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Author Topic:   Love @ first sight... : )
FirstSight
unregistered
posted October 14, 2006 01:56 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Hi there all!!

It has been awhile since I have been to Linda Land, but I recently had an experience that brought me right back here to share and learn.

All those things that older people tell you about love...like "love will find you" or "love happens when you least expect it". Those sayings used to irritate me, but they are true. I still don't know if I believe in love at first sight, but I think I got as close to it as I ever will again.

And I just wanted to share my story here in Linda Land where others might relate, might not judge or put down my mushy love story. And maybe you can give me some insight.

So my heart still hurts today and if I new at the time that it would hurt this much I never would have written my number on that bar napkin and given it to my girlfriend to give to him as we left the bar. Looking back, it was not a conscious effort...it was more mechanical, it did not seem like I was given the option to leave without making contact with him. Now I am not trying to imply that there was anything to do with fate, but I am just telling what happened.

It was girls night out as are most nights when I go out. There were about 5 of us and we were having a great time. It was my girlfriends birthday...she was 99.5% plastered by this time, and we were all busy in conversation and it seemed as though we had taken over the bar with a crowd around us.

And He walked by and I remember just saying to my girlfriend who was next to me, "oh my god did you see that guy?"
It's true he is/was gorgeous...so it probably makes for a pretty simple attraction, right?
And I did not see him look at me once. I didn't think that he even noticed me. So, honestly I did not think too much about him after that until we were leaving the bar. And Without even thinking, I handed my number to my girlfriend and asked her to do the delivery. I did not think he would call. Not at all!

The next day he texted me and asked if I wanted to hang out, but I was busy, and for the next 2 weeks we continued texting one another trying to find time.

Finally he texted me "last night in the city" and asked if I wanted to come hang out with him and friends... I did not know what he meant. I texted him back..."Are you leaving forever?" but he never responded.

I was so tired that night, but I made an effort to go meet this beautiful person who had yet to speak one word to me.

We met at an underground party. It turns out that he is Swiss and returning home the following day.
"No big deal" I thought I might as well hang out and get a few free drinks. But as the night went on I felt very comfortable with him, and never felt any type of negative energy from him. My friends left early, and I ended up going to his friends house with him.
I will just tell you that it was a long night, and we all had a great time!!!

and I woke in the late late morning laying in his arms. (we had not had sex at that point) I remember trying to get up but he was holding me so tightly that I could not move and I did not try...just went back to sleep.
That day he called the airlines and extended his trip for 2 more days at which point his Visa would expire.
For the next 2 days We were inseparable, I called in sick to work, and we just spent time together...laying in bed and just hanging out around town. He even went with me to my dental appointment.

It was so easy, and so comfortable. It was sweet, we both acted as if we had been together for years. We sat on the same side of the table in restaurants.
We bought wine and frozen pizza and ate in bed. We took showers together. We both just naturally paid attention to one another's needs...
if he needed a napkin or a fork I would jump up and get it...if I needed a doggy bag he would jump up and get it.

However on the night before I would drive him to the airport, we were forced to be apart for a few hours, and after, on my way to meet him I felt so anxious, I could not drive fast enough to see him. I was in such a hurry. I thought my heart was going to explode.
He was with his friends drinking at a local bar. When I got there he was outside waiting for me. He hugged me a long, long hug and said "it seems like it's been so long". which is weird cause I had felt the same

He said so many things to me which made it so easy for me to open up my heart to him in those 2 days.
I have never met a man like him.

On the first day when he was supposed to leave he gave me these 2 beads held together by a peice of string...
really looked like something you'd find on the floor and probably just sweep it up into the trash can.
He just handed it to me and said,"here something to remember my by" I just thought it was kinda funny/goofy at that point.

The next day we were walking in the store and he asked me if I still had it. I acted like it didn't matter, but he wanted me to know what it meant. He said that one bead is smaller than the other and the bigger bead is there to protect the smaller bead he said"it's just like me and you, I am bigger than you".

he would just surprise me with these sweet things.

I asked him why we met, what was the point since he was just leaving anyway.I told him I believed in coincidence
And he told me that he believed there was a reason for everything. He believed in fate.

He asked me not to forget him and not to get married before he came back.

And we said goodbye in the airport terminal he said neither of us new the ending to our story yet.

After he left I felt like a part of me had died. I went to work that day and cried the entire day. I could not stop crying for the next week I cried.
I called my aunt on the phone every day and she was so nice cause she would just listen to me cry. I just needed someone to tell me I was not crazy. I have never missed anyone like this...
I have been in long term relationships in the past, one for 7 years with someone who I loved very much, but I have never been this attached to anyone so quickly.

