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Author
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Topic: Mother-daughter "fun"
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Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 1057
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted November 09, 2006 11:40 PM
 
Man oh man...our relationship has not been pretty these days. She is a Virgo and constantly criticizing me. It's like she never stops nagging and picking at me. I think it has really taken it's toll on my self-esteem. I feel a lot of anger towards her because of this. Sometimes I just wish I could stop speaking to her altogether, but she is my mother and I do love her. I don't want things to be like this, but it seems hopeless. I know talking to her about it won't help. Been there, done that. We just don't seem to be very compatible. Anyhow, this is just a rant, I don't even know if I'm asking for advice, but I guess I just needed to vent, and was just wondering if anyone can relate at all to any of this.....? IP: Logged |
OzMeg222
Knowflake Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Jul 2006
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posted November 10, 2006 12:10 AM
My gemini friend has the same problem with her virgo mother. Her father's also virgo and they play happy families but apparently shoulda divorced years ago.
Its hard for me to sit in the same room with my friend and her mother; her mother picks, she bites back then her mother asks me if I talk to my mother like that.
Tricky. Especially since my friend is a mother herself.
I feel for you, although I get along pretty well with my mum. She's a libran and won't voice her disapproval she just gets a certain air about her thats worse I think.IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 6933
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 10, 2006 04:36 AM
GooberI hear you very well....and like you in the past I talked to my parents and thought 'whats the point" but I found I had to keep on doing it, almost like a dripping tap...and eventually it gets through, especially if done without anger and aggression. I know this is really hard, but I feel it would be best to bring it out in the open.(again),Try remaining calm and saying something like "look Mum, I know you love me but sometiems I find the criticisms very hurtful, please dont do this". Then give her a big hug and walk away. For years I felt my Dad criticised me and compared me with my elder sister. She dont hardly talk to him now and I and he are very close. I assert myself with him now. I do it gently with love. Like the day of the funeral he was attacking me a little and I said "Dad I know you are upset, but please dont attack me, I wont take this and I am not up for it...okay". He backed down immediately and then apologised. They are our parents....we shouldnt fear them really....speak to her....look her in the eyes and talk from your heart....you are her baby. She is wrong to put you down...tell her this...tell her it hurts...then leave it with her... Will be with you when you do this...its something so close to my heart...the struggle to be heard, to be seen to be accepted, to be loved, but most of all... To be respected... If you reach a point where you think nothing is happening and she isnt listening, I would tell her that you will have to stand back from her for a while until she can learn to treat you with more kindness and respect. Love and luck be with you...please let us know how it goes.. Bless you...  xxx IP: Logged |
comica23
Knowflake Posts: 64
From: Portugal
Registered: Sep 2006
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posted November 10, 2006 08:21 AM
Interesting.. my mom and I are both Virgo ascendants.. I had a hard time surviving with her constant picking up and criticism, without much emotional support and understanding (she's a Capri Moon lol).. ^_^; her Virgo criticisms are annoying and brings my confidence down lotsa times, and my Virgo takes these criticisms too serious and personal..
But I understand that she wanted me to try hard and to be the best of myself.. anyways, like she said, if she doesn't care about me she wouldn't even bother to talk to me.. ^_^
My bro is a Virgo Sun also, and their argues can be very annoying lolol.. XPIP: Logged |
Gooberzlostlovefound
Knowflake Posts: 1057
From: and the embers never fade in your city by the lake
Registered: Jan 2002
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posted November 11, 2006 02:39 AM
Meg~The situation you described with your friend and her mother sounds all too familiar. Thankfully, though, I get along really well with my dad. I guess 1 out of 2 isn't bad. Sue~ Thanks.  I know deep down that you're right....it's going to be really, really hard for me, though. I don't even know if I can do it in the immediate future -- everything seems too shaky right now. But I guess I have to keep trying, because the alternative isn't that great, is it?  Thanks for your kind words, believe me, I will keep them in mind............ IP: Logged |
Inner depths
Knowflake Posts: 224
From: The Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth City!
Registered: May 2006
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posted November 15, 2006 01:16 PM
My relationship with my mom has not been a good mother-daughter relationship for the longest time. She would lecture me when I had a problem of two in my life. I'd tell her what was happening in my life and she'd blow up. She is a Leo with 2 Virgo Planets.This year I put it to her straight and it has ceased - I told her that yes I'm still her child but I'm an adult now and don't need any more lectures from her. Her and I are on the same playing field and she has no more power/authority over me. Now we get along just fine..... ID IP: Logged |
sue g
Knowflake Posts: 6933
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 15, 2006 01:20 PM
Inner DepthsWonderful to read!!! Well done girl!! I hope our son can always be as open with me and by the looks of it he will....already at aged 8 he does, in a very diplomatic manner, tell me when I am out of line.... Hahaha!!! IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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