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Author
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Topic: too many boys and none that I want
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BerrySweet
Knowflake Posts: 108
From: Hanging out on the Vine with the Wild Bunch.
Registered: May 2006
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posted June 16, 2006 05:34 AM
 
I'm at a strange stage right now...I'm totally depressed, and yet for some unknown reason I've never had so many men throwing themselves at me. I'm getting calls for dates (none of which I want to go on.) I guess the problem here is, I have such a lack of confidence. My last b/f really tore up my self esteem. I just don't want to get involved. I'm baffled at where all this attention is coming from. Do men like morbidly depressed women? I'm at a loss for what to do with all these guys. When it rains, it pours, and it's raining men...And men are the last thing I'm interested in right now. I'd rather be left alone in my misery. IP: Logged |
Peri
Knowflake Posts: 1309
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003
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posted June 16, 2006 06:12 AM
It's a good chance for you to get out of you misery.  ------------------
Where there is feeling, Life itself is right behind.
Carol Willis IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Moderator Posts: 4078
From: Ontario Canada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted June 16, 2006 09:10 AM
It's true.
I wonder what the dominant signs are of the men interested in you or if you are just good at putting on a poker face, with a trace of 'something' underneath for intrigue.
That something is apathy right now, but what better way to move beyond that than to have men throwing themselves at you?!
Hard to have poor self esteem when people around you say nice things about you.. then you can redefine it from within, so it makes sense to you.So your ex took little bits of your shield... you can build it up again if you listen to the reasons why others find you intriguing! Go out! Make yourself. IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Knowflake Posts: 4793
From:
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted June 16, 2006 12:34 PM
There could be a number of reasons why the energy you're projecting is attractive to men. Do you have any male friends who would give you honest feedback as to why? They could read your body language and give you an honest opinion.IP: Logged |
spellbound
Knowflake Posts: 133
From: Illinois
Registered: Aug 2005
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posted June 16, 2006 02:13 PM
It's either feast or famine isn't it?
Listen to you voice, berry. If men are the last thing that you are interested in right now, maybe that's a sign that you need to find a way on your own terms and own time to heal from whatever wounds you have from your previous relationship. I understand the low self-esteem thing. I think it's something that everyone goes through at one point or another. And when you invest time into a relationship and it sours, someone is always left holding a potfull of negative emotions, regardless of who is at fault. My suggestion is to give yourself time to heal, but don't barricade yourself from experiencing life in the meantime. Things will go on around you whether you do or not. Balance...find people that you can rely on either for a shoulder, someone to talk to, or someone that can take you away...great movie, girl time, etc. But most of all realize that bad things happen to good people and sometimes thing just don't work out. I can't say that I don't know what it's like to nurse a broken heart, wounded pride, and a torn ego...but relying on others to draw me out and help me heal worked wonders. Rely on those you love and learn to love yourself. It's the best gift you will ever recieve. Love heals all things.  Good luck to you! SB
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WaterNymph
Knowflake Posts: 2010
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2005
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posted June 16, 2006 03:55 PM
Ugh that’s life for ya. Out of curiosity, what house is your Saturn transiting? Is it making an aspect to your Venus?IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 4824
From: Bisbee, Arizona
Registered: May 2002
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posted June 16, 2006 05:14 PM
It's simple - You could careless... that also portrays confidence. The world is seeing a woman that "doesn't need a man" But the reason? They don't know- it could be because she has all she wants, only wants to play the field, hasn't got time..etc... they don't know it is because you are depressed and you don't want to let anyone in. All they see is what is being shown, not the logic behind it. IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
Knowflake Posts: 108
From: Hanging out on the Vine with the Wild Bunch.
Registered: May 2006
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posted June 17, 2006 11:01 AM
WaterNymph - It's transiting my second house...and my Venus is in Sagg.Well, if this keeps up for long enough, maybe I'll bump into someone who'll interest me. It would be nice to feel a little spark again. IP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 812
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted June 20, 2006 10:35 AM
Hi BerrySweet...How's it going? Feeling any better? IP: Logged |
SavageScorpio
Knowflake Posts: 87
From: Fort Worth, TX. US
Registered: Mar 2005
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posted June 21, 2006 12:30 AM
Hey, I know very much what you mean! I don't know about you, but I don't want to get into a relationship unless I'm at my best, mentally/emotionally. Also, guys can sometimes make you more depressed, at least me... with how shallow they can be (all they care about is sex and how you look dont/look). Right now I'm just trying to get my life together, going to church, and want to meet a guy that I can be FRIENDS with, who doesn't want to jump into anything... Doesn't it make you feel more depressed though when guys come at you? It's like they're coming at you because they're attracted to you, or want to see if your easy or something, when you obviously are going through a lot, it's like discouraging to have to deal with THAT stuff too....from guys. A guy that will like you for you, take the time to get to know you, who realizes the state your in, who doesn't want to take advantage of your vulnerability, is rare. I don't know maybe I'm going off about my experiences too much, but it makes me more depressed to be reminded of how shallow guys are, and the approaches they use, etc.. when how you feel is like written all over you. I think guys 1. think that it will make the girl feel better.. more confident...(which it doesn't, it does the opposite) or just 2. don't care and just want to use you, and probably use the same approach on every girl. I dunno.. but I know how you feel!!!! I think too, guys like to be the dominant ones, and when you're depressed, your more.. solemn..timid, etc. You probably don't seem threatening to them, who knows. IP: Logged |
BerrySweet
Knowflake Posts: 108
From: Hanging out on the Vine with the Wild Bunch.
Registered: May 2006
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posted July 05, 2006 10:18 PM
OMG, I'm going through a terrible one with this rude and arrogant guy who won't take "no" for an answer.He's so crazy, he writes me about how I'm not good enough for him, and then puts his phone number at the bottom and askes me to call. Why??? Does he think he can insult me into liking him? What kind of girl would go for that? I think he is used to girls with no self esteem, the ones who like being put down all the time. Or maybe he got his technique from one of those "speed seduction" or "double your dating" sites. Anyway, I've blocked him.
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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