posted December 01, 2006 07:51 AM
Natasha you seem to be deleting a heck of a lot of posts lately! Never feel you have to do that, I've written some things I cringe over but I don't think I've ever deleted them!
Since this thread is now empty thought I'd use your topic title to say something I didn't want to start a thread on but feel like saying.
Pisces again? Title is appropriate.
Pisces-boy and I text for hours last night, thought we'd gotten past this and were going to stay away from one another but sure enough he text me, wasn't too late either surprisingly.
He wanted to hook up and when I said no he got into this self-pity mood that was kinda pathetic really but I can empathise cos I'm insecure too. We chatted for a while and I brought up that I'd been with cancer-guy, which he knew already (sort of). He didn't have a problem with that, but when I said I felt bad for hanging with him when cancer-guy was asking after me cos I was kinda into him he got funny.
Text me 8 separate times asking Name?
I explained I didn't think anything was going to happen there anyway so did it really matter? Told him he knew him, he was shy and I didn't feel comfortable telling him. He kept asking though. I asked why and he replied he was just concerned about me. Probably the nicest thing he's ever said to me, how silly!
I'm sure he knows exactly who it was and I'm not sure why the heck he was wanting me to say his name. Its almost like he doesn't want to believe it, that it must've been someone else. Hints I gave him were so obvious though. In the end I asked him if he was really clueless or was he just trying to get me to admit it.
It was strange but I felt like if I text cancer-guys name it would be betraying him somehow. Cancer-guy and I have spoken about pisces-boy a few times and that didn't bother me, but the thought of sharing things about cancer-guy with pisces-boy seemed so wrong. Its just so personal.
I guess thats the big difference.
I'm staying away from anything more than platonic friendships with all men at the moment, pisces-boy doesn't seem to understand that. I think he may feel I'm just waiting to see if cancer-guy will come running. Not true, I'm happy as I am, life is good and far too hectic at the moment to think about that stuff.
I did apologise to pisces-boy for all the times I'd been horrible to him, admitted I'd never been so mean to anyone in my life. He said it was a 2 way street, which is very true. It was nice to be honest with him, we text so many things I probably couldn't say to his face before the cancer-guy thing came up. Thought we'd had closure last time but I think I said things I needed to say last night, I wasn't emotional at all just factual. He doesn't have that effect on me anymore. We were nice, think we could even be friends and a few months ago I thought that could never happen cos it'd be too painful. WEird how things change.
SOrry for hijacking this thread! Just hated to see it empty!