posted June 30, 2006 12:55 PM         

I had a mamogram earlier this month.. I have alot of scar tissue from an earlier surgery and to make a long story short.. I had to have a biopsy... twice. Come to find out.. I picked up a staff infection from the last go-around and have been on IV antibiodics to try to clear it.... so far so good...but in the midst the stress it caused trickles down to affect everything else...
While all this is going on...My Scorpio b/f
yes, this would be the guy i had a car accident with.... has been a real piece of work.... I was with him the same day i had the mamogram.. I didn't tell him about it because 1. I wanted to know more before i worried anyone and 2. he told me he couldn't take any more stress when i told him i needed to see him... I just wanted to be held actually... So thats what we did.. Well he then says that he can't read me anymore and abrubtly leaves.. I run into him at a local hang/out a few days later... and the temp. change in the room was tangible... I was going to tell him all i had been through and before i had a chance he tells me that he is making some changes.
I asked him,"How do you mean that exactly?"
He responded by telling me that he was going to start taking better care of himself.. blah blah blah... Then he says he has to go and i have not heard from him for 3 weeks... guess thats history... Of course, in true Scorp style he left the door open....as he did not say "good-bye".. but I have no choice but to believe that thats just what it was....
Then... just as i am picking myself up off the floor...
My mother's dog (her baby) dies in my care while she is on Vacation in Alaska on a cruise... The dog died in her sleep Wed... I have to be at my mom's house tonight at midnight when she is due home to tell her..
I have the sick feeling in your stomach and am worried that something bad is going to happen as she is not in good health herself and this dog was her companion (lives alone). I hope i can find the words...

Hopeful...thats what my daughter said I am...
Hopeful that i can keep my breast...
Hopeful that the Scorp is a victim of his own "5 minute" rule....
Hopeful that i find the right words and can be a comfort to my mom... She's a Leo....

posted June 30, 2006 01:09 PM         

Faith comes by hearing." - Jesus Christ

> Vocal Vitamins
>
>
>
> Decree these prayers aloud in your prayer times, today, and this
weekend,
> and allow them to saturate your mind, and your soul.
>
> For healing:
>
> I abide in the presence of God. God> '> s vitality restores my body to
full
> health.
>
> The touch of God immediately heals my mind and body. Every cell within
me
> is responding to the touch of God. I am strengthened and restored
through
> God, and by those that God directs.
>
> The healing power of God misses nothing; it is complete, thorough and
> permanent. My healing happens at the causation level changing all the
> effects.
>
> For guidance:
>
> I abide in the presence of the Almighty. My mind is receptive to
Divine
> intelligence. I now willingly open my mind to perfect ideas from God.
God
> guides my way, and I rely on the guidance that comes directly from
God.
>
> My mind is a living vessel of God> '> s thought. I pray for Divine
ideas, and
> understanding of those ideas, and the motivation to make those ideas
come
> alive in my life so that I may follow through in actions and reactions
> that make a great positive difference in every aspect of my life,
present,
> and future.
>
> For relationships:
>
> My body is the temple of the living God and therefore I become God> '>
s love
> in life. The expression on my face is loving. My body language shows
> others my non-judging accepting attitude of them. Through the power of
> God> '> s love in active in me, I will bless every person in my life
with the
> same perfection of attitude and action.
>
> May the full love of God come through my every thought, word and
action
> towards others. May others feel only the sincere love of God in my
every
> interaction with them.
>
> May God> '> s perfect love take away fear in me, and in others, so
that we may
> communicate in a new and higher way.
>
> For prosperity:
>
> I put God first in every thought, word, and action to change myself so
> that I can matter and make a difference in this life that I have been
> given as a gift from God.
>
> God now frees me from thoughts of lack, and opens the way for an
inflow of
> a cornucopia of God> '> s good. I abide in the presence of God> '> s
abundance. My
> life, and every aspect of my life, is enriched through God> '> s
perfect
> Divine ideas acting through me on the job, and in my career.
>
> I pray for God to bless my career path.
>
> I pray for the touch of God to be upon my work so that my work will
have
> more than a human power, and more than human inspiration. I pray that
my
> work has the power to make a difference for good, and for all to be
> blessed by it.
>
> I pray that others in decision-making areas see my abilities, and
gladly
> wish to reward me.
>
> ...> In Jesus Christ's name....Amen
>
> _____________________________________
> God Bless You! Make it a GREAT day!
>

posted June 30, 2006 01:24 PM         

Your boyfriend sensed something was wrong..
and he really couldn't handle the Truth..
he does love you..he wants you to be well..

thunderbolt path of karma comes to mind..all at once..you feel like, if it wasn't for bad luck..you wouldn't have any luck at all..
I know, this feeling..hehe
it's going to get better
and turn to God source..allow that Love and Light..to shine on you..and give you strength..

would your mom..want another dog?

I am sending you so Much LOve and Light..

posted June 30, 2006 01:27 PM         

Sending love and hope to you

posted June 30, 2006 02:42 PM         

Mama Mia....

**** Decree these prayers aloud in your prayer times, today, and this
weekend,
> and allow them to saturate your mind, and your soul.*******

I will and thank you

lotusheartone..... Thank you!

I have no doubt the Scorp sensed something was wrong... He doesn't really seem to handle anything.. He is probably the most self-absorbed man I have ever met... and a coward to boot... He will learn that he can't run from himself.... and of course , he can't give me somthing he does not have..
love me?, I don't know? I often felt i only exisited in his fantasy world... any smack of reality and i wouldn't see him for dust.

posted July 06, 2006 10:41 AM         

Well as an update...

Went to the Doctor yesterday... all is cleared up and healing... IV did it... fingers crossed that there are no more problems.. Doc said to keep stress levels at a minimum... no worrying... Does this man realize I am a Virgo?!!!

Mom took the news better than expected.. Seemed she knew something was wrong and didn't want to admit it to herself... darn old denial!!! She had lots of love and comfort from family and friends... She did have a wonderful time...

posted July 06, 2006 01:33 PM         

Glad to hear the "worst case scenarios" did not come to pass!!

Full Moon on the 10th..... a time of endings.....
For your Scorp I will wish that what must be, will be.....

posted July 07, 2006 09:44 PM         

The boyfriend thing is bothering you the most, and he will have to get over his emotional immaturity and be your friend.

Good luck to you and dont' stop talking about your feelings,