posted March 23, 2006 02:44 PM         

I know it has been really long... but I have been busy, busy, busy… Great social life!!! I think I needed a break from overanalysing and feeling contempt for myself… So I just shut down and enjoyed myself…

Well, hmmm, I have a burning question…

It’s again about this Aries guy (I know I’m boring… I call it persevering… ). I know nothing from him since the 6th Jan this year… Check on here if you don’t remember… http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/001941.html

Well, I’ve been waiting for his birthday to have an excuse to contact him and keep this thing alive… I suppose I used to look at it as the last attempt… But last weekend I met a common male friend that I don’t usually meet…

He told me he had talked to him before Xmas about me. In short, he told my friend that I was well over his reach. It didn’t matter how much he liked me, he couldn’t try out of fear of being abandoned. He is completely sure that I’m too good and I’ll find someone who is a better fit for me at work in the near future, because *he said* I could have anyone I wanted… WOW

So he is really into me… but terrified of losing me… so much that he won’t even try… I suspected that… but now it’s confirmed…

This guy says that he surely offered me sex with no compromise to have something with me (whatever it is) without having to believe that I’ll be there all his life (just in case I’m not). My friend says he was terribly lonely…

So what was going to be a Happy Birthday SMS is maybe not enough… I feel like doing something else, like going to visit like last year… Maybe sending a sweet card… Dunno…

BUT… I checked on the chart for his birthday (10 April) and it’s disastrous… We don’t need another misunderstanding…

Can you, wise Magi experts (or astrologers of any kind) give me an insight of what I can expect? Any advice?

posted March 23, 2006 03:39 PM         

Ok...quick suggestion.

Have you considered looking at a better date just before his Bday? Nothing like starting the celebration EARLY!!

Start there...

BTW-What are you wanting to know Magi-wise? About that particular date for him? You? The synastry will not change...just different points might be triggered in either of your charts with transits around that time and it sounds like you have already looked those up.

If that day looks bad, I would simply choose another better-looking date. Simple.
I prefer to choose one before a person's BDAY so they know I did not forget...it seems better pre-BDay vs post-BDay.

Bottom line...his insecurity may not change. The best option for you may be simply talking about your thoughts and desires straight up...open your heart WIDE and see what comes of it. Mostly-YOU sound much better and capable of taking the reins here!! Just Do It!!

posted March 24, 2006 05:55 AM         

So nice to talk to you again!!! God, I’ve missed you all…

Hmmmm… I was looking at the planet configuration of the day, not at the transits… How do you do that? Is it like a synastry chart for the day and each one of us? Should I look at his transits or mine? How does that connect each other? What should I be looking for?

Can you give me a hand?

Unfortunately planets like Saturn, Chiron and Venus don’t move much in a few days!!! And I know he loves to be remembered especially on HIS day. I should do something on the 10th but I don’t know what to not provoke a disaster…

posted March 24, 2006 07:24 AM         

Why do you believe You are going to bring on a disaster? Why not look at it as though you may be the best thing happening on his BDay?

Just to be clear, did you look at his transits for that day and this has determined a bad day? ( Assuming you are following transits on astro.com. ) How do your transits look for the day?

If it is important that you contact him on his DAY, then do not worry about the darn transits. Just BE! Just DO! You need to keep in mind that Life goes it's own path and trying to always control things does not work....to some degree Life let's us make choices and decisions...but overall, we must be brave and walk forward each day-Fearless!

So steel....forget about the astro and be yourself! Open your heart and be your best YOU! Relax and think about love flowing from you towards him...and trust that whatever happens, ALL WILL BE FINE. Thinking good thoughts often manifests good things....regardless of astrology!

Think of something personal and creative for his BDay....you still both live in Madrid si? If it were me, I would write a fabulous letter...one from my heart that might describe deeper feelings which have never been shared with him. It will be something which he can read one thousand times over....and over...and over. A letter which will calm his mind....speak your heart and connect you two in the most intimate of ways....

