Posts: 1377
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted January 27, 2007 11:41 PM         

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Ughh everything says its an unequal relationship and there is some form of inequality. Well the inequality lies in the fact that only one person is happy at a time. Not two are happy and open and loving together. One has to love the other has to run, when the first one stops and starts loving the other runs and so on in an unending cycle. How does one avoid being selfish? I have tried my best but i refuse to sacrafice my happiness and self esteem. Perhaps I should look to my ASC for a balance and not see it as my own worst enemy.

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Sun-Gemini
Moon-Scorpio
ASC-Libra

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Posts: 8807
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted January 27, 2007 11:54 PM         

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Hey BUD,
Zala had a great post in the Astrology Forum
what astrology can and cannot do for you..or something close to that...

LOve Overcomes ALL obstacles

and we are the one's that allow ourSelves to feel the way we feel, so it is all up to US on how we choose to SEE and FEEL things. ...

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Posts: 2050
From:
Registered: Jul 2004

posted January 28, 2007 12:24 AM         

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Lotus - Platitudes like that are just useless. Love can over come obstacle, only if both people put in an equal effort. Love isn't magic anymore than astrology is. Relationships take work, and I completely understand what BUD is saying: that a 6H composite Sun suggests there might be a problem with one person doing all the work in the relationship.

BUD - if this relationship is taking its toll on your self-esteem, then get out. Now. That's the biggest of the big red flags right there. Screw the fluffy talk about "love conquers all" and all that crappola - if your self-esteem is hurting, this isn't a loving relationship and it should end so you can move on to an real loving relationship.

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Posts: 8807
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted January 28, 2007 12:27 AM         

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I guess what I was really trying to say is not to rely only on astrolgy, there is much more to it! Karma, you know!

nothing that can't be fixed!

LOve and Respect to ALL. ...

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Posts: 1377
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted January 28, 2007 01:24 AM         

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Dear Lotus i noticed that post and apreciated it plenty. I actually dont belive everything to a T anymore. I was just musing about my current circumstances. While its true i do all the work in the relationship or most of it he has been definately trying lately. But the issue is it seems we are trully happy with OURSELVES one at a time in this relationship. For example I am very happy with life and myself right now, my self esteem is good and all the works but I dont know if he is happy. It seems as if freedom makes each of us happy when he seeks freedom hes happy but i become sad because I wonder what goes on, and vice versa.

Thank you so much Gemini Nymph and i agree with you 100% but in fact i didnt get out when it was hurting my self esteem and now i see that it was really I who was doing the hurting. I think i was projecting my own feelings onto him. I think we both needed some space and i gave myself space and oddly enough im enjoying it and life and the works. I just feel as if the things that make me happy will be at his expense.

Dear Lotus, I know what you meant sweetheart, i have taken that advice and give it to all now because i used to panic over astrology. Mainly because transits spell change and i hate change. Darn fixed moon lol. BUt im embracing it now and i guess what happens happens, i really did miss out on life while worrying it actually aint so bad out there.

Thank you all sooo very much for all your help. All this musing comes from the fact that i sat in the bookstore yesterday and picked up Linda Goodman's love signs and thought to myself just how much this woman changed my life. I joined this site in October and went through a bigger transformation than I think i could have ever done on my own. So thank you all for all the help, after all the lows the highs do come. LOL sadly they dont last long so im pretty sure ill have another complaint but for now im content and very very greateful

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Posts: 8807
From: piopolis, quebec canada
Registered: Jul 2005

posted January 28, 2007 01:38 AM         

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you and your man..have special harmonics..you resonate nicely...when you feel it's not equal..speak up, communicate, and make it equal..
Only you know..follow your Heart..to Mind..to OverSoul=God. ...

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Posts: 960
From:
Registered: Apr 2006

posted January 28, 2007 01:57 AM         

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Oh BUD, I'm sorry you're feeling bad about this still... I do believe that if both people really love each other, it can work. But BOTH SIDES have to work - one person can't be expected to do it all. I also believe that every single thing in a chart can be overcome - it just so happens that some things take more work than others and might require compromise. Does he love you? Based on what I know of the two of you, YES he does. And if he wants you to keep loving him (and he does), he will need to make more effort than he's currently been doing. At the same time, and I can safely say this because I've suffered the same thing, you need to rely less on him. Rely less on the relationship and know that you are you, a person with your own life that isn't focused on this relationship. Set yourself free mentally, and you will be happier. Not allowing this relationship to control you, through your own free will, will minimise the effects of the composite 6th house sun. But what else is composite sun in the 6th good for? Is it a good placement for working together, for example? Channel the energy into something positive.

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Posts: 4441
From: Generic New England City
Registered: May 2003

posted January 28, 2007 08:49 AM         

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deleted posts

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Posts: 8356
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004

posted January 28, 2007 09:22 AM         

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I used to think love could overcome everything too...

Dont think that anymore....

I remember my sister saying once...."sometimes love just isnt enough"

Am these days tending to agree....people claiming that they love each other and yet treating each other badly...

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Posts: 273
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006

posted January 28, 2007 11:44 AM         

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Sorry that you are going tough this sweets. Well I am gonna take a non-astrological approach:

Ask yourself this: Is this mutually benifitial? Are both of us happy in this relationship? Have we given it all we got? or are we holing back something? and if so, why?

You have to keep yourself in the picture as well BUD. yes offcourse in a relationship, its all about equal compromise but when he/she gives up too much of themselves and not recieving equal benifit for it, it ain't worth it.

Having an unhappy you isn't benifitial to others in your life (your family, our friends or anyone else who might need you besides your lover.)you need to be in tip-top shape emotionally to help them as well as your partner.

Relationships are always a two way street.

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Posts: 960
From:
Registered: Apr 2006

posted January 28, 2007 04:51 PM         

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Blimmin' heck! I just found that my bf's sun, Mercury, Venus and Saturn are ALL in my sixth house!!! And my Pluto is in his sixth house. Interesting... I have transformed the way he works... he does try to boss me around though, as I also do to him... however, he knows that bossing me around does not work! I also feel that we would be good work partners, but it's a matter of each one of us giving up control and learning to compromise in that area... to learn from each other... we have already discussed starting a business or various projects together, but I don't think the time is right...

I also agree that you must be happy, BUD... I think, if he isn't prepared to make you happy then what's going on? I know he loves you, but I think he's taking you for granted... I have been there with a man who took me for granted... in my experience, in the long run it will be at Zed's expense. Harsh but true...

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Posts: 1377
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted January 28, 2007 07:44 PM         

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Dear Xodian you're definately right. Its a philosophy upon which I arrived as of lately and i definately agree. Settling for anything isnt good. Im actually quite happy right now because I have learned what is trully important. The issue was the question of how much work is too much? I mean the work we did seems to have paid off and we are okay but i wonder if the issues were just swept under the rug. I definately think you're right and im glad i stopped my previous ways because they certainly werent getting anywhere.

Dear GeminiLover - You most certainly are right and thank you for reminding me to not be so soft. They really do take us for granted so if one week they are in a good mood and suddenly decide to be sweet there is no need to suddenly feel bad. LOL You're right life is way too short and fun to be wasted like that! Thanks guys

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Posts: 1377
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006

posted January 28, 2007 07:46 PM         

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Yup Sue, its true. But the thing with me is I start to wonder why they treat each other badly if they do love each other. I think we are just young and learning what we want from life and thats where the clashes come from...

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