posted March 21, 2006 11:43 PM         

quote:

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If at first you don't succeed. Don't try it again - lol

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posted March 22, 2006 05:56 AM         

You said this happened many times. I would say give time to nourish yourself.
If you are getting attracted to the same kinda guys who would dump u in the end, there is something in you which need to be worked out.
everyone shows some or the other kinda patterns. As for me I am always attracted to elusive men who are afraid of commitment.
I found out that I myself is afraid of commitment,so I select those who never ask for commitment.

Give time for urself. Love yourself.
Keep yourself busy.Pursue hobbies.
So when wrong guys ask for a date, you should be able to say sorry you dont have time now
We usually make wrong choices out of loneliness
Be positive and complete in yourself. u will start attracting guys right for you.
This is what I am trying to implement
Best of luck and love

posted March 22, 2006 06:35 AM         

I am on my third marriage.....one Libra one Aqua and now a Virgo.

I am in my 40s and when I was 24 I said to my sister "I shall never ever trust another man again,,,,I HATE THEM"!!!

Not true !!!

I have had my heart broken many times, by men and women (my best friend went off with my first hubbie)....

But.....

Now.....well, things aint perfect....but we are totally honest with the other, we hurt each other of course, argue sometimes and get p*ssed off, but we completely trust and in our own different ways LOVE deeply...

So sweetie, dont lose heart......love finds us all in the end....especially if we are patient (not one of my virtues)

Sending love

posted March 24, 2006 12:59 PM         

In my life I’ve loved and lost many times, I’ve felt the stabbing, soul wrenching pain of betrayal and loss and wondered if my heart would ever recover again a dozen times. Yet each and every time I loved and lost, I moved on to find something or someone better and more suited to my personality. And because of what I’d learned from my prior relationships, I was able to be a better partner. Looking back I realize that if those endings had not come I’d still be in that old painful relationship not in my new happy one. So I started to view endings as road signs of destiny. When a relationship ended abruptly, and I could honestly say that I’d put my all into it holding nothing back, then I took that as a sign that destiny was telling me it had something better out there for me. After all, if I’d done everything I could and it still ended then obviously things were out of my hands. I started to be grateful for those endings. After all, why would I want to waste my time in an unhappy relationship that lasted years? Its better that I have a chance to move on to find a deeper and more fulfilling relationship. And perhaps in the end that relationship only existed so I could learn what I needed to learn to be better for the man I will bind myself to for eternity.

So find what lessons you can from your past relationship, allow it to mold you into a better person and partner, then look to new horizons dear lady. When love presents itself to you again (and it will), then let go and love with all your heart. Believe that ultimately good people are destined for good things, and trust that in the end, after all the tears and heartache you will find happiness in love.

posted March 24, 2006 03:02 PM         

and

posted March 24, 2006 06:38 PM         

quote:

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Does anyone have any good advice to offer?

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I would say never lose faith in love, no matter what happens. I know that sounds glib and easy to say etc, but it's the truth that's got me through so many break-ups.

Much as you feel it's the end of the world as you know it; much as you want the world to swallow you whole and stop the wrenching pain in your heart... life has a dogged (and actually very comforting) way of going on. You will live past this point. It will become a memory and you will love and be loved again.

I agree with everything all these wonderfully wise women have said so far, and have only one more thing to add - in the absence of someone else to love, try to do the thing that we all very often forget to do; love and take care of yourself.

posted March 24, 2006 08:51 PM         

Don't give up on love - have faith in it, because it is the most wonderful thing there is - we all breathe it, long for it and without it, wouldn't thrive.

Personally, I've decided to find a way to love everyone in the meantime, until my next big love, that way I can be more receptive to that person and it will be a better kind of love for me. It took a lot of pain and disappointment for me to get to this point. I feel that closing off my heart won't help me gain the one thing I want the most. Yes, people can be difficult and hard to love when we're hurting, but they're human (and a tad bit selfish, which makes them difficult, but still human)...So have faith and don't give up...for right now, love the most important person and deserving of the most love to you: yourself.

much love sent your way,

posted March 24, 2006 09:45 PM         

take care of yourself. I know it hurts. There isn't much anyone can say to heal a broken heart. But the truth is, a good heart will heal. The pain you feel, don't think of it as a death, rather, think of it as a sign of rebirth. It's his lose! Not yours.

It's easy to say, but try and detach yourself from the world. My motto at the moment is: "Avoid self pity and practice emotional detachment".

Try smiling at other men, see what happens. You might not fancy them in the long run, but they may come over and say some nice things to you which will cheer your heart.

Take the advice from any Piscian: flirt, flirt, flirt!

If you feel pain, you are human. If you didn't feel pain then something somewhere is wrong. And that would be disturbing.

If you love him. Wish him the very best. And let him go. Remember that the world is a harsh place and real love is rare. So what he might think is love, may, in the end, not be. He may come back... if you will accept him.

And remember, he is an Aqu. Use your knowledge of the devine art of Astrology to aid you in understanding him, as well as others you meet. It's how I live my life now. To study Astrology is to study humanity. And we all are better for it.

