in us again or don't you even care? Do you still care?

are you a knowing thing or were you just a growing thing.I was so sure you were a knowing thing but now i realise how much i still have to grow.
do i trust the forces that be, cause i don't trust easily, not anymore.
How could life be so cruel, i felt so special.Now i'm filled with emptiness. Empty hopes, empty dreams, empty everything.

goob,please come back to me cause i love you, i do, and Love is All!

posted August 24, 2005 04:34 PM         

Reading this filled my heart with so much sadness. I know so poignantly how you feel. I also was blessed with a sweet love before I was completely ready for it – and the tides carried him away from me before I properly knew how to hang onto him.

My best advice to you is this… be honest with him. You have nothing left to loose at this point. Tell him how much he means to you, and tell him that you are a broken thing, but you will love him and fight for as long as it takes to be good for him. You should never hold yourself back – you deserve to be accepted for all of your fragility and strength. If he cannot look at the shining, beautiful, sad thing your soul is and love you for it then he does not deserve you. But you will regret it forever if you don’t try to hold onto him.

Lay down your pride, dear Aries, and fight for your love.

posted August 24, 2005 05:00 PM         

What more can I say ?

posted August 25, 2005 05:27 PM         

Your advice is exactly what i need.