Now who wouldn't want that for a BDay prezzie?

posted March 24, 2006 08:02 PM         

I don’t know, it’s not about ME bringing a disaster... It something about us, with all that magic floating around, there are still always misunderstundings and frustration… I get so angry when he plays one of his well-intentioned clumsy episodes… It’s always bad timing, on-and-off kind of thing… That’s all… I just thought that if I could be prepared for the electromagnetic field, the cosmic atmosphere for that day, I could face it better… Or reconsider my options…

Now I have looked at our transits for the 10th Apr… Not looking great… The most outstanding are:

HIS TRANSITS
His natal Mercury squares Chiron (0º38)
His natal Mars squares the Moon (0º07) and trines Jupiter (0º13)
His natal Jupiter squares Venus (wide orb -> 3º29)
His natal Saturn opposes Chiron (0º53)
His natal Neptune quinqunx Jupiter (0º51)
His natal Chiron squares Saturn (wide orb -> 3º39)
His natal Venus contraparalell Chiron and Pluto (Our Cinderella linkage links his natal Venus with my natal Chiron)

MY TRANSITS
My natal Sun sqaures Mars (1º33) and Pluto (0º14)
My natal Venus trines Pluto (0º28)
My natal Mercury quinqunx Chiron (0º15)
My natal Mars quinqunx Chiron (2º00)
My natal Jupiter trines Venus (0º38)
My natal Saturn trines Pluto (1º42)
My natal Chiron sextiles Venus (0º12)
My natal Chiron squares Saturn (0º38)

Hmmm… I get the impression for what I see that I will look terribly sexy (a lot of sexual energy and tension). I don’t want to give out sex vibes… I will be giving the wrong impression… Again… He offered me sex!!! What I want is romanticism… But he won’t make it easy for me…

And it’s a Cinderella time for him, so he has the power… isn’t it that way?

posted March 25, 2006 06:56 AM         

Try not to think toooooo much-it kills the spontaneity! Just follow your heart! You are trying to control too many things...and forgetting your own personal power.

Visualize the outcome...and then decide what you want to do to let him know you would like to get closer with him. Keep in mind, the romance thing is not always a given...let him decide if he is going to follow up with romance. Forcing romance from another is tricky business. Why not be romantic towards him with a nice love note-card (reasonable message at this time, not OTT). Set a good example!! AND-- Try something more exciting than an SMS. Boring...and it will not make you stand out.

Steel...find your trust in yourself and the Universe.

Relax and just BE.

Be yourself...cease trying to control him and his reactions. Just stop it. It is not very pretty and simply unnecessary.

You are getting all worked up and it is not needed. Instead, focus your energy on the message you want him to hear....write it, then re-write it and later, re-write it again. The astrology will be what it is...your Life is in Your power.

posted March 25, 2006 10:16 AM         

I know I shouldn’t be controlling (or trying to control it) that much. But it’s always me risking here, he always plays safe. And boring.

Actually I thought of that Bday notecard initially. He used to love getting letters from me (I used to write to him at highschool). I once even perfumed a card for him and he mentioned later how lovely that was. And when he called me to the UK several years after we lost contact, he said I had been re-reading my letters…

So I guess that’s the right thing to do… I’m just so scared of, I don’t know what, really… Especially after I saw the difficult astrological configuration… Somehow, I feel that’s like a fireworks spectacular finale, my last shot… A bit suicidal… I’m stretching out of my comfort zone to reach him and I may have to pay for my daring…

I though of sending a notecard and then go and visit on the day to say Happy Birthday personally. He doesn’t even remember when mine is… This is silly…

posted March 25, 2006 04:50 PM         

Bottom line Steel....giving Love to someone is not about control of that person.

One gives Love because that is what comes naturally. It exudes from our actions selflessly.

One gives Love without expectations...simply because it feels good to give to that person.
Who cares if that person does not know your BDay...Love does not care about checks and balances...

You give of Yourself when you Love someone and truly believe that the Universe will unveil the BEST outcome for you in the end.
You cannot fear the outcome....you simply and freely GIVE LOVE.

