posted September 16, 2005 01:40 PM         

I despair sometimes of ever finding a man like that. I watched a bird today on a busy sidewalk and left him there, watching me warily. I wonder if that bird and I were meant to be a good fit? That could be the closest to love I will ever be.

I did meet a man at work who had a fish for two years that died this week. It was his constant companion at his desk, why he couldn't be available to me I just don't know.

Anyway, good luck to you all in your search for love, for myself I am sticking with small animals

Must be my sixth house sun,

posted September 16, 2005 02:43 PM         

I truly understand how you feel though, Natasha. I can’t help but look at the world and its people (and creatures) with compassion. It’s hard for me to understand how people can spend their lives focused on their own needs alone. Then again, my chart has most of my planets fixed in the Achievement stage of my chart which is primarily focused outward on those I share this planet with. I found this guide educational:

http://www.geocities.com/wilsontctc/Step_1_Inner_and_outer_focus.htm

I used this to chart many of the people I know personally, and even checked a few charitable people in history and it seems that most people that focus their care outward like you have the largest portion of their planets in Achievement, Maturity, or to a lesser extent Development stages of their chart. You might want to check your own chart, and watch for similar the placements of potential mates.

posted September 16, 2005 03:38 PM         

The best idea would have been to move it to a grassy area, but then it may rain and flood, so I would have to build a nest and fill it with worms, more than I could deal with today as it's my last day at work before I start a new job monday.

In the future, maybe now I will know what to do, after every big storm there are many birds such as this, at least I know what to do, but yes it does break my heart when I feel powerless.

posted September 20, 2005 03:36 PM         

So I tried to grab it and it hopped away. Then a construction worker came by with a rag and offered to get it for me.

So he got it and I bought it back up where I know its mother would be.

The guy told me that not many people would stop and do that and said God bless you to me.

About a couple of months ago I discovered 3 baby mice in my house. The mom had a nest. My mother said get that thing out of here.

They were 3 tiny babies. Eyes weren't even opened yet. Sooo cute.

My mother already knew what I was up to. She said throw them away.

I told her that me throwing them away is like taking a new born baby and dumping it in the garbage.

I fed them milk for about 3 days and left them where I knew the mother would find them. She took them back.

Thank god.

Thet were so cute I wanted to hump them on site

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

"You must live in the infinite blackness that exists when I close my eyes. I see you when I fall asleep, I see you when I dream."

posted September 20, 2005 04:16 PM         

oy, i am sorry to hear of the romance woes. i can tell you try really hard and explore different rationales and attempts from reading your posts here over the past couple of years.

i hope the other parts of your life are working out better. you amaze me sometimes with all the stuff you do in your life. like taking care of your family and business.

as for things out here, i am taking just taking it easy at home. i was laid off from the investment banking firm and by default had decided to hang out and be introspective for a while. my mum was kind to pay for a vacation out on the mexican riveria and i got to go on a number of expeditions. next month i am spending a week in NYC to visit art museums and go to concerts.

i was living way, way too fast in the past 4 years. i couldn't really stay interested in anybody long enough, or just hooked up with the wrong guys. right now, i am thinking to myself, girl you did way too much and much too fast. may be it is just the aries in me? life was zoom, zoom, zoom. i was also depressed and didn't know what to do about it because everything else around me kept going at top speed. the weird part is, i don't feel that i've necessarily crashed. i am not looking to, but it feels as though may be there is something out there looking out for me. like a guardian angel.

gosh, i feel like i made a rude splash on your thread. i am sorry if i did! i read this and thought, gosh may be you're feeling that nobody really takes care of you or looks out for your best interests. and being alone. i related to that and started replying.

my moods are sort of all over the place and focused at the same time (mercury in aries conjunct venus in pisces, both sextile moon in capricorn).

ciao,

posted September 21, 2005 01:00 AM         

hey natasha
i think its the thought that counts........even if u cud not do anything about it........u still thought about it........which was really sweet........n it breaks my heart too when i feel powerless