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Author Topic:   The Friend Who Got Away?

Posts: 634
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002

posted January 04, 2006 05:14 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gooberzlostlovefound     Edit/Delete Message
I know this forum primarily focuses on romantic relationships, but it seemed like the best place for this post nonetheless...

I think the pain that is caused by the end of a friendship is vastly under-estimated. Even when we know that parting ways is a "good" thing...still...I think it so heart-wrenching. It's like a break-up!

I've just had a falling out with a friend and I know that we'll never be friends again. Even though she has apologized for what has happened and wants to mend things, I now see her differently and know that it would be detrimental to my well-being to continue our friendship. But still, I feel so much sadness, and do miss her even though I can no longer see her as a good/trustworthy person.

I am just so tired of going through these things. Makes me feel like I am right back in junior high where girls are so catty and ruthless. This has only happened to me with female friends every couple of years or so, but -- wow -- does it hurt. I know I'm lucky to have a handful of wonderful, life long friends that I can trust, but still...I hate to go through this. I'm slow to really trust people and consider them friends, but once I do, I care about them really deeply and feel so much loyalty to them.(a capricorn thing?) Maybe it isn't this hard for most people...I admit I am extremely sensitive.

I try not to take it personally...I know that true friends are hard to come by. Yet I can agonize over these situations for months or even years, wondering if I did certain things "wrong" or if the end of the friendship was my fault, etc. etc. Yeah, once again, much like a real break-up. Maybe this sounds crazy...Can anyone relate? How do you bounce back and feel better about losing a friendship? And stop blaming yourself?

Hope I don't sound completely wacky.

Looking forward to replies...


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Focused Chi

Posts: 4
From: The city by the lake
Registered: Dec 2005

posted January 04, 2006 09:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Focused Chi     Edit/Delete Message

I do relate to your situation, I also carry some sadness/guilt about a now gone friend.

I think what may help you is what you said yourself."detrimental to my well being to continue the friendship"

When you are feeling down about it remind yourself why it is you no longer wish to be friends with her. Praise yourself for being wise enough to identify what is best for you.

*The universe does not always give us what we want....but it Always gives us what we Need.*

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