posted September 02, 2006 10:43 PM              

then what?

would you really be able to respect a man
who couldn't tell the difference?

posted September 03, 2006 12:58 AM              

although, I admire Zala and GLLF's compassionate perspective.

Actually I was thinking of a guy I know who I used to admire.
Until it seemed he lost his identity in a relationship. Now he writes like her, talks like her and seems to have lost himself, in his single-minded obsession.
He used to be an interesting person...rebellious and individualistic, or so I thought. That's what drew me to him in the first place.
I've lost respect for him. It's rather sad.
The woman he is with keeps him intrigued by jealous mind-games and emotional black-mail. And he seems to be entirely oblivious to it, even though it's apparant to most everyone else.

I have no interest in dominating or being dominated (except of course in fun, ha),
but I couldn't be attracted to a man who couldn't think for himself and make his own decisions,or was easily manipulated, or especially one who was clueless to the difference between talk and substance.
I am open to vulnerabilites. We all have them, and I would be grateful that a man would be open and real with me that way.
But, I just don't have any interest in a lap-puppy.
Would hope for someone more interesting,complex and self-assured.

posted September 03, 2006 03:30 AM              

quote:

---

But, I just don't have any interest in a lap-puppy.
Would hope for someone more interesting,complex and self-assured.

---

Yup same here!

posted September 04, 2006 01:13 PM              

Most young men (and women) use control as a means to be assured that their partner will be theirs for a long time. Unfortunately, the Love equation does not work that way.

I learnt that to get mens' attention, you gotta be a btch . Else, they'd take you as their doormat. Rather like a eat or be eaten attitude.

However, this corrodes the foundation for a loving enduring relationship. I think the culprit is self-esteem and ego issues.

Unfortunately, people do not realise the destructiveness of it because our souls really long for love. And until both parties realise it (one will not do), they will think mind games are fun and the way to go, when in actuality we are all hurting each other.

posted September 05, 2006 12:58 AM              

I'm not really judgemental, as I might have sounded. I'm truly moved compassionately by broken-hearted posters and regardless of how it seems, I am very tempted to offer comfort, because I feel for them and don't believe it's something they are consciously aware of. It also always brings me back to times of my own hurt, so I can relate.
Maybe someone who has Sagittarian with Neptune(or Pisces), strong in their chart would understand what it's like to always look at the best of people and endure all sorts of cruelty and still believe in them. I will always think it's a beautiful quality and not weak as it might seem. Because it takes the greatest strength to endure such pains and disappointments and regardless, keep believing. But it's also damn dangerous!
Neptune/Jupiter has beautiful gifts, but they can only be truly benefitial if all of the gifts of Neptune/Jupiter are used. Like also using foresight and intuition into the inner motivations and aspirations of human nature.

I've went from extremes to being with hardcore junkies and heartless egotistical jacka*ses (always seeing their best qualities) to marrying someone who I probably wasn't right for, because I was fed up with all the a*ssholes and games, and my husband was finally at least a genuinely Real and good-hearted man. (Aries)
Never mind he was possesive, a tad of a control freak and our basic interests and natures entirely opposite.
I'm getting divorced, but back then, it felt right to me, so I have no regrets.
I was young, impulsive and so in 'love', I couldn't have foreseen all the problems that would arise far down the line.

I'm detatched now like I've never been before. I'm cautious (not a word, as a Sag, that I've ever used before,lol) and very selective. I do aim only to honor the honorable, but also I have to watch this too...so not to end up with someone who isn't right for me, just out of compassion for them.
I'm aloof and I've noticed the way I'm treated differently because of it.
But it's not an act to play a game of hook, line and sucker, it's really genuinely "don't bother me", because I suddenly feel like I can see into agendas with x-ray vision, and all I see is ego and insecurity and I dont' want to be bothered with it. Life is so short, I don't want to waste it with that stuff when I could be experiencing in more trascending ways.

So yeah, I've been there too.

posted September 09, 2006 03:39 AM            

Honoring the honorable... I like it. Nothing is more frustrating than reaching out to someone in need, only to realize that once they get the attention they're after, they're oblivious to your efforts.

Kinda makes you feel... used and foolish, huh?

posted September 09, 2006 09:04 AM              

This was one of the things I never chose to repeat....it seems too manipulative and like game playing to me...

I prefer to be honest and upfront.

posted September 09, 2006 09:42 AM              

My mum and I didnt have the same opinions...sometimes she used to look at me and say she didnt know where I came from...haha....bless her...

My sister told me once she said Mum said to her "we are in awe of her".

She was blonde and I dark. She was small, me tall and our taste in clothes and stuff was totally different. As for our morals, poles apart. I am more like my dad genetically..

But our love was strong and unyielding...even moreso now she has departed to a better place...