posted October 24, 2005 01:12 PM           

How are you doing girl?

posted October 24, 2005 04:07 PM           

That's interesting. I agree with Tink (hi!) that it works both ways. I have a strapless dark red short dress with a corset discreetly sewn inside (heaven bless Ralph Lauren (a man ), along with knee high dark red leather boots (heaven bless Salvatore Ferragamo, another man ). It was picked out for a date on Saturday night, but he flaked. Ah well.

To each their own. Natasha, I've read a few times about how you have (it seemed) gone out of your way to woo a man. I read about how you spent several thousand dollars on a Gemini man in one summer (or several seasons, I don't recall). Was he romantic to you in the way you wanted? What ended up happening, I am curious to know now, but only if you are comfortable with talking about it. I think he wanted you to dye your hair blonde and had some baggage with an ex-girlfriend (Cancer Sun?). Anyhow, just sharing that I understand where you are coming from and feel that people can and should exercise whatever feels right to them within sanity and general respect. Just expect some questions. I too, have come across the dynamic you speak of by certain men wanting to pursue women who have something to give them (like status, connections, etc), in addition to looking good and a chance for them to be show-offs.

Wasn't Sue talking about waiting for a bit before having sex with a man? How did it get into giving "samples"? The only other person I have ever heard use a similar phrase ("preview" ) was a man with Gemini in his personal planets.

Snacks are fattening

posted October 25, 2005 09:01 AM           

Natasha, you were saying about how status impresses some men - if you look at it like that, I guess I could impress guys by my skill, but not my current earning power (although my POTENTIAL earning power is theoretically huge )

So, where does one fit in??? What do men want? It varies so much but I think it's up to them to tell you what they want. Most guys over 30 that have never been married do seem to want kids (and most that are single after 40 are usually separated and have kids and regret the whole episode). I suppose in that way there is that romantic ideal there, of settling down with one person, creating a nest etc. I would be more into simply merging with someone whom I LOVED, and was genuinely passionate about - I realize now that has always been the case - that would be enough for me. Where I'm coming from is quite complicated, because I would love to be in a relationship with someone I was crazy about, where we might have to be apart some of the time but were TOTALLY committed - but NOT marry them unless they were free of in-laws/family members - been there, done that, and I don't ever want to do it again.

I'd be hesitant to have a fling, because there's a voice inside me telling me I'm a nice girl, and don't do that sort of thing; I'd be concerned about lack of respect from guys if I had a series of relationships. For that reason I'm cautious, and can't let myself go before I've totally sussed s/o out; I need to ask myself the question: do I want to share myself entirely with this person? At the moment I prefer being friends, because then good feeling is not lost. Not to say that I don't have the same desires as everyone else, but it is important to me to have quality in my relationships, I don't just want to "knock around" with anybody, or waste my or their time. Being friends can often enable one to get the best out of guys without having to resort to the complications of a sexual relationship, and by God, it can get complicated, it is a completely different ball game. My husband was the first person I ever slept with, I had a nasty reaction when we stopped using condoms, either I had a semen allergy or he gave me thrush, which I now cannot get rid of for the life of me. How the hell do I explain this to future partners??? I don't want to transmit anything to them, likewise, I don't want to be the unconscious recipient of anything they might be carrying. Quite honestly, when you get down to that level, the nitty gritty (literally speaking) of bodily functions...it's not romantic any more. So for that reason I wonder whether romance is in the mind, like sue g indirectly implies - it's part of the chasing, part of the flirtation, there is something very pure about it that isn't necessarily present in sex.

posted October 25, 2005 09:29 AM           

Dont the majority of men chase after SCORPIO women....hahahahaha.........??!!!????

posted October 25, 2005 10:06 AM           

Aphrodite and Ariestiger, here's my point of view right now regarding dating.

(I tell myself and hear this from Leo and Aries women at work) I do think it's up to the woman to take charge and let a man know how to please/appease her, especially arian women. Know the direction you want to go in, flirtation only, or friendship, know restaurants you would both like, know places to go, have a restaurant for flirtation and one for friendship. Try both, try lots of diferent places and events and ask the man out so the pressure is off.

