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Author
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Topic: when to get married
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cynicalpsychic
Knowflake Posts: 35
From: osaka, japan
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 10:30 AM
 
i've found my soulmate. :-) it's all happened so fast, but i know that we're perfect for each other (or at least that we have the ability to work things through in the ways that we are not so perfect...)
anyway, the one major complication is that he's japanese and i'm american. right now we are both in japan, but we wanted to live in the us starting next year (preferably spring or summer.). i've been looking at the visa info and one thing that we might have to do is get married *very* quickly. i mean, i knew that it was quick to get married if we were just going to do it before we went to the states, but with the things that i'm reading, it might make things a lot easier if we've been married for more than 6 months when we apply for the visa. which would mean we'd have to get married within the next month.
can anyone recommend days for us to get married? especially within the next month, but if anyone strongly suggests that we should wait longer, then i may heed that advice...
me: feb. 14, 1977 3:57pm in rochester, ny
him:sep. 10, 1976 8:30am in nara, japanmuch much love and thanks!!
love,
shannon IP: Logged |
Gemini Nymph
Knowflake Posts: 1000
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 11:07 AM
Well, if you are as cyncial and Uranian as I am, you wouldn't even consider marriage in the first place. And espcially in a culture that is still as a patriachal as Japan (no offense to Japan, but I have Japanese friends that often joke with me about how no Japanese man would EVER marry me because of my Uranian attitudes about marriage and women's roles in society). I can't say when would be a good time to get married since I'm primarily a psychological astrologer, but I will strongly advise you two to be pre-marriage consuling ahead of time. If that means waiting longer, then hey. Better to go into this prepared than not. I'm not singling you out as I advise all couples to do this - even though I do find it litte curious that this US Aqua female would so willingly want to marry this Japanese Virgo man. You both have cardinal moons that square each other by sign - there's fundamental disagreement on a very inner, intimate level. With how your Plutos apsect the other's chart, I think you two really do need to sit down with a impartial third party and discuss very openly how each of you view your future marriage, of what you want out of this marriage, and of what you expect of your future spouse. I'm not saying you're doomed from the start, but communication is critical to any marriage, and so best get that sqaured away. It's ceratinly better than finding yourselves wallowing in disappointment and resentment 6 months after the honeymoon. IP: Logged |
Gemini Nymph
Knowflake Posts: 1000
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 13, 2005 11:15 AM
BTW, since you used the language, I will be very frank: I don't think he's your soulmate. That's my astrological opinion, and you can blow me off if you wish. But the aspects that indicate strong, soulmate-type spiritual connections...I don't really see it. There's a lot of Pluto activity - but Pluto isn't really a "soulmate" planet. I know that Linda thought Pluto-Venus aspects were soulmatish, but I happen to disagree. This is why: When in aspect with moon or Venus (you two have both), Pluto can be extremely intense and magnetic,and its presence in the relationship may even feel spiritual as Pluto tends to have a profound psychological impact. But Pluto is a power player: it lacks the equality, power balance and mutual respect of "soulmate" connections. It wants to control, own and dominate, and when in aspect of more receptive planets like moon and Venus, the power imbalance is very great. In these aspects Pluto engulfs the moon or Venus, giving at first the feeling of the moon/Venus person being "lost" or overtaken in the other, which can be very romantic. But if the relationship begins to turn sour, this Pluto influence can easily turn to obsession, controlling behavior and even abuse (by the Pluto person). I am not trying to scare you, just being frank. But of course, this is only my perspective, and I don't claim to be an absolute authority. So take from it what you will. IP: Logged |
Cardinalgal
Knowflake Posts: 227
From: Lincoln, UK
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 14, 2005 07:08 AM
Hiya I'm curious 
What would you consider to be soul mate connections Gemini Nymph? IP: Logged |
GemStar
Knowflake Posts: 705
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 14, 2005 09:42 AM
