posted September 10, 2005 08:55 AM         

I have gone on about my mother here and there on various threads...one of her kinder comments was that she would rather have animals than have children...but I am not going to dredge EVERYTHING up just to prove a point, however, I will say that I found her so dependent/pathetic/nasty that I had no inclination whatsoever to be like her, be interested in anything remotely domestically oriented, or have children of my own, because quite frankly, she disgusted me.

Now I KNOW not all mothers are like this and all I can say is, the children who have a level-headed, unselfish mother and have a good relationship with her, God bless them, because they are indeed blessed, they don't know how lucky they are.

As a result of my upbringing I feel, almost perversely, that I don't have a need for a "mother", a family, or nurturing. Having been married (mistakenly) I realize that I value my independence, and this has nothing whatsoever to do with feminism. At the same time I am proud of various things I have achieved, and if I want to laud my own efforts, there is no law against it. Hey, I might as well give myself praise, if no-one else is going to! And thanks, I don't expect anyone else to give me a medal bar the organisation that is doling them out, in whatever competition I happen to be taking part (and I've won a fair few of those, so yes, I DO know what I am talking about).

Nowhere did I say, or even insinuate, in the post above, that my choice of lifestyle was better, or that other people should follow what I am doing. It works for me, as I personally am terrified of issues such as pregnancy, or prospectively becoming a single mother. But hey - if other people want to do it, let them get on with it.

posted September 10, 2005 09:53 AM         

It’s strange that my mother doesn’t cry, even with a Pisces Moon ( in the very late degrees ). Maybe she doesn’t cry with me around. My Mercury trines her Sun, and her Mercury trines my Sun…so we always talk about our problems.

posted September 10, 2005 10:13 AM         

I apologize if you felt what I said was aimed at you. It wasn't at all. This is one of those times I wish we had PM's on here. I believe you're always honest in everything you post..and I never ever got that vibe from you (the vibe that I was talking about). You fall in the "honestly feels that way" category..not the "I feel the need to assert myself by constantly telling the world how much of a go getter I am while trying to make them feel like they're beneath me for having a different opinion" category. I'd love to give an example, but if I do I'll offend at least two people (one of which hasn't even posted on this thread) and I'd rather not.

And course it's fine to give yourself praise and be proud of your achievemnets.

Again, you're not ONE of those people who are under the impression, that in a relationship context -chasing, being the initiator, sleeping with multiple partners -IS an achievement in itself

And it just isn't. It's a choice.. and like I said anyone can do it.. so what bothers me is when I "know" certain ppl on here and in my real life go on and on about certain things specifically to show of (and they've done it numerous times) NOT because they necessarily actually feel that way..but because, I'm assuming they feel the need to prove themselves..

This paragraph pretty much sums up the type of behaviour I was referring to..

quote:

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But when you try to make it sound as though *your way is better*..I believe that's inaccurate and not very nice. Those are the types of girls, feminists I was talking about. The types who act as though being the initiator ..isn't just a choice, that anyone can make (and it isn't "just fine") BUT better and something to be VERY proud of.. like an accomplishment almost. And something ALL FEMALES should be doing this day in age.. it's almost as if they have a "how dare you not chase and be assertive, that's so beneath women in todays society" attitude. I disagree wholeheartedly..Like I said I believe everyone should do what suits them.

---

AriesT again.. You don't do this.. I've never seen you do this..and I never meant you AT ALL. I'm sorry if what I said offended you.

Hi WN,

My friend doesn't know much about astrology, though I've told her about it and she is interested.. just not *that* interested lol..

It's interesting because if I didn't know her and I saw a pic of her I'd definitely guess that she's a Pisces (she has nice watery blue eyes and wavy blond-ish hair, very piscean looking).. but if I spoke to her for a little while I'd think she's Aries or Gemini.. she has something firey about her. She's very quick witted and very sporty. When you get to know her though, the Pisces side comes out heaps. She's so sweet. She always listens. She gives the best advice and I care a lot about her.