By asking the man out you can say, let's go out as friends, because I enjoy your company, once he asks you, it has to be decided where to go, and if he decides he may choose a romantic place when you both want friendship. Men are not so great at hinting or being romantic in a subtle way. Normally they will tell you on the date what they want, bluntly, as in sex, or love, or marriage, or more kids. It seems aries driven women get very blunt men, so the romance machine has to be driven by us.

Maybe men chase water women because they like to be chased and that's what they attract? There are men who tease and woo me, they don't want to chase me, they just tease, flirt, run away, and tease somemore.

It can drive you Crazy!!!!!!! If you are emotionally driven and not familiar with dating.

Now I don't get as confused as before, and flirt a little and offer a lunch. If that goes well then a dinner and a drink, as for paying I say would you like to take us..out...to X?

If a man is very blunt, he will say I want a woman to move in with and have my babies, or I want a woman who is my best friend. or I want a beautiful woman to stand next to me. Everyone is different and you have to listen, because the ideals do not change. I can't put my ideal on anyone either, so I have learned to listen carefully.

The Gemini had Venus in Cancer, and I have Mercury in Gemini/7th house. I get very confused when I get mixed signals and like a lot of Water Venus' he really wanted a baby/wife but couldn't express it verbally. So he would say one thing, flirty and unattached forever..but his actions, the women he chose said something else. He would get sick and want me to take care of him...but act as if he didn't need me later...

Because I was very inexperienced at what I wanted, I was into the free sample method. I would give out a sample of kissing and if that man was wild about me then he would show it, in actions, such as heating up the car for me, dropping me off at the curb, being sweet and considerate (like my libra ex).

I didn't imagine everyone is different in their methods of showing affection. The Gemini said he was crazy about me but never did these things, instead he wanted a woman to live with him and have his babies. Very confusing because I am used to being wooed a while before this statement.

NOw I have dated many men I know that the script doesn't change. The Aquarius I am dating has Venus opposite Pluto and Venus is in Pisces trine Neptune.

Very romantic guy and wants a beautiful woman to have his babies. How do I know? Well I don't but I have to accept some sort of script in his head, and he has two daughters he adores and his friends keep asking me when I am expecting! So there is a clue.

Another clue is that he loves beauty and his ex wife a Sag, is very beautiful. however she left him for another mean so his ideal has been hurt. Regardless that's his ideal and so I need to keep close to it to avoid bumps and arguements at this point when I just want to get to know him. I can be myself but I can't try to change too rapidly. as in doing my hair another colour.

I told him yesterday that he has to keep an open mind about love and sex, and remember that I am not a woman who hurt him. He is over worked right now so I will take a clue and take him to a show next week.

And I will ask him to pay as that's what the man does and it makes me feel romantic. Before I would get confused on this because air signs don't like to talk much about romantic ideals, or sex roles, and to me the money thing has been understood for so long I forgot. BUT the Libra has money problems towards the end so I paid some of the time. I can come off too motherly that way and I need to remember my role-girlfriend, not mother!

In the end I have found men really want the man/woman traditional roles, especially the over 30 crowd. My friend is dating a 22 year old and he cooks and cleans for her and he is very much in love with her even at 34. No doubts there. Though it's refreshing, it's not going to be the same for an older man.

As for children, Aries tiger, it's normal for men to have children, as long as the relations with the ex are civil, and they don't have custody 100% of the time you can date and be romantic. Problems with the children mean big problems for you. I am resigned to the fact that older men without children are usually either just out of a relationship, or don't like traditional relationships. problem with that is the who is going to pay thing-dont' want that to be an issue right now for me.

AT-in the end you will have to date many people to get an idea of what you like, and then what you want. Don't be afraid, and you dont' have to get too tangled up in his personal life. Visit his house, be warm, but don't get intimate-into his head.

As for getting physical I don't know it must be my Gemini I just can't take it when a man is very cold to me, or bad kissers. I spent too much time with the Libra who was like that and words are great but a man who can't kiss you like he feels it, is not into me.

And if you got to the end of this, sex outside of a committed relationship, doesn't have any real benefit that I can see.

