posted September 20, 2006 05:25 PM         

I'm a 31 y/o female Scorpio Sun/Mars/Mercury - Gemini Ascendant -
Venus 0 degrees Sag (so sort of a Scorp/Sag Venus).  The two previous
and ONLY loves of my life have been Virgo Men.

One gave me the one and only tattoo I will ever have (he told me never
to get another, and I will listen), a Tibetan Vishvavajra (diamond
sceptre, seat of enlightened ones) on the base of my spine.  I was a
mess then, and left on one of my frequent jaunts to god-knows-where to
follow a band...I was an aspiring rock journalist.  When I returned to
NYC, he (a transient) had left to return to Montreal.  I think he was
angry that I left so suddenly, and vanished out of abandonment.

The other I spent 1.5 years sleeping, drinking, partying and
inhabiting the live music scene with.  He treated me awfully, was also
a psycho mess at the time, but I loved him so much I stayed w/ him
despite the sexual assault, weird kinky soul violations, betrayal,
cocaine (!!), etc.

I'm now a full-time computer technician, trying to finance an early
retirement to focus on my arts interests.  I started a job six months
ago where I encountered a cool, kind, sweet, serious and brilliantly
perfectionistic twentysomething who was heading up the PC tech team.
I was desperately attracted to him instantly, though I think I was a
bit of a characteristic mess at the time (LOL).  Terrified of falling
in love with a co-worker, I dialed my obsession back considerably, and
after five months, managed to almost put the whole crush out of my
mind.
(whew!)

I've since sharpened up a lot -- I ended up getting a promotion!  And
what did my supervisor suggest to seal the promotion?  Moving me into
the SAME CUBE with said amazingly brilliant, beguiling, helpful and --
did I mention -- absolutely ADORABLE guy.  I freaked for a
bit...unsure I'd be able to handle the refreshed intensity of my
well-controlled feelings.

As all you Scorps out there can imagine, it was a total powderkeg for
me.  The top blew wide off my lidded love-feelings, and have almost
eaten me alive.  I discovered days after the move that he's a Virgo,
and something in me just relaxed, but also sweetened, and deepened.
It's been a bit over a month since the move, and we've shared so much
other than knowledge, jokes, fun, my sweet and artistic silly notes to
him, pranks and practical jokes, sick humor (the best!), flirtation,
shyness, physically close working intensely (like inches from each
other for hours), and separately working (mere feet apart) silence.

Right around the time I moved desks, my home PC broke! After a week of
avoiding asking him for help, I hit a wall and relented.  He knew the
answer in three seconds, and when I brought my motherboard in, he
proceeded to snatch it from me, clean and retool it, and within
another two weeks, replace brackets and fans, add a heatsink, and
totally solve the problem with great care and enthusiasm.  It's about
the sexiest, most wonderful and meaningful thing I've ever
experienced. How ridiculously symbolic...parts of him are permanently
attached to my motherboard, making it work better, for as long as it
will function.  GAHHHH!

I feel like I have shared the most exciting month of my life with him,
and finally, after a scant three weeks, was howling my eyes out to
friends, shattered and renewed by the terrible, amazing realization --
for all his annoying niggling, evil pranks, abstruse unemotionality,
maddening perfectionism, clockwork predictability and tightly-sealed
self-control, I had absolutely fallen in love with this guy!!!

Deus Ex Machina:  He started graduate school on his birthday (9/5), in
computer forensics (swoon).  That week, he began a part-time
schedule...only in on Mondays and Wednesdays.  I soon found out that,
as of the end of this month, he won't be working here anymore.
(**CRASH**)

Where I'm at now:  like the maniac I am, I asked him on a first date
to an art museum in the middle of nowhere on a Sunday, and maybe to
get dinner afterward.  He balked, as he helps his parents to renovate
an old country house Upstate each weekend ("my getaway!" he
protested), allegedly almost done.  I bristled, terrified that I was
even taking such a risk.  He then suggested lunch the next day.  I
shot back more protest because he knows what a perfectionist I am...I
rarely ever take a normal lunch, unlike him, who leaps up and out at
1PM every day.  He made everything quite complicated, and we never
came to an answer.  Yesterday, at lunch, I did the usual -- continued
plowing through tasks, and he too, went out to eat with the Network
team.  I felt confused, hurt, abandoned...

...he's not going to be here much longer, and I'm dying inside.  He's
joked about it a few times ("Ha, bet you'll be glad when I'm gone!"),
to my stony and completely horrified silence (which I hoped conveyed
my total and complete disgust that he'd even insult me with the
thought)...I've given him cute notes and even a copy of my favorite
cyberpunk sci-fi book for his birthday, even a South Park rendition of
him dreaming of binary numbers.

On Harvest Moon this month, I was even compelled to throw a Tarot
reading on the whole situation -- I did a Karma spread (because I feel
our pairing is truly cosmic -- and the answer was the 10 of
Stones...RICHNESS!  It told a fascinating story of courage and
seduction, sacrifice and perhaps a slow beginning...but I'm so
impatient and can be so mistrustful and paranoid, not to mention
self-hating and lacking in confidence.  I feel powerless over my fear
of losing him, and feel embarrassed that he might think I'm just nuts,
and not worth the hassle.  I know all of this, if he knew it, would
scare the living crap outta him, but I am really seeing how deep my
emotions are from this situation, and how a little of his practical
steadiness and reassurance does me a world of good...

In typical Virgo fashion, I've slyly given him my personal email +
phone #, but he hasn't called. I can understand being cautious about
getting into something @ work.  I'm not into demonstrative displays
either (duh), but his caution is being mistaken by me as disinterest
(which it could be)...

Biggest fear:  he's not interested in "that way," wants to be left
alone, and that our friendship will die on the vine.  I don't want to
lose him...I have fallen hard, and am losing productivity over my
despair.  I know it's very UN-VIRGO, and that he's probably just hard
at work in his first weeks of school...not even thinking of me.

Deepest suspicion: that he loves me too, even if only as a friend, but
will need more time and trust for us to come together in any way.

Biggest hope: that we'll become lifelong friends, perhaps lovers
(though fear of ruining that friendship makes me hesitant to go
anywhere!), or at most, life partners who will build artistic and
cybernetic empires, bearing brilliant, kind, intense and enlightened
children, snuggling by a fire in that Upstate house the love of his
hands has built... (*sigh*)

Any comments will be appreciated.  Like I said, I'm so grateful to
have a place to vent...sorry if I went on too long!!!  ;-)

-- PhoenixRisingNYC

He:
Sun/Mercury in Virgo - not sure of ascendant
Mars in Scorpio
Moon/Venus in Cancer (awww, so perfect!)

Me:
Sun/Mars/Mercury in Scorpio - Gemini ascendant
Moon in Aquarius
Venus 0 degrees Scorpio + Sagittarius

posted September 22, 2006 08:01 AM         

To be honest I had same kind of experience only difference guy wasn't leaving I was leaving. I am scorp female.I am trying to forget him is just because he has a gf and we might not meet again. I am being very practical. Every detail you mentioned just made me remember days I had.

In your case, It would take him about some time till he misses you or something.I guess you have some patience.If you both had such a wonderful time Virgo don't forget and with what details you have explained all this I am sure he has also remember everything very typical Virgo-ish.

The line he told you that you would be really happy if he would be gone is to check whether you care. Virgo say such things to just see reaction.

It's also because I am not sure all but some virgos do find it easier to communicate personally or think what would I write to her.Shyness.kind of thing...

Good luck and trust me if you had good time I think he would contact you.