She has Taurus moon though, you have a Virgo moon..but close enough, both earth lol

posted September 10, 2005 06:28 PM         

My apologies...I am being emotional, and somewhat over-paranoid...I'm separating from Mr. Aqua at the end of this week (although he doesn't know this)...and a lot of feelings are coming to the surface that I thought I had gotten rid of...for example, I get paranoid that people are avoiding me because my relationship's breaking up, that kind of thing, stupid, really, I think I just need to get some perspective.

It's like, certain words, or concepts, act like a hair-trigger and off I rant, can't seem to stop myself (wish I could - need a magic potion). I have been doing a lot of editing lately

Anyway, I'm sorry, and I realize now that you didn't mean it in that way.

Pax?

AT

posted September 12, 2005 04:45 AM         

It never happens in real life. I think I've realised, on here, that sometimes I can't convey things in a nice manner unless I have the use of my voice.

I'm glad to hear you're separating from Aqua. He doesn't seem like the right person for you, specially judging by a couple of threads I read where you were saying how he got pretty physically mean sometimes.. I think it's normal that you get a bit paranoid or feel odd about it. You've been with him for years right? It's probably just an adjustment period. I'm sure you'll be very happy you've taken this step in the future..

posted September 14, 2005 11:45 AM         

I completely agree with Gemini Nymph. I don't find that story remotely real and actually find it without wisdom. It was probably written by a man.

I for one DO NOT CRY (for the reasons mentioned below) anymore. I have been previously hurt multiple times in love and by life itself and even though I did cry when I was younger, have learned that tears do not and will not help me nor will they soothe me.

Why should people stop crying for these reasons:
1. Sad movies or books - (bah!)don't mean to sound sarcastic but just think of where these actors/actresses/producers/writers are right now. They are probably somewhere in the carribean enjoying our $$$. Why cry?
2. in love - I have always contend that no man on this earth is worth my tears. The one man who deserves it does not make me cry.
3. life/death - well... every living thing is going to die at some point in time, and that includes me. Just a normal turn of life. Sooner or later, we all get there. Nothing to cry about. Instead, celebrate the memories of the person's life.
4. someone hurting us - I would much rather laugh about it because I refuse to let these people win. I figure if I cry, they win. I laugh and I win.
5. disappointments - my tears will not save/solve my disappointments. I would rather just get up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

This post is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings. Just a different point of view.

Miss Muffet

posted September 14, 2005 12:02 PM         

The very same thought occurred to me "it was written by a man"

posted September 16, 2005 08:43 PM         

But, there is that nasty little gremlin known as testostorone, which is found at much higher levels in mens than it is in women, and it makes for severity in action and in word. This means violence. If men are not well adjusted enough to use testosterone productively in a moment of emotional intensity, (other than sex - their only real outlet), then we're all better off if they supress them. I'm not saying that it's good that men supress their emotions, I'm saying if the men on the planet today all decided to be moved by their emotions like women are, there would be alot more violence, due the the gremlin, testosterone. Testosterone is the survival instinct hormone. True fact. Some might even argue that, rather than money, testosterone it is the root of all evil (I've read that, in some obscure essey).

Estrogen, on the other hand, is all about subjectivity and creation. I'm drawing a blank to explain estrogen, but I hope you get my thesis on testosterone anyway.

posted September 16, 2005 10:04 PM         

Hmmmm... pondering...

Gemini Nymph, applause for you. I couldn't agree more.

*I went on a rant here, but I'll leave it at that.*

posted September 23, 2005 12:21 PM         

quote:

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Feminism says "women and men are equal" (and they are)..but how exactly does copycating men and absolutely everything they do "prove" that? Isn't that kinda just reinforcing the fact that women think men are superior..if they feel the need to copycat them and be as masculine as possible to prove themselves..

---

quote:

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don’t get that. A guy can sleep around as much as he want, it’s even encouraged. A female does the same…and how does she get treated?
Females should be allowed to do as they please ( even if it’s considered "masculine" ), without getting criticised for it.