Maybe I am naive in that sense, but it's how I feel right now. That irritates my Aqua sometimes, but it's the battle that has to be fought.

posted November 02, 2005 05:55 PM           

quote:

---

"When you take your baby to a park to sit in the sun, do you automatically think, sex or love?"
I hope you don't mean a child but a "baby" as in " my baby love". Otherwise it's disturbing

---

Lmfao

------------------
Gemini sun, Cancer rising, mercury in Gemini, moon in Taurus *29, venus in Taurus, mars in Libra

posted November 03, 2005 12:01 PM           

It's been over a year and a half since my ex boyfriend and I broke up. I get really sad sometimes for not having someone with me (having written some posts expressing it), and other times I think being single is a blessing.

For the time being, I am putting romance & dating on the backburner. I have been focusing my energy on networking and finding a new job. Already have the career vision, just have to find (or it finds me!)that one place to get the ball rolling.

. . .

Well, wish me luck on my job search! (Or any advice, will gladly listen to it too). I am so thankful for having wonderful family members and friends being supportive in this time of my life (they have basically covered food and entertainment ~ totally unexpected for me!). Even strangers have been kind too.

posted November 03, 2005 12:33 PM           

It's good to have a work buddy, someone you can talk to each week about your careers. Travel and network as much as you can and surround yourself with smart people.

I know what you mean about dating-which is the act of receiving gifts in consideration of giving your affections-it's too much mental work right now for me too. Why not put that energy into fighting something bigger?

What kind of career track do you enjoy? Have you thought about people you know who are happy in their career? I have a posterboard with pictures of what I want on the wall. Everytime I find a new idea, I put it up-so far there are lots of strong confident and happy women there. Is having a good time at your workplace a factor?

I think to me I like being surrounded by people who are smart, funny, and confident of their skills-that means more training.

In a nutshell I worked with several companies this summer and I prefer to intern without pay if I can get the experience-it's really easy to get into what I call the secretary track, at any firm, no matter what it's called. I paint and sell my artwork to finance my search-for stimulating work.

Dating for me gives me exposure to what others think of my artwork, but I don't need to sell all the time, because then I am caught up in being a salesperson and I don't enjoy myself-

posted November 04, 2005 04:58 PM           

Good luck with your job search too! I am sending happy thoughts and hope that something perfect comes along your way.

I have been interviewing a few times every week. The ones that I really would like to have an opportunity to work in, are rare positions. But they are what I want to do and what would help me out the most are having outstanding people giving referrals to companies with potential. And even when I find a good referral ~ he or she doesn't know where there might be positions. But I love to talk and that's a really good thing because even if something doesn't work out, I get a conversation going and learn something new. So it's becoming a long cycle - and I was already coached by a mentor to expect this to happen. I am pursuing with my own and networking efforts, and praying that the Universe opens up and sends it soon.

To give an idea of where I'd like to work, here are two company websites:

www.siemensventurecapital.com

www.netqos.com

I really like the idea of your bulletin board. I personally am a little lazy to go out and buy one ~ but if I did, it would have a picture of a middle-aged African American man named, John Thompson

Talking with smart people is a great idea too. I totally know what you mean and it keeps my mind up and on its toes.

Unfortunately, I am supporting myself and don't have sufficient means or significant outside support to pursue an internship venture. I would totally do it if I could, but I really can't.

Just talking helps. You're wonderful at that.

Thanks!

posted November 07, 2005 04:06 AM           

quote:

---

I was into the free sample method

---

posted November 10, 2005 10:42 AM           

When its that deep and that intense it leaves you lying vulnerable on the slab.

Telling a woman how you feel and being honest about your feelings has NEVER worked out well for me or most men that I know.

People cannot handle that kind of honesty. It what they want to want but not to have.

Does this sound cynical? Maybe....

posted November 10, 2005 11:01 AM           

You will look back one day and think "was that really me saying those things"......honestly you will man........

posted November 10, 2005 05:33 PM           

Cheers sweetheart.

posted November 11, 2005 12:17 AM           

I understand that some people do not judge emotions but it is better to keep strong emotions back for a a month or two.

Natasha