posted July 31, 2006 06:43 PM         

Better to love and lost than to never love at all? Right now, I am having a hard time believing it.

===========================

My heart is breaking
I don't know why
My soul is aching
As we said goodbye

I love you and you love me
Nothing more perfect than the spring
Bring me flowers or let me be
But don't come around to say goodbye

If love is from God
Why does it hurt so bad
"The pain is all worth it" so you say
How do you keep the hurt at bay

posted July 31, 2006 07:38 PM         

Never mind suffering from heartache. It's the fact that there seem to be noone out there to reach out to. Mom used to cheer me up. Now she's gone.

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

posted July 31, 2006 10:46 PM         

Do you have a woman friend, aunt or sister you can talk to that will help?

posted August 01, 2006 01:33 AM         

Just, I understand.

Please be gentle with yourself.

This helped me at one time a bit (I say 'a bit' because what could really? )
I was struggling to somehow focus more on the present to move on and having a difficult time of it.

* * *

Embracing the NOW is the only cure for a broken heart. Yet when one's heart is broken is the hardest time to embrace it. And that is because we are so fiercely embracing and holding onto that from which we have separated. It is hard to let go and release and letting go and releasing is exactly what we need to do in order to embrace the NOW. So it is crucial to be gentle with yourself. Hearts need time to heal. When they do finally heal it will be realized that it was putting our focus more on the NOW that accelerated that healing.

We are all healing! When I look around me and see others griefstricken or abused or lonely or forsaken I see that everyONE is healing. EveryONE may be at their own unique stage in their healing, but they are all healing. Some may be healing from multiple hurts or huge hurts or small hurts. EveryONE has something they are healing. I cannot interfere in their healing. I can only provide an example through my own healing--which is ongoing like most people. I can only help others by healing myself.

Healing is a matter of release; of surrender. It is hard to release because separation hurts, in fact it's one of the biggest hurts we are all trying to heal. We feel separated from our creator, from our true selves behind all those masks, from those characters we created to fill our reality, and from that reality itself. It's like we're floating in the air frantically trying to hold onto something. So we hold on to the thought patterns that brought comfort in the past. We hold onto old perceptions. We repeat our actions and movements.

We fear releasing all that because we become naked and vulnerable. We fear the unknown so we hold on to the known--which is in the past. We fear the NOW because it is unknown. It may not fit the parameters of our old reality. The NOW calls for spontaneity and that is difficult for those who habitually react in default patterns. We don't know how to be free and spontaneous and joyous.

But if we surrender all our struggle and fears and clear our heads of thought we can connect to the NOW moment of where ever we happen to be. We could connect with a flower or look at a mountain or cloud and we could feel the beauty and love and joy within that NOW moment. Through this connection we can feel the connectedness of all things and we can touch the feeling of ONE-ness. This is when we can begin to see that all separation is an illusion. This makes for more rapid healing. The heart becomes much stronger. When the heart is in the NOW it beats vibrantly. There is so much love and joy and beauty in a moment of NOW that the heart is rejuvenated.

Put your heart in the NOW and, with time, it will heal. Others will come to their realization at just the right point in their journey. The more people who embrace the NOW, the easier it will become for others. How do you immerse in the NOW with a broken heart? Slowly, gently, and with complete surrender.

~White Feather

* * *

the most profound thing to me at the time of reading this, was the permission to be gentle with myself.
I realized that it hadn't even occurred to me to be. I was bashing myself down, so hard on myself, and caring for myself was the furthest thing from my mind.

Anniversaries are the most difficult, I hear.
So sorry for the loss of your Mother as well.
Perhaps, inside, you know what she would say to you just now. Listen and she is surely still with you.

posted August 01, 2006 06:45 AM         

I don’t know what to say. Only that I’ve been there several times. And I still think sometimes that I wish I wouldn’t have known them for all the pain they inflicted me. For all those scars that still pull my skin in stormy days where blue memories drag you back…

But I also know that I am who I am due to those heartbreaks. I’m a more mature and compassionate person. Much deeper. I appreciate more people who love me. I see others around me, those who were “lucky” and met-got together-married-had children with no trouble, not once… All perfect bliss… And being thirtyish, they are mentally and emotionally sixteen, most of them, seriously… With that false security of those who never lost, with that hidden fear of difficulty… Many are superficial, others immature, other naively sweet, all inexperienced…

Feel proud of your heartbreaks, darling, they are your war medals, your service stripes. You lost because you lived. And one day you'll win, truly win, and will value it. Because you will know what is like not to have it.

posted August 01, 2006 08:04 AM         

I don't really have anyone to talk to. I am an only child and have migrated to Canada with my Ex-husband when my mom died. I have an absentee father I have only met twice in my lifetime.

What makes my mom's death quiet painful to me was the fact that she killed herself. I suspect that she had a bipolar disorder that was never acknowledged - culturally almost unspeakable, and therefore never treated.

Today is the day that she shot herself, although she technically did not die until the next day.

Thank you so much for caring and I am sorry for posting this here in the Soul Unions - probably the wrong place for this type of post. I started out just wanting to share the poem I wrote in heartbreak.

posted August 01, 2006 01:56 PM         

This gave me much comfort... I hope it does the same for you...

Love and Light,

posted August 01, 2006 03:32 PM         

I love it... the scenes are so peaceful. And the words... very touching. Feel like crying.

Thank you so much.