posted February 23, 2007 02:04 AM         

For reference (don't know if it matters)
Me: 11/13/83 Ibadan, Nigeria 6:00AM
Him: 05/30/79 Sacramento, CA 12:00 Noon

We've been together for 1.5 years but we brok e up in the beginning after 3 months of dating b/c I was moving and going back to school and neither of us knew if the relationship was worth it since I was moving hours away, but after a month of being broken up we realized how much we missed each other and things have been great since but here are the two major things that bug me:

1.) Right after our break up he told me that he just wasnt in the right place at the moment but if he was, there was no doubt in his mind that he would want to be with me. Then he paused and said, "But I mean, its not like we could get married though." And I asked him what he meant by it and he said he thought that because I'm liberal and he's conservative and we are always arguing over points of view. They're not real or intense arguments, they're more intellectual. I pointed this out to him and he said, "I guess you're right. My mom and dad are like that. It balances out kids I guess."
So I can't get this convo out of my mind. Am I being silly since from the get go he assumed there was never a possibilty for marriage?

2nd point: My family has some serious skeletons in our closet and I've never told them about it.. sort of evaded it for a while. But if there is a possibilty that we might get married, I feel like I need to tell him. But then I get all antsy and scared b/c I fear he'll judge me for it :-/

So I guess my question is:

1.) Should I listen to his original comment about the inability to get married as a legitimate warning?

2.) Would the actions of an SO's family member color your thoughts about your SO or would you see your SO independent of a messed up family IF your SO is the exact opposite and doesnt exhibit any of the same traits as their family?

posted February 23, 2007 08:48 AM         

1.) Should I listen to his original comment about the inability to get married as a legitimate warning?
- This depends on the timing. You mentioned that he said this "right after your breakup". To me, it sounds like he's just trying to reason out the breakup.