posted September 06, 2005 09:20 PM         

I know that part of his rebuttal is going to be an all out freak out regarding whether or not we are still going to be able to be friends. I need to redraw the line in the sand, but I want to make sure that he understands where I am coming from. I know that I can't control how he reacts to this or even if he hates me for this, but I hope that he realizes that I am not doing this out of spite. I can't continue to have such an emotional bonding experience with him on such a daily basis and still be stuck in this place where he says he doesn't know when he will be ready or if it will even be me he is ready for.

posted September 09, 2005 07:03 PM         

On Thursday he started with the e-mails again and then started leaving phone messages asking me why I wasn't speaking to him anymore. He kept asking if I was going to treat him like everyone else now and why he wasn't even allowed to joke with me anymore. He left his sales model in the middle of the day, a big no no, to come into the office because he just had to drop off contracts that were already a week old. He never makes trips into the office except for the sales meeting. This is the first time in 6 months that he has dropped in to bring something in. He just had to stand hip to hip with me, touching my hand with his body pressed up against my side as he explained his contracts. Then he just stood there looking at me with the worst expression on his face. I just turned away and he left. 10 minutes tops. I think he thought he could change my mind if he could just see me in person and get in front of me. He kept calling throughout the day until he finally called me a hardass and stopped.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I don't understand. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And it hurts to think that I am hurting him, but I have to take care of me. Why is he freaking out so badly when he had to have seen this coming? Please! Any thoughts would be much appreciated. I don't understand him.

posted September 09, 2005 08:38 PM         

Right now all he is doing is walking all over you, and making you feel guilty. He's the one being a hardass about your decision.

You said you would draw the line in the sand again, maybe you could ask him what he would do if he were you? and tell him to be honest.

Good luck, you made the right choice at the time,

BTW I had to make a similar decision about a Cancer recently. My Cancer and your Scorpio are similar in that they would not stick their necks out but expected us to be there and commit.

My Cancer would see other girls and lie and say he was visiting his mother,
and another girl at work recently started using his expressions and he's out tonight and didn't way where he was going.

Do you really think I will call him again?
Only if i'm a masochist. He wouldn't!

posted September 10, 2005 11:37 AM         

Well here's this Scorp's side---maybe it will help:

My Bull still does not trust me even after everything I have said, every reassurance, every kind word, every declaration. Deep down I know that he is convinced that I will break-up with him again and, despite his words of forgive and forget, a part of him refuses---yes refuses-- to just move on and trust me. What is a person to do?

Now, whenever I so much as talk to anyone else or devote time to others, he questions why I don't want to spend time with him. I do, but I want it to be natural not because someone is being a tad bit *possessive*. The thing is, I completely understand why he feels this way, but it hurts because he is questioning my trustworthiness.

In my circumstance, I have overcome my ego to forge ahead despite his lack of trust and form a deeper bond with him, but perhap's Lulu's Scorp is self-preserving? Maybe he's afraid of giving his heart---which by the way Bull is deep and everlasting--to someone who cannot---really trust--him?

posted September 10, 2005 12:31 PM         

When he said he didn't want you to be hurt if he dates someone else, did you say, "okay" or agree or did you tell him you didn't want that. If you said okay, he may have thought, well it's okay, she understands what I was saying. How did he say it and under what circumstances. Was it hypothetical or was he really dating someone else? Think about it.

posted September 10, 2005 08:38 PM         

How far away is he? I imagine he is quite jealous and just not telling you that part. Sure he's honest but honest emotionally?

I would think if you are too far apart it's hard unless you, the Taurus, makes the effort to work up an agenda, a purpose, a direction towards him and put it to him like that. Say, I have what it takes to move closer to you, what about it?

Do not put it all on him, yet.

First, put yourself out there commit totally in person-dont' do this on the phone,
and see if this would work for him
do it non emtionally, just show him that it could be done, tell him it could work.

if after that he is still confused, he doesn't want to make it work and then you can gradually ease out of the emotional side of the relationship.

Let him date other people, do not date other people yourself for a while until you are sure he knows what he wants, and let yourself hang out with friends for emotional support.

Dating for a man is different, as in it's more social. For you I think you would get more emotionally involved and it's harder for a Taurus to date. dont' force that.

Good luck, because you are trying to make decisions for a "we" that does not exist yet.
When that happens all you can do is make two plans, one for
You, and one for
We

Do not try to think up what he will do on his own. His single life is his own business and don't get caught in the trap of answering the question what if he dates other people??

don't answer him if he asks you that, just say I don't feel comfortable with that thought. He may very well be testing you to make you jealous!

I have a cancer moon and a friend of mine who is a taurus is dating a cancer moon and he makes her jealous constantly. I tell her, I am sure deep down it's a test of some kind, just ignore it and lay out the agenda for him on what he has to do. She does and takes breaks from him.

Still he's always there for her, and still there are the same tests.

I don't know why, cancer moons do this:<

Hopefully he is only testing a bit, and loves you.
If that is the case then he will be really into your plans. But if you can't see yourself moving towards him, be real. long distance relationships are very tough especially for a taurus.

You need that warmth.

posted September 12, 2005 02:39 AM         

quote:

---

He said he didn't need to do anything. That he was fine with all this. That is was me that needed to figure out what I needed to do to be okay.

---

For me personally, this meant exactly what I said. I am okay with the situation the way it is---it's the beginning of a relationship, we are getting to know eachother, we like eachother, things are going fine. In my case, I live in a different city from my guy as well--strange, huh?

One thing I can't understand is why he needs to have everything right now? And why, everytime I give him what he wants, he then steps up the ante even further. Hehehe, I'm just getting used to being exclusive, for example, and the next week we are talking about moving in Part of me just wants this relationship to run on my agenda for a change...I'm working on it with ******* him off--because I really don't want to go through that again

Then, on top of it all--girls get ready--I gave him everything last week. I completely opened my heart up and loved with abandonment (not thinking about anything but Taurus). I was always there--whenever(which was pretty much always as he is very reliable), I tried to understand him without over analysing, I gave him great affection the way he likes it, etc.
Guess what? By the end of the week he was pushing me away and acting all strange. Help!!! I gave him what he has been asking for for ages...

posted September 12, 2005 06:57 PM         

He told me, and his tone of voice did too, that he was ****** at me the other day for acting like such a "hardass". He became demanding and asked if I talk to everyone else that way and that sometimes he doesn't know what to do with me when I am fine one day and not a couple of days later. I told him that the reality is that I am not a hardass, but I felt at the time that I needed to get my point of view across without him trying to talk me out of it and I didn't know how else to do it. That I didn't have a clear understanding of what was going on and how was I supposed to know when I can't read his mind. I then reminded him of his PMS moment that lasted for two weeks prior to this when he could barely be on the phone with me for more than five minutes and wouldn't even joke around. I told him that we both PMS and I would hate to find a man who did know what to do with me all the time. But I also explained that part of our previous conversation still holds true. Our friendship won't be the same because it has been based to much on our attraction for each other. I told him that I don't flirt with people all the time. For us to be "just friends", the flirting has to stop for me to be able to differentiate. He wasn't happy about that. Did I mention that he kept saying "I don't know" the whole time?