Consider your REASONS for getting married...just to make it easier for a VISA?You have a lot of stressful Pluto connections....Pluto can be great I feel--- but in moderation, otherwise it can be too much stress to sustain lengthy relationships. Also make sure you are not confusing sex with lust/love. They can initially feel similar-HOWEVER, many, many people make this mistake and think good sex=love=marriage. This is an important PART of marriage and love, but only a percentage. Consider not 'rushing' for convenience sake...there is more than one way to get a VISA to the USA for him. No need to make this hasty decision for the sake of convenience...not very wise in the long-term. Besides, you will want to see how the relationship progresses on your Home Territory...cultures will be vastly different and may affect one or both of your attitudes toward each other. Remember---you are on his Home Turf now....take your time and make sure you make GOOD decisions...not hasty and most likely, unnecessary choices. Good Luck! IP: Logged |
SecretGardenAgain
Knowflake Posts: 559
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 15, 2005 01:39 AM
cardinalgal, i dont mean to sound like patronizing, and ur case may be entirely different from mine, but i did marry a guy (paper/legal marriage only to get him a Visa to the US, like in ur case), and he ended up being the biggest abusive SOB ever, i dumped his sorry @ss faster than you could say triple virgo...which he was...yes it was an arranged marriage and thus different from yours, but we were still friends and i thought this man was totally different from what he turned out to be! btw his sign isnt enough u will need to know his moms sign too! im telling u, those asian cultures can have brutal mother in law roles...and my ex virgo totally had an oedipal complex going on, thank god im out of that mess. now i am going for arabs  coz they are sexier, same religion and similar culture as mine, very romantic and appreciative, practical, handsome, and they NEVER live with their moms. also, i dont believe in providing a man status that he didnt have. sharing is okay, but i guess to me that is not sharing, i risked it once, im not again. Love
SG IP: Logged |
Cardinalgal
Knowflake Posts: 227
From: Lincoln, UK
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 15, 2005 07:23 AM
Um...last time I looked I wasn't getting married so I think you might mean cynicalpsychic SG   IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3664
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 16, 2005 08:39 AM
Hey CardinalgalAre you SURE the marriage thing isnt gonna be upon you soon girl ??????? ******************************** Jeez you Gemini girls are certainly very...........sharp..........arent ye ?   xxx IP: Logged |
GemStar
Knowflake Posts: 705
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 16, 2005 09:59 AM
"One moment of patience may ward off great disaster...
...One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life."
Tread lightly Sue......very lightly.
"Caution is the eldest child of wisdom."
GemStar-- A Gemini Woman
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Cardinalgal
Knowflake Posts: 227
From: Lincoln, UK
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 16, 2005 10:22 AM
Hmmm Sue... do you know something I don't? IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 3664
From: ireland
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 16, 2005 11:07 AM
Gemstar......thanks for the warning....... 
Cardinalgal......I dont know anything.....hahaha.......but YOU do.....LOL......
xxx
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SecretGardenAgain
Knowflake Posts: 559
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 16, 2005 09:25 PM
LOL Cardinalgal im so sorry . boo me, i just called lovely an aries too. i think someone needs to b!tchslap me out of my deluded gemini daydreams like right NOW. well whether you like it or not, we're all getting you married off. SORRY YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO BE A WOMAN AND TAKE IT OK. Love
SG IP: Logged |
Cardinalgal
Knowflake Posts: 227
From: Lincoln, UK
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 17, 2005 07:30 AM
*Stands up, back straight, shoulders back, chin up and bust thrust forward ready to take it like a woman...* watch it btw or I'll have your eye out with that bust of mine! It's lethal!! I have to cross 2 time zones to put me bra on in the mornings! Hope you lot are right though, as it would be rather lovely! Still, I loves my Aqua no matter what I guess, so getting married or simply living in glorious sin is fine by me!  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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SecretGardenAgain
Knowflake Posts: 559
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted October 17, 2005 10:01 PM
ooh u got an aqua  i want me one too.  share the wealth its about time i let go of my aqua fetish Love
SG IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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