posted November 11, 2005 09:46 AM         

I just wanted to know how and what you felt when you met your future husband/wife....its important for me to know and this isnt just to start off a topic of discussion...

Ive been going thru some things lately, which i would love to share later...when iam sure...but i just wanted support and someopinions which could help me in taking a decision.

How did you feel when you met "the one" and it continued to be the most positive relashionship in the future? Did you feel shocked, numbed, detached, happy, blissful? What made you feel that this person was THE person?

Would really love to know!

Thanks!

posted November 11, 2005 06:03 PM         

I have a theory that many people can only experience one or two truly sweeping, all consuming realizations of “The One.” I think it often happens when we’re young, and still very trusting. For me, my second boyfriend was my most powerful meeting. My eyes were drawn to him from across the room in a club. The first time he talked to me I felt like my heart was going to burst, it was beating so fast. When he kissed me for the first time I shook, and when he told me he loved me I cried. It felt like a dream. When he proposed to me, I said yes with out any hesitation. There was no doubt in my mind that he was “The One” for me. There was so much synchronicity in our lives, and so much natural empathy and love. He was everything I’d ever hoped for in a man, and I loved him thoroughly, completely, and with every ounce of my soul for seven years. I knew some of my greatest joys with this man – and some of my greatest sorrows. It’s like every emotion was heightened with him – young love is like that I think. I felt my heart swell to proportions I couldn’t imagine, and felt it ripped out of my chest and trod upon. It was too much really, and we weren’t mature enough to deal with it all. Our story does not have a fairy tale ending, although I would still call it a happy one. In my case, romantic relationship with my “One” ended, but our friendship remains. He showed me just how difficult and wonderful love can be, and taught me how to truly love someone. That’s something you can only learn by loving (and sometimes loosing). Nothing can prepare you for just how difficult love can be, nothing but experience can make you strong enough to hold onto it. So no, I didn’t ride off into the sunset with my “One” but I walked with him for a time, learned from him, and became a better more whole person.

Since my first real love experience, I haven’t been able to throw myself into love, or the idea of the “One” with the same reckless abandon I did with the first. I think for me, I’ve realized that nothing is guaranteed to last forever. I think I’m a bit more jaded, less trusting, and perhaps a bit more wise. The manner of my meeting with my wonderful Cancer man was almost identical to my first love. My eyes were drawn to him from across a crowded club. When he approached me later that night I was giddy and a bit jubilant, but doubtful at the same time. I figured he’d end up being just another fellow I couldn’t connect with. I was so wrong. I ended up talking and dancing with him all night. Much like my first man, things felt dream like with him. Unlike my first though I felt safe with him. Even though I barely knew him, I felt comfortable enough to rest my forehead on his shoulder while we danced. When he kissed I felt like my legs were going to give out. Since those first wonderful days, he’s given me something no other man has and that is a peaceful and serene relationship. I’m giddy with him, but somehow the extremes of emotion are lacking. I love him with all my heart, but I don’t feel the need to confine him. We don’t argue. Not at all. Thus far we haven’t had one misunderstanding that wasn’t worked out in less than five minutes. We seem to naturally understand one another. The thing that holds me back now is fear of loosing him. I can’t surrender myself to love and have faith this relationship was destined for me just yet. For me, this time around, I don’t think I’ll truly know if he’s my “One” for the long haul until a few years down the road. One day I’ll wake up next to him in bed, look over and realize “this is going to be the one that lasts.”

posted November 12, 2005 04:33 AM         

For example, I saw my first love coming down a flight of stairs while we were in college. I had never seen him before. I seriously only glanced at him for a split second and for some strange reason I just knew that I would be with him. I didn't even know who he was.

A month later, I get a job in the tutorial lab and am assigned to the desk of someone who works evenings and I was working days.

I finally met my deskmate a couple weeks later. Yep, the same guy who I saw for a split second walking down the stairs. We had a torrid love affair for a year. It eventually went bad (was young), but we were friends for years.

The second time this happened, I just happen to notice the new guy at work get on the elevator. Same thing--I just knew--but I dismissed the thought because I was involved with someone. A year later, number two and I moved into together.

