posted September 28, 2006 09:10 AM         

I think I needed to learn those lessons otherwise I would've written cancer-guy off as way too young, too eager to please, someone who'd do and say anything. And thought him no way near as special, open and wise as he truly is.

I don't mind if things go no further with cancer-guy cos he's made me see exactly what I was missing out on and what I deserve. Hope he wasn't just another lesson too though!

Its the little things I've noticed about him that I appreciate the most. I never thought about what was missing with pisces-boy but now I see. Maybe thats the ultimate lesson, I wouldn't appreciate the little things had they not been lacking before.

Pisces-boy and I seemed to have nice synastry and our first contact chart was pretty good. Except William at the 'astrology' forum said our composite was one of the strongest sex, drugs and rock n roll charts he'd seen. I had to laugh but he was probably right.

Maybe the good synastry explained the feelings but in the end it was a hard learned lesson. I wanna do my synastry with cancer-guy but I don't know his exact details yet.

I'm actually a little afraid to find its really good (kinda get the feeling it is,lol) cos I thought pisces-boy's was too. I do want to know the bad things though so I know how to deal with them.

posted September 28, 2006 08:39 PM         

Just when you have him hooked into your emotional storm, you two make out and then you are confused again right?

Yes, it's normal water people love. It's tortured, emotional, demanding, and deep. It's just the way you work, and it's a process of learning about yourself.

Don't repeat mistakes, and focus on what you know. At least you know you like water men, it took me a while to learn I liked water and earth the best.

Go for the pisces, bounce it off of him, have a drink together, don't be afraid because he's not going to be that demanding. Open and be trusting, because it's what you need to do for yourself.

If you don't feel a deep connection go back to the Cancer but make sure both know you are weighing the other, don't confess anything intimate.

Take your time and be demanding and the one man who spends the most time listening and nurturing you is your true friend and lover.

Yes I do this, I am demanding and I want a man who will understand if I want cake for breakfast. It's my nature.

Then again I'm attracted to Pisces, Cancer, Virgo, and Cap men myself so I relate to the experience.

Let your emotions be wild and free.

posted September 28, 2006 10:14 PM         

I was quite rude to cancer-guy after we were together cos I felt so guilty about pisces-boy and was pretty sure cancer-guy wouldn't have looked twice at me sober (pisces insecurities- unbeleivable!).

Cancer-guy knew all about pisces-boy (they grew up together) and listened to all my complaining, he listened about everything actually and shared a lot of himself. He was so jealous of him though and put himself forward as the perfect boyfriend, provider, step-father which really freaked me out.

Pisces-boy has had 8 months to work out what he wants and I sent him a text after I saw cancer-guy but he didn't answer. He always kinda treated me like his personal play thing and cancer-guy is twenty times better looking (which doesn't mean much to me but pisces-boy has serious self-esteem issues) so I think he probably thinks he can't compete.

I think I just need proper closure with pisces-boy, regardless of anything else. Even if nothing more happens with cancer-guy at least I know what I need that I certainly never got from pisces-boy. We spent hours talking about everything, communication flowed so easily with him and he is one of the kindest, giving people I've ever known.

Also think I may have been a bit scared when I hooked up with cancer-guy because he is just too perfect. I don't mean that literally, but even his faults make me appreciate who he is more. I kinda wondered why on earth he would be interested in me.

I know I've got issues, my ex of 7 years screwed with my head so badly I'm surprised I'm still sane. I actually went to a psychologist just before we sperarated cos he convinced me I was crazy to be unhappy. She told me I was so far from crazy it just wasn't funny. He's a nightmare I only have to deal with him because of the kids now thank god.

posted September 29, 2006 08:54 AM         

Was feeling insecure all week that maybe cancer-guy was just drunk when he kept asking me out.

Had to work up the courage to ask my best friend what she thought (she doesn't pull punches and gave me a LOT of grief over pisces-boy, who's her neighbour incidently). I sent her a text message and asked her if she thought cancer-guy'd have dinner with me if I asked him or if it was just a drunk thing. She seemed surprised I thought that, she was there at the time and text back saying she thought he wanted to go out with me and have dinner as well.