He really disrupted my life. I was actually quite happy before I met him, and I was happy being single. And sure I wanted to meet someone, but I was content alone.

After he left I felt like there was something missing from my life. I felt like there was a death in my life.
It is still pretty recent since he left, but I can tell the story with only a few tears now.
And once he returned we exchanged a few emails, and I, in an attempt to push him away, I made up a reason to be angry with him, thinking that it would be easier if we did not have any more communication. I wrote him a crazy email knowing that any man would not respond thinking I was just a crazy psycho woman.
Aww, but not him. He responded and told me how hurt he was that I would request not to have contact with him and how he would like to remember us sweetly until we meet again.
Of course he would respond.

One thing I learned about him is what a special person he is, how he never ever said a mean thing about anyone. How he would look at me sometimes with such innocent eyes. How he came here traveling alone and left knowing so many people who appeared to be loyal devoted friends to him.

But I have decided that I don't want to experience saying goodbye like this again
and so...
I like to think that it's just infatuation nothing more... that he did not mean any of what he said...that he is just a typical male and "it was just sex". Cause I know that I can never go through saying good bye to him again. So I just quit returning his emails... and eventually we will both forget.
And yes I can always go to switzerland to see him, and he will come back here someday.
but that is niether here nor there...


Anyway, that is my story...I am sorry I made it so long and I sincerely hope that I do not seem pathetic to you all. But I thank you for letting me share my thoughts...it really helps to get it out. Especially when it's about love...there is nothing wrong with love, right?

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OzMeg222
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: victoria, australia
Registered: Aug 2009

posted October 14, 2006 02:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for OzMeg222     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Are you nuts???

Get on a plane and go get your boy!

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themysteryclub
unregistered
posted October 14, 2006 02:29 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i think your story is beautiful, tragic, and strange...like a movie a little bit. One thing I don't understand: you are so focused on protecting yourself that you are pushing away something that fufills you and makes you happy. I hope everything works out for the best...I feel a little sorry for your lover, because he is probably dying inside because you won't contact him...he might even feel betrayed. I have had someone I deeply cared about push me away, probably for the same reasons you are pushing him away, and I felt totally violated and rejected and destroyed. But that is only my take on things. I will not attempt to tell you what to do..you know more about the situation than I do

Good luck with everything!

TMC

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and
Newflake

Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Apr 2011

posted October 14, 2006 02:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for and     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
.

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Dulce Luna
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 14, 2006 08:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
LMAO @ OzMeg!


Yeah girl, what were you thinking??? Go get your man!!!!

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Stargazer
Knowflake

Posts: 46
From: just left of center
Registered: May 2009

posted October 14, 2006 11:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stargazer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your story touched me

I understand about getting it out... as a way of dealing with it all... and that you are not asking for advice..

But...here is my two shiny pennies

You sound like someone who doesn't want to believe they are worthy of the experience you shared.. You chalk it up to infatuation and make up reasons to be angry...
Love is precious... it is the greatest gift of all.... Sometimes you can tell a lie so big, it will change your whole life.. at least be honest with yourself and him...
Regret is soul-wrenching....

(steps off soap box)....

------------------
"The only limits are those of vision"

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FirstSight
unregistered
posted October 14, 2006 10:37 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you all for your comments.

Yes, believe me, after he left my goals in life completely shifted and my only desire was to fly as soon as I possibly could to see him.
But after a few emails back and forth, I do begin to feel insecure about his feelings for me and I have begun to question everything that he said to me. As he was very open in person, but not so much in email. And with that I figure...if love is true or there...it will find a way. I don't need to push it, but I also don't need to wait for it.
After he left, I cried everyday, and I still cry at night sometimes just because I miss him. I could not eat for a week. In the span of 7 days I ate half of a salad and half of a cup of soup. I did not sleep very well. This is something I would prefer to never experience again. In a way, I do not feel like my reaction is healthy. And that is what concerns me. And that is why I begin to question everything. I have to figure out why I am reacting like this...if it is coming from fear or something else.

Time will tell it always does...

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Jazzebel
unregistered
posted October 15, 2006 12:32 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
but what are your birth details, for you and him? We sure would love to take a look at your synastry.
It feels like a magnetic bond, the way it started.

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Jan_A
unregistered
posted October 16, 2006 05:00 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your story is amazing. Thank you.

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lovely*
unregistered
posted October 16, 2006 11:41 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
your story has heart and soul/ i feel it.

did you ever talk on the phone? email can be a bit dodgy as it doesn;t express half a persons true nature.

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CrankyCap
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: Ohio
Registered: May 2009

posted October 17, 2006 12:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
FS -

What an incredibly beautiful and touching story! It was nice to read, and it actually reminded me of a similar incident I had with someone nearly 10 years ago now (wow I'm old!).