This last time, I heard a voice and thought--I'm going to be with him. Didn't even see a face. Months later, a chance meeting with the same guy and we got together. Happy for the most part, intense but worth it in a strange way.

posted November 14, 2005 05:03 AM         

The reason i wanted to know actually lies in another thread here. A virgo guy i met abt 5 months back...

The very first time i met him i felt as tho my work was done, that i neednt try so hard cos everything was fixed and will work out in time and that he was the one. Well during our interactions and the way the previous thread ended, i was ****** off and didnt know whether he was flirting, fooling around or serious.

But things have sort of changed quite abit since then. We have had terribly crazy, scary sort of 'co incidences'....like i go thru the door and hes coming out, i am going up the stairs and hes coming down and all this when we are in totally different office buildings. The last time we had that coicidence he said 'u keep meeting me wherever i go?'. I was so stunned i couldnt reply.

All practical aspects aside iam totally shocked at my feelings. I mean we havent even gone out and i dont know anything abt how he feels but whenever i meet him the feeling i have is of going TOTALLY numb with some sort of an emotion which is SO strong that i dont know how to describe it. Its overwhelming. Its making me detached from my world, it makes me wanna cry but its so good and warm and shocking!I dont know why i go into realms of shock and it feels as though the other etheric bodies within me are also in the same kind of shock!!!I just dont know what to say and then these coincidences happen and well, iam just not being allowed to forget the man!!!!!!

Its not even that addictive, expectations kind of a feeling....i really dont have much expectation after my previous hurts and its not even that iam drastically physically attracted to the man....its just something so emotional,and so sweet....ive been totally lost, detached and away from the world everytime we meet........so lost...

And he seems that way too. The last time he actually did almost fix up a date if my papers pulled thru and he keeps referring to himself as 'the poor man' in front of me, he's helped me out regarding my papers but he still wont establish contact with me. Thats worrying but iam not worried somehow and i dunno why...? He seems so much his own self, so serious, so concerned and so caring everytime we meet but its crazy bcos none of us will establish that contact?

What do u think abt this? I mean i would love if u could tell me what u think abt the feelings ive been having plus the coincidences? The practical aspect i dont know but its the first time ive had such feelings before.

And i seriously need help i think....

posted November 14, 2005 06:20 AM         

On one hand they are so easy: it's easy to talk to them, there is a feeling of home or comfort, there are moments of reading eachother's mind. The beginning is sublime. As time goes by, however, the real work begins and this is when the lessons are learned.

Lessons learned from *soul mates/ the One* are not easy and can be life-changing. They force you to see parts of yourself you may have been hiding or you end up showing your partner parts of him/herself that they may not want to see. On the other hand, your talents can be enlightened and your purpose revealed.

posted November 15, 2005 02:54 AM         

Yes i need to get back down to earth here. Its just that the feeling is so disorienting that i dont know what to think anymore.

But yeah, everyones got problems to work out in relashionships. Well here we arent even in one but it feels so weird....

Thanks guys! Lets see where fate takes me...

posted November 15, 2005 03:03 AM         

But thinking more on it.....I've thought I've known 'the one' before and things changed.... Maybe we have many ones.....or none. Only ones for the many different moments of our lives. I'm beginning not to believe in just one anymore. .....and that's not a bad thing.

posted November 15, 2005 08:14 AM         

It was on the pretext of me leaving my mobile phone in the building and so went to look for it and there he was again.......

Its scary!!!I wonder whats going on with these coincidences?!!!!!!Does anyone have any such experiance where one has repeatedly come across someone time and again?????????????and how did it proceed frm there?

posted November 16, 2005 05:41 AM         

No, ive already covered that....theres no way he cld plan us meeting on the stairs, or me going outta the door when he's coming in or me getting in my car and he getting into his and noticing each other....????

Its SO weird, its totally freaking me out!!!

Am i like supposed to do something here or just let this stuff happen???

posted November 17, 2005 04:30 AM         

Thanks for the suggestion. I think ill do something, i think i need to.

Bcos up until now its just he who has been hinting at something else to this than just acquaintanceship and ive not said a word on that. He's just skipped the friends part and gone onto an intimate relashionship part. No wonder iam speechless.

Anyways, shall report back if something comes up....

Thanks so much guys!