Too easy it seems so far!

I text saying he was the easiest person to talk to but he's so good looking it scares me. She text saying 'you'll be right' I swear I could almost see her smirking.

posted September 29, 2006 11:03 AM         

Thanks sthenri this seemed like a answer to a question that was looming in my head.

Omega22: I feel what you are going through it must be in the air..

posted September 29, 2006 12:36 PM         

Even though a man is normally nice and open and trusting when he wants to be intimate and that can seem like a front-it's really a normal relating process when a man sees a woman upset and wants to help her.

The same things that make you insecure are the things the Cancer is attracted and to and he wouldn't understand why that's a drawback. He probably feels you are super feminine and that longing and emotion makes him feel needed.

Cancers are big on being needed and loved that way, so opening up and talking is the biggest turn on you can do-it's nothing to do with the way you look. Personal magnetism between people is there, but poorly understood.

Love with someone can be easy when there are fewer doubts. About the Pisces-After analyzing the doubts it's good to put that person on the back burner for a while and pursue the option that is moving forward.

The Cancer sounds like he wants to move forward and do things and that's attractive, honest, and a little naive. Maybe his only flaw is that he wants to please you and he has to do that for someone. (He's a pleaser not a teaser).

You'll see flaws eventually.

Also I have Gemini Mercury/7th house so I am familiar with the overanalyzing. Let me say something about Cancer men, which is that they are fantastic confidants, and love the intimacy of talking and helping.

They are blunt, honest, and know what to do in most situations, even when they are involved. That can make them seem steady and not passionate enough but they really do unveil themselves later to be passionate, and demanding (and exciting).

posted September 29, 2006 05:47 PM         

I've seen the photos of your hunky virgo friend, I'm sure you relate about the too good looking thing!

Good luck with your decision!

Natasha-

posted September 29, 2006 05:53 PM         

*mind drifting off into thoughts**

LOL!!!

posted September 30, 2006 05:02 AM         

Its kinda scary cos I have a huge fear of rejection, but we communicate so easily and nicely that even if he doens't want to take it any further I can still see us being friends. He is just that easy to talk to.

posted September 30, 2006 08:04 AM         

I sense you need to be comfortable with yourself first. Dont let any man drag you around again like the last guy. Trust me when I say Ive been there(once and never again), So I cringe when I read what youve written because I remember feeling that way and I remember never wanting to feel that way again. I hope you find what you're looking for.

------------------
"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

posted September 30, 2006 08:34 AM         

Thanks for your reply, I know where you're coming from!

I don't think he's there as the missing piece. I have a full life at the moment, even pisces-boy was mainly something to moan about when everything else has been going right.

I've always thought highly of cancer-guy in the past but I haven't seen him since before I seperated from my ex. This attraction is nothing new, I'm simply allowed to be attracted to him now because I'm single.

I don't know if I'm ready for anything serious. My ex and I have been seperated for a year (together for 7 emotionally battering years) and he screwed with my head. I let pisces-boy get away with a lot but I kinda think it made me realise what I DON'T want.

The soul searching I've been doing in the past week has been pretty intense. At first I pushed myself away from cancer-guy because, like you said, I didn't want to replace one crush with another. And I felt alot of unjustified guilt over what happened.

I've got some 'rules' in my head now, some of which were lessons from my ex, some of which were also lessons from pisces-boy. At this stage I want to hang out casually with cancer-guy (NO sex) and really get to know one another. I won't let myself get swept away by him because my ex did that and it scares me.

We talked for hours and hours last time we saw each other, and hours again in the morning. He is someone I really relate to and want to get to know better. I instinctively feel I can trust him and he's already shown a tremendous amount of respect for my wishes with regards to pretty much everything.

posted September 30, 2006 08:40 AM         

Hugs to you.

Ps- if you want, when you find Cancer boy's info, I'll use my program for a synastry reading for you.

------------------
"WHATEVER the soul longs for, WILL be attained by the spirit"

"Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation"

posted September 30, 2006 08:45 AM         

Will let you know about cancer-guy when I know. Lol!