posted November 20, 2005 08:21 PM         

Here's what I turned up for you. First I did a Lovers Pyramid spread with the Lover's Tarot to address your "fishman resurfacing" question (:smile I should tell you, too, that with this particular deck I don't generally offer my own interpretations. The deck is designed to be used for the very elaborate interpretations the decks author provides. Each card has a different gift or challenge meaning depending on where it lands in the pyramid spread. So...the interpretations I'm giving you here are straight out of the book--not from me. I may make a comment or two here or there, but basically I'm just transcribing the author's words here.

Now in this spread, if the cards, when turned over, are upright, the represent "the gift" and when they are upside down (reveresed) they represent "the challenge."

So, the relationship reads as follows:

About You: The World (reversed, i.e. the challenge)

"Reversed, the World has not lost its glory, but you merely slowed down a little. You are aware that you are approaching a turning point in your life. You may be particularly sensitive to such changes long before they are ready to manifest on the material plane.
The World also has a deeper meaning which is relevant to you now, it symbolizes the penetration of matter by spirit, the alchemical inner marriage. You are responsive to subtle changes within yourself, and yet at present are unable to articulate them. There may be a sense of impatience or urgency in you leading to frustration. And yes, you are on the brink of a brand new cycle, but wishing and hoping cannot bring it into being any faster. Like time itself, it cannot be coaxed or cajoled."

About Your Partner: The Chariot (reversed, i.e. the challenge)

"Your partner could be going through a very negative, destructive phase. This may take one of two paths. Maybe ambition and greed are poisoning this person as he becomes obssessed with success. Alternatively, there may be a totally impractical view of his abilities, or an absurd expectation of fame and fortune. This unrealistic outlook could be leading to experimentation with drugs or excessive drinking.
There is an inability to communicate with you for you are too close and may be perceived as overly-critical. This person is likely to blame others for dilemmas, finding it almost impossible to look at themselves objectively; and when things do not go well it may be taken out on you. Your partner may be very hard to love, and you could be better off without this individual."

---need to mention this here, it's possible, since I simply asked that the information you needed to know be revealed, that the portrait just painted was actually that of your spouse, and not your fishman?? I don't know, just thought I'd mention that. I asked with respect to your Pisces guy, but sometimes what's revealed is what you need to know, not what you want to know. Again, I have no clue...just mentioning it...

About Your Relationship: The Empress (upright/the gift)

"As a significator of a relationship, the Empress promises joy and fulfillment. It is a card of long term commitment, of lasting love, and of enduring pleasure. Above all, it embodies creation. Within this relationship you could start a family as pregnancy, birth and growth are inextricably linkied with the Empress. If you choose to remain childless, or circumstances rule this option out, another kind of 'child' will be born from this partnership. You may go into business together, for example, creating a successful and flourishing framework for your lives.
The empress is often associated with material comfort and the home. Your relationship may center on this as you work towards creating beautiful surroundings, entertaining your friends and enjoying peaceful, loving times together. Growing plants, indoors or out, is likely to be another shared pleasure and delight in your lives, for the Empress can never be separated from nature.
Harmony of mind, body and spirit prevails in this union. You complement each other very well for you both know how to enjoy yourselves. Delicious food and wine provide a focus for your time together; you both like to indulge from time to time. Candlelight, perfumed oils, silk, velvet and music are other ingredients which may sweeten your love-making. Needless to say, your physical relationship is absorbing since you are both responsive to one another."

About Your Future: The Magician (upright/the gift)

"The Magician invites you to initiate things, to take action and augurs progress. If you are not involved with anyone, but have met someone who you are interested in, take a risk and get in touch. You are unlikely to be disappointed or rejected for at this time you have nothing to lose but your inhibitions."

My off the cuff take on this? You're being asked to consider the possibility that the time is approaching (if not here already) for you to take a more forceful initiative in creating for yourself the kind of love relationship that will fulfill you completely on every level. Perhaps that is still more than possible with your husband, or perhaps it's suggesting that you may need to creating elsewhere if it's not. I think the overriding emphasis is on YOU having all the necessary tools and ingredients for creating ('birthing' if you will--i.e. the Empress) the exact love relationship you desire. Perhaps you need to be more forceful or insistant with your husband with respect to him providing more of the stroking you desire. Your having been represented by the World reversed suggests to me that all is ALMOST right in your world. The pieces are there, just maybe not assembled as you'd originally hoped or expected. It's almost as if you're torn between accepting that 'hey, maybe after a decade with someone, this is as good as it gets' and feeling 'hey, this is pretty good, but it's more than ok for me to want more, and if it's not going to come from him, it might have to come from someone else.'

My guess is he keeps resurfacing because you can only sublimate your true desires for so long before they demand your attention again. Speaking from my own personal experience with reliable man with lots of earth in his chart (including venus in virgo)...safe and dependable is wonderful..don't get me wrong. But for some of us, it isn't enough when it comes at the expense of intensity. Those of us who need the passion are probably drawn to the calm and stability the earth signs have to offer because we'd be spinning our wheels without it. But thre's room for both, and personally, I don't think its necessary to apologize for wanting it all. "The heart wants what it wants" as they say.

OK...just to be safe I did one more spread for you, this time with the Messages from the Angels deck. I opted for a general "What does LeoLys need to know right now" and something very interesting happened. As I was shuffling the deck, three cards popped out. Whenever this happens you're obliged to take notice. All good teachers will tell you that's sort of cosmic shout (LOL.) Well, these are the 3 angels who popped out when I was asking for you...

1. Sonya

This angel brings messages from deceased loved ones. They would want you to know that they are happy, at peace and love you very much, and encourage you not to worry about them

2. Mystique

This angel advises that you keep charging ahead and not take no for an answer. You should expect miraculous solutions to appear.

3. Bethany

This angel urges you to take care of yourself, because in so doing everyone benefits. She speaks especially to the tending of the body...indulging in baths, massages or other forms of relaxation and pampering.

What's interesting was this (and I love when this happens...it just reinforces for me how happy the Universe is to tell us what we need to know) After those three cards shot out of the deck, I almost let it go at that because I know when that happens it's definitely what we're supposed to be paying attention to, but I thought I'd try shuffling again just to be safe for you.

I did a 4-card basic "what does she need to know spread" and guess what happened...THE SAME THREE CARDS showed up AGAIN!

This time, however, you also received the angel Leila. She encourages that you spend time alone in nature meditating about your desires and intentions. You're asked to consult your angels for help on gaining a positive persepective.

Sooo...overall...I see this:

You're in need of some meaningful changes in your life, but in order to manifest those changes, you'll first need to be clear in your intentions. It's OK to want more in your love relationship---just know that you're going to need to take the lead in making it happen. Don't be afraid to assert yourself, because those changes will be rooted in fertile soil at this time. In order for that to happen though, you've got to be clear in your intent, and you can't be THAT if you're tired, stressed or distracted. So, first take the time you need to meditate on what you desire...THEN, with help from God/The Universe...go make it happen.

posted November 20, 2005 08:38 PM         

wow. especially meaningful was the angel card about the dead loved ones. october 1993, my fiance was murdered. so, this time of year, i really get depressed about that. thanks angels for sending a messege about that.

and. its funny, because i do yoga, so i do lots of meditating. so i must be on the right track. also, have been taking very very good care of myself.

and yes, i have felt this need for change for a long time now. and yes, sometimes the urgency is frustrating. its like popping a piece of candy in my mouth, and i wait to taste it, but no taste comes...

posted November 20, 2005 08:48 PM         

By the way...loved your analogy about popping the candy and waiting for the taste. I absolutely get that.

Glad at least some of it made sense to you!!