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ScorpSoul
Knowflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Nov 2005

posted November 30, 2005 07:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpSoul     Edit/Delete Message

I was living abroad for five months until about a week or so ago. The last two months of my stay I met this guy and we became good friends: I would say very good friends in terms of how we interacted with each other with near total openesss and the time we spent together. Mid october, we began a sexual relationship somewhat out of the blue, at least on my part. there was no committment and it was agreed that my leaving the country would signal the end of it.
Right before I left, we got into little arguments and I guess I was already deploring the fact that I was leaving or that he seems to intellectualize so much that was going on between us (reducing/limiting it to just sex) that things got cold between us, or at least reached a standstill. The day of my flight, we got into a tiny argument and I got hurt without him even knowing it. So much so that when he gave me a farewell gift, I received it very coldly, quite unintentionally. I couldn't even work up the courage to hand him my own gift to him: a book about self acceptance. I had a friend of my deliver it after my departure and he seemed to have received it well.
In any case, right when I'm about to get in the cab, he hugged me and said that he was sorry for whatever he may have unwittingly done to cause me to be mad at him/cold to him and really meant it. I was touched by this: think it reiterated the sensitive/caring guy that I knew as a friend. Back home, I then sent an email saying that I accepted his apology and that it wasn't a big deal. That I really liked his gift and was sorry of the way I received it.
I had sent that email the day after my arrival in the states, (maybe too soon, but I didn't want to wait)which was 8 days ago this past saturday. Haven't heard from him. I mean I didn't expect him to send me an effusive email the next day. But I was wondering how much of a telling sign his lack of a reply email is: that he doesn't want to keep in touch: even for the sake of that old friendship which I know mattered to him as well.

p.s. I was on a messenger with a common friend and he did thank me for my gift but I wonder about a personal email from him

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Isolaede
Knowflake

Posts: 167
From: Studio City, CA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted November 30, 2005 12:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Isolaede     Edit/Delete Message
Hey hun:

There could be 100 completely mundane legitimate reasons why your man hasn't responded to your e-mail. He might not check e-mail that often - he might be incredibly busy, etc. But there could also be a lot of emotional reasons - like you hurt him. What was this chap's sun sign if you don't mind my asking? I only ask because it will give us some framework for guessing his reasons for not responding.

In the end, I think it best that you not worry about it too much. If this fellow is the kind of man that deserves your friendship he'll respond. And if you are meant for more then he won't be able to remain silent for long. Just trust that what should happen will, and try not to worry to much.

*Hugs* Hang in there!

- Jessica

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ScorpSoul
Knowflake

Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Nov 2005

posted November 30, 2005 02:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ScorpSoul     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Jessica. I doubt that he is that busy. but you do have a pt about the emotional hurt: I know him enough to know that I may have gone too hard on him with my book about self acceptance and my reaction to his gift (which I couldn't control).

I am trying not to think too hard about this. Cause it's not that deep. I'm sure that he will email eventually: as a friend if nothing else. I'm just a bit deceived, I guess. But if it helps, his sun is aries, moon in aquarius, libra rising. He's def. aqua moon emotionally: very detached while I'm a capricorn sun with scorpio rising. "Worse" is that my venus is in pisces so everything always is emotional with me. Can't change that.

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