Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  Aquarius Man& Cancer Woman: Can it Work

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq | search

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Aquarius Man& Cancer Woman: Can it Work
thisdivarocks
Knowflake

Posts: 36
From: east orange, nj,usa
Registered: Mar 2007

posted March 10, 2007 12:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for thisdivarocks     Edit/Delete Message
am a 25 year old cancer woman "involved" with a now 30 year old aquarius man. Where 2 start? Okay he is my friends' brother. We 1st connected through long conversations. We would talk about everything under the sun. He was definitely intrigued by me and we would talk all day and night... my phone was practically glued 2 my ear. We started an intimate relationship/involvement I should say... because he already had a girlfriend. We initially talked about that a lot and I would give him advice when requested and my opinion on the matter. He said he wanted out I suggested things that he cud do... I was a true friend. I really do have his best interest at heart... I grew 2 love him & would like him to be happy even if its not with me. Anyway we started seeing each other in July of 2006 and it ceased for a while after new years eve. During that time period one minute he would be the most lovable, fun, considerate and caring person and then just like that he would be cool and aloof. Treat me like a regular friend. Then when I dont pay him attention he complains but when i give the attention he doesnt seem to care or it doesnt seem to matter. Its like he draws and lures me in makes me want him and when he knows that he has me.... he snatches his self away. Then goes back to being cool. He has never told me that he loved me only that he has deep feelings for me (they are there) and that he really cares for me.I love him and I wanna stop but I cant. We stopped speaking and just texted each other periodically for like a month and then he started showing interest in me again. he found out I tried 2 move on and see someone else and the jealousy came out... it slipped through all of that pride he has. Then he started calling again wanting to talk to me. I tried to keep my distance but I swear its so hard.... its like a mangnetism or some synergistic energy exchange when we are together or when we start talking on the phone. We were texting nonchalant little smart messages and then one day he tells me you were just at the bank. Im like how u know and he says because you are under surveillance. I see stuff you dont think i see you doing, so just know that you are being watched. Then a few days later at his birthday party last month 2/17... he ignores me at 1st. But then I acted as if he didnt matter... unlike his other ex's there who were fighting for his attention. Thats when he reached out 4 my attention. He threw little paper balls at me during a jamming party and i ignored him until one hit my face and got stuck in my hair and then i had to acknowledge him bcuz he knew i felt that one. I smiled and kept dancing. A little while later he threw a big paper ball... I laughed and said stop silly. Then I observed him watching me the entire night from a distance. My friends wud tell me he's looking. But I was subtle about it... I continued to pretend that it didnt matter but i was hurting inside.
How cud someone i once shared such deep intimate experiences with treat me this way... like a regular jane. We would lay up at night and watch movies, listen to music and have pillow talk. Cuddled up and our sex life was a passionate and spontaneous one. We were silly together and open. The one person who i felt completely comfortable around. He truly cared about my goals and desires. I am a cautious cancer so i was hesistant to let him in but he kept pryinghis way in. Then he told me one day... Its safe, your safe. So i let go, i let things happen, i let him in and i let him happen. But i am an emotional person and his detachment kills me.I just came to learn after observing him with his family that he treats them the same way. i told him that he was tri-polar... they havent discovered that yet. His sister said he was multi-polar ha ha. I tried to let go but i still love him deep down inside. Hes very respectful and generous, loving and caring at times. He just has this cool whatever type of demeanor that throws me off sometimes. One minute we can be in romantic bliss and then cold. One night we made love and then we got up to freshen up before bed. He got back to the room before me and when i got there he was getting dress and saying he was gonna go home (around the corner from me). I said why he said just because he should. Its like when he catches his self feeling too much or getting caught up he pulls back. As if hes calculatimg how much of himself he gives to me. Its emotionally draining. Theres a lot more but can someone help me with what I've given so far. I love him a lot and i want him. I gave up before and dated someone on a rebound but he still stayed in my heart and sometimes often on my mind. I only gave up because i felt myself getting 2 the point of going into a jealous and crazy rage like a 5year old throwing a tantrum. Plus my pride wouldnt let me pour my heart out in poems or 15 to 27 page letters anymore. I gave him a key and he refused it. I THINK HES SCARED OF BEING OBLIGATED. I dont know what to do. I usually follow my heart but i have been cultivating emotional detachment lately and now it feels like he's about to undo all of that. He is my weakness. What should I do... I feel like im hanging in limbo. And i feel like he took a piece of my heart when he left. I cant stop loving him and part of me wants to erase him out of my life but I cant because theres part of me that wants to love him when i see him or answer his calls and call him back. And make sure that he is well. Why cant i stop loving him?!!! Any advice, comments, Help Me.

IP: Logged

Crabplanet
Knowflake

Posts: 55
From: Vienna, VA, USA
Registered: Jul 2006

posted March 11, 2007 10:20 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Crabplanet     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Diva:

Where to start? I'm also a cancer, and I'm also caught in this aqua-web. I don't see how a cancer and an aqua can communicate...From my experience, the only thing that came out from this relationship was: FRUSTRATION. What I learned: LETTING GO. My advice: protect yourself and run away from him.

IP: Logged

hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1201
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 12, 2007 02:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Please read this brilliant script posted by GN~~~
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/012828.html

I am a Pisces sun with a bewildering Aqua influence and dated a highly Cancerian man--we were SO compatiable, even to the asc, same sign same degree...

However.....

My highly independent, freedom loving Aqua influences clashed horribly with his Cancerian emotional neediness....

These are two of the most stressfull issues to deal with in synastry!!!

Blessings

Terri

IP: Logged

taurean_scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1206
From: santa monica, california
Registered: May 2005

posted March 12, 2007 05:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurean_scorpion     Edit/Delete Message
I have to agree with the above responses...But it may work if you have an Air Moon/Asc, or if he has a Water Moon/Asc....but the moon's more important i think.

IP: Logged

hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1201
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 12, 2007 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Taurean---

To be true for sure! Suns and Moons are where it is at, unless....

My ex: Cancer sun, Cap moon, Me Pisces Sun, Taurus moon...

He with Venus, Mars and Sun, conj in Cancer in the 8th...

Me Mars, Merc, Jup, close conj in the 3rd oppo Uranus...

Me with my sun in the 4th---

We were SOSOSO compatible, but the strong Cancer in the 8th thing for him and me with my Aqua stuff made it impossible...

And it is not like we did not try----We have tried to be friends MANY, MANY times, but that darn emotion vs deatchment thing is SO huge...

Well...

<sigh>~~~

T

IP: Logged

hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1201
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 12, 2007 06:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
BTW~~~

The breakup has been long and painful---

Years later, I still feel it...

Lingers~~~

IP: Logged

taurean_scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 1206
From: santa monica, california
Registered: May 2005

posted March 12, 2007 09:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for taurean_scorpion     Edit/Delete Message
hippichick, this makes sense.
*We were SOSOSO compatible, but the strong Cancer in the 8th thing for him and me with my Aqua stuff made it impossible...*

i once had a thing with an aqua/aries/8th etc. When it didn't work out, i was squashed and brokenhearted. i can't even imagine the pain i would've felt, had i went out with him because I am still recovering from it...

btw, how did you deal with the break up? what did you do to kind of get your mind off him?

Taurus/Scorpio/