Because you seem to like creating 'drama', why not channel that energy into creating a dramatic vision of what you wish for your future. Include in your dream--the vision of your idea of True Love and how you would ultimately desire that part of your life to unfold.

Then, LET GO OF YOUR FEARS...AND TRUST in yourself and the intangible powers which bring unforeseen opportunities into our lives.

Think about this:

If you do not get past these personal challenges you continue to obsess about (drama, control and creating untold fears), you will always sabotage yourself.

Is this what you desire?

I would think not, HOWEVER, this is the image you continue to put out into the Universe. Why would you think such negative thoughts and expect a postive outcome? Forget about past history of defeats...move forward into your PRESENT.

Let your fears go and watch your Life change!

Dare yourself to be Free and Live!!!! No whining!! No excuses either!!

Just BE YOUR BEST YOU!!

Choose to let go of your need to control others and outcomes...release your self-imposed 'drama'. These thought-patterns are not needed nor are they helpful in bringing your creative vision to Life.

And lastly, GIVE because you LOVE-and for no other reason.

SIMPLY LOVE.

GemStar

posted March 27, 2006 07:27 AM         

quote:

---

The Heart position reveals personal tendencies, romantic attitudes, goals, or intentions that may have an affect on your perspective, the results, or course of action.

The Five of Pentacles in this position suggests that while you are not one to cut your losses (after all, you have the same right to pursue your life as anyone), your relationship or physical intimacy may be strained or stressed. It isn't just about you, however, for the hardships, mortification, shame, or want that you are enduring are taking their toll on both of you in their own way. At this time you might be a co-dependent or enabler; abused; "flawed," or invisible, or your bed may be cold, particularly if there has been infidelity, or you or your partner is suffering from an addiction, ailment, infertility, stigma, or is unable to provide in the usual way. Having made your decision to stick it out, it is all about survival right now and just getting through each unknown one day at a time. As a result, you may be preoccupied with, consumed, or worried about past baggage, "stuff," or money matters; are turning or receiving the cold shoulder, or feel left out, excluded, or frustrated with conditions even as you venture forth beyond the confines of your own ever expanding comfort zone in search of opportunity or acceptance. This is especially true if you have worn out your welcome, or are being cast out or ostracized because you don't uphold the values, expectations, or standards of the more conservative group; however, always one to push the envelope, perhaps out of stubborn pride, unrealistic preferences, craving, or impulsivity, you have not yet hit rock bottom, and finding strength in adversity, you push ever onward. However, there seems to be a bit of a dichotomy here, for you may at once try to blend with your surroundings, or are letting yourself "go," hoping to escape notice or confrontation, but at the same time announce your presence or protest your plight, status, or suffering with unnecessary or exaggerated garishness, bells, indulgence, or props in order to prove that it is on your terms or by your choice; to gain sympathy or attention; to reject or flout the "sin" or "unsanctified" nature of your situation, or to keep from being dismissed as an untouchable or unworthy.
In general, the Five of Pentacles is Worry, and it can represent the need to take control of matters before hope is lost. There is the danger of avoidance or self-defeating behaviors that could compromise your character. This card is reminding you to be aware of some sort of impoverishment, misfortune, or illness that you have the power to change. It also asks you to remain or become compassionate to others in their struggles, and to be an example of hope and courage.

---

posted March 27, 2006 07:54 AM         

I once selflessly loved him. Without any expectation. For many years. And that almost destroyed me. That left a permanent scar of unworthiness and distrust. I have already given him a lot. I suppose all that made me a control freak. I know I need to overcome that. But a step at a time.

I’m sorry but I don’t agree. Love is bidirectional. Love flows to and from. It is given and returned. Love is energy, and the same as energy is not either created or destroyed. It flows. You cannot just give or receive. If someone acts like a sink, it will stop receiving love… because it drains the source… The Universe does care about balances; that’s karma for you…

What do you mean by creating ‘drama’?

Creating an image of what I want for my future? Of true love? I do it all the time. Almost constantly.

posted March 27, 2006 08:56 AM         

I am sorry you feel the way you do...So interesting, your response-post illustrated all of my points perfectly.