All I can say is that I understand your hesitation and your instinct to protect yourself. You could try and make this work, but yes, the odds are stacked against you. You're stuck with a dilemma: Go after him and risk even bigger heartache (possibly the biggest of your life) but then again, it could also be the greatest triumph of your life and bring you true happiness, or you can go on with a beautiful, magical memory of one of the best weekends of your life...a secret that belongs to you and only you, and you can hold it in your heart until your 95 years old. It's a difficult decision, and I don't envy you. I think certain people are brought into our lives to make it more alive, even if they're only with us briefly. We take from it what we can, and these experiences change us and shape who we are and who we become. Whether it lasts or not, be thankful that it happened at all.

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teaologist
unregistered
posted October 17, 2006 06:14 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Has anyone seen the 'Before Sunrise' and 'Before Sunset'...? Kind of reminds me of your story... instant psychic synchronicity... shweet... grab that man and put him in your pocket.

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BlueEyes24
unregistered
posted October 18, 2006 08:56 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
FirstSight-

Your story was touching & beautiful. I really believe that everything happens for a reason, and I think that you met this man for a reason. You should keep contact with him, because you never know what could happen. I had a situation similar to yours...except I was the one leaving. I met my boyfriend a week before I was leaving for a University across the country, that week we spent everyday together, and I felt so comfortable with him, just like you felt with your guy. When I left, we continued to talk on the phone every night, and he ended up driving 10 hours to see me at school. Needless to say, it hurt me to be away from him, I left school to attend a closer school to him, because I felt it was the right decision, and we're still together over a year later.

You never know what can happen from staying in contact with each other, it may hurt to be away from him, but you never know what can happen with you two in the future. Good luck!

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lovely*
unregistered
posted October 19, 2006 01:22 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
to the top!

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cancerrg
unregistered
posted October 19, 2006 05:10 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
and i fell in love with you two in the very first read !
dont let him go , lady!

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GypsyDancer1221
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: Charlotte, NC, USA
Registered: Jan 2010

posted November 10, 2006 10:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypsyDancer1221     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
KEEP CONTACT WITH HIM!!! I don't think this in infatuation at all; he may be one of your soul mates, if not your actual twin soul! Pushing him away will not only hurt him, it will hurt you SO much more! Don't deny yourself the one you love, especially not if he reciprocates! I believe that everything will work out well with him and it is SUCH a beautiful story of how you met! *sniff* It's WAY better than LifteTime or Oxygen movies! Anyway, I truly wish you the best, and I hope that everything turns out well. Stay strong, you'll see him again. I don't know how it is to miss someone THAT much because I've never been that close to anyone, but I can relate. Be safe, and hang in there!
~ Coco

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Fluke
Newflake

Posts: 0
From: Norway
Registered: Oct 2009

posted November 11, 2006 03:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Fluke     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How wonderful, and how sad... Hope things go well for you, whatever happens!

------------------
Gemini Sun
Libra Moon
Cancer Rising

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lovely*
unregistered
posted December 31, 2006 01:34 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
~bump~

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wolfbaby
unregistered
posted December 31, 2006 05:12 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Your story is so touching. It almost made me cry...

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eatbooks
unregistered
posted December 31, 2006 05:19 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i get a feeling this story was complete BS...i mean its very beautiful story but why would someone new come to soul unions and then never come back again? 2 posts? strange sh1t if you ask me...

Maybe its a writer, trying out their work on the masses...thats my general feeling.....

------------------
your pain is my pain, is that love?

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Natural111
unregistered
posted December 31, 2006 07:49 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Eatbooks....LOLOLOL!!!!!

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Gemini Nymph
unregistered
posted December 31, 2006 10:55 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Damn, eatbooks. That shows a lot of the kind of person you are, digging this up months after the fact and attacking someone who's not around anymore. And people think I'm the a**hole around here. At least when I criticize someone, I try to make sure they're still around to see it. People deserve a chance to defend themselves, afterall. If you're going to shoot your mouth, try to do it with a little integrity OK?

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wolfbaby
unregistered
posted January 01, 2007 02:36 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Eatbooks...

Probably has very bad mood...

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Dulce Luna
Newflake

Posts: 7
From: The Asylum, NC
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 01, 2007 12:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Dulce Luna     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
That shows a lot of the kind of person you are, digging this up months after the fact and attacking someone who's not around anymore


Yeah, except she's not the one who bumped this thread.

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lovely*
unregistered
posted January 03, 2007 02:09 AM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i agree with you eatbooks
yep i've wondered the same. that's why i persist.

gem nymph, you may need to adjust your perception. eatboooks has earned the right to question the legitimacy of the story.

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