---

posted September 23, 2005 02:44 PM         

And if you dont cry at all......then I am sure you are courageous in other ways !!!

posted September 25, 2005 02:36 AM         

girl you have got it going.

i get into so much sh!t coz i believe what u said basically....

what is wrong with being a 'feminist'? why is that word uglier than a 'male chauvinist?'

if it werent for women who called themselves feminists, we wouldnt have the right to vote, the right to work! the right to property or anything!

so step up the plate. if you believe you should be treated EQUALLY then dont be ASHAMED of being called a feminist. im sure not! a label will not make me ugly. anyone can call me anything. i believe i deserve to be treated right, with the same respect and love i give men. and if they want to apply 'different rules' or 'labels' or 'stereotypes' to me then they are not worth a rats @ss to me. really. this is why aqua and taurus men are so lovely, becoz they are progressive!

in every generation in every era there have been men who have actively faught against womens right. then there are the do-gooder suck ups who are 'queasy' about it--they cant justify chauvinism by LOGIC but they think it 'feels wrong' because of their own personal opinions. it doesnt matter which of the above groups you belong to. if you, get out of our way and let us make progress.

i have nothing against MEN. i have something against BOTH MEN AND WOMEN Who hamper the progress of womens rights.

btw there is no such thing as 'separate but equal' as the US courts have ruled in racial cases. women are equal period.

posted September 25, 2005 12:55 PM         

They are now divorced, and the Cappy Mom doesn't put up with any gender biased nonsense in her new marriage. I'm very proud of her!

Gemini Dad is remarried to a new woman who (actual quote from him), "...is a good girl that gets up every morning at 5 AM to cook his breakfast and start on her chores." Gawd I'm glad he lives all the way in Minnesota!

My hubby is one of the least chauvinistic men I know. He shares in our housework. His daily jobs around here are load/unload the dishes and keeping up on the laundry.

My daily jobs are cooking and picking up. I typically do all of the weekly scrubbing stuff myself because I am picky. I like things to be done a certain way, so the only way to get them done my way is to do them myself.

I'm SUPER picky about the kitchen floor and sink, for example. I'm actually a little nuts about my sink. Its stainless steel. Stainless can look really crappy if it isn't maintained well... so I scrub it with Comet and polish with stainless polish 2-3 times a week. I do my kitchen floor by hand 2-3 times a week too. I'm , I know.

Basically, my point is... If I weren't so damned picky about *how* things get cleaned, I know hubby would do more. BUT, compared to most men in marriages, he does a helluva lot.

(He also does a lot with the kids... homework, general parenting, bedtime rituals, *sometimes* he even cooks... as long as there is something simple to make in the house, otherwise, its on me... which is fine, because I like to eat yummy food that isn't typically simple or out of the box. )

Anyhow, I think his Dad's example was a learning experience in how NOT to do things. He certainly didn't turn out anything like him. Thank God(dess)!

posted September 25, 2005 04:17 PM         

You make me feel like a slob - LOL.......I am terrible and do as little as I can...I have never polished my sink, ever...do you think me terrible.....

I think my mind is on other things.....LOL !!!

posted September 25, 2005 05:00 PM         

I think I'm a little nuts

I like things to be sparkly/shiny and pretty... so a bright silver sink that is dull and yucky will drive me out of my mind.

I usually just scrub it up while I'm cooking dinner.

I also do the floor by hand while dinner's going. My kitchen's pretty small, and it dries quickly when I do it by hand. I just can't stand stuff sticking to my feet. The feeling makes me p!ssy.

Don't get me wrong... I'm no neat freak! I am a total Libra

I don't dust or scrub my bathroom very often... and OMG you should see my room!

posted September 25, 2005 10:24 PM         

However, many of them yearn for something more conservative. I have two Taurus friends who are Republican single mothers who claim they'd like to be in a traditional relationship. One has been married three times. So they are progressive, but also conservative.

posted September 26, 2005 01:09 AM         

am i not allowed to have my personal favorites anymore?