Take care sweetheart.

posted March 25, 2006 11:16 AM         

I feel for you because I have been through the same thing with an Aquarius man.

It seems some Aquarius men always want what they can't have or they want whatever needs to be chased. He may not have wanted his ex-girlfriend at the time he had her and now that she is gone and moving on with her life he gets an ephifany and decides he is in love with her.

Some Aquarius men always want what is fleeting. I am not saying you are not repsonsible in some way for the choices you are making but somethings come naturally and give and take in a loving caring relationship does not come naturally for some Aquarius men, at least not the one I was with. They love the drama.

My sister is involved with an Aquarius man and they have been going back and forth for the last 15 years. They have gotten married, gotten divorced, gotten married again, broken up, made up. It is just crazy to me. (By the way she is a Capricorn).

I just want you to be prepared for when he comes back. And they always do. It is usually about the time you have started to heal and forgotten about them. Sometimes the temptation is so strong and you feel like and idiot for taking them back. But when the relationship is good, it is really good. It is the back and forth that keeps us hooked, like an addiction. If they were totally rotten jerks it would be easy to move on and not let them come back. But they can be extremely charming and always tempt us with something we want.

Aquarius men (some) cannot make up their minds. They don't really now want they want.

They usually come back as friends. Then before you know it you are in love again and they are rejecting you all over again, then you are kicking yourself, saying how did I let this happen. They want to be in control.

The only way to beat an addiction is not to have one drop...not even friendship. No contact is the best way to get rid of an Aquarius, not matter how many roses they send you or how many phone calls you get or no matter how many times they show up at your job or door.

When I think of an Aquarius Man I think , Mind F--k.

I wish you strength to move on and resist any charms he may throw at you to come back into your life, even as friends.

posted March 25, 2006 01:09 PM         

Any of you want to tell us the secret formula to a long lasting, loving, monogamous
relationship with one of you fellows?
I have heard that it is possible!

posted March 27, 2006 01:37 PM         

I think that is the best piece of advice that I've ever gotten! And so timely too. You just reiterated what I think the Universe has been trying to teach me all along. (: I really want to say thank all of you so much! It was such a relief and comfort to know there was a forum to go to where other souls had shared their pain and lessons before me. For all that, I am grateful. And I know this too shall pass!

posted March 27, 2006 01:48 PM         

Blue M, I totally agree with you. See the problem w/it (as you beautifully pointed out, is that we started out as friends, got involved, and continue to be friends). I didn't think that I could break off our friendship esp. since we work together (I know, I know,stupid, but it's a learning experience). *sighs* However, I told him that I need some space, I need time to heal and distance myself from him. Of course, he wants to continue being friends and of course, having me around whenever he (um)..."needs" me. I'm moving onto greener pastures. They're out there.

In any case, again thanks to all! (:

posted March 28, 2006 04:50 AM         

Definitely move on to greener pastures. Don't even worry about being "nice." Avoid him as much as possible.

That just totally sucks. I'm sorry

Hope you feel better...

GLLF

posted March 28, 2006 09:29 AM         

Thanks guys!
(:

posted March 28, 2006 09:58 PM         

They(Aquarian Males) are genius at covering up their emotions. As well as experts at pull out your emotions. No matter how you try to hide your emotions from them sooner or later they will draw them out.

I have learned many lessons from my Aquarian class, I call it. He has taught me to not be so emotional and not show my feelings to souls who could care less.

Don't believe him when he says everything is Ok. He is just trying to save face because you were not so nice to him. Don't believe him when he says he doesn't care if you were not so nice to him. They get their feelings hurt very easily but you would never known it because they are consummate actors.

Good Luck and remember what I said about the back and forth friendship thing.

Stay Strong.

posted March 30, 2006 06:56 AM         

Oh, the ex!!!! Bummer...believe me, I know exactly how you feel....

I hope that he learns from this experience because, it was wrong for him to take up with you, while he had unresolved issues with her. He could never have made a go of it with you, because he wasn't emotionally available to give all of himsElf to you.

You were in a no-win situation right from the start.....

I don't think that makes him an a...hole though, it just makes him very emotionally immature in matters of the heart.

You, on the other hand, will definitely learn from this experience and go on to have a wonderful understanding of love.

Broken hearts are no fun at all.....and your emotions will continue to swing until to you come to understand the dynamics of the whole relationship.

I wish you love and light and a speedy broken heart mend.

posted March 30, 2006 07:36 AM         

The Aquarian male uses that kind of line to save face...
to keep from letting you know he is still feeling any number of emotions...
Love
Anger
Fear
It is his way of coping and dealing with rejection or trying to avoid any emotional encounter with you.
If he lets go of that "he does not care for you" attitude he will let his emotions take over. So he puts up that wall to hide what ever feelings he has towards you.

posted April 01, 2006 08:54 AM         

TAKE THIS TEST!
READ THE ENTIRE THREAD!
Very revealling!
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/006312.html

posted April 03, 2006 04:32 AM         

When a pattern repeats in life [in your case, too many bad relationships], you have to do something completely different to break it up. An attitude change, an absolutely new hobby and a completely different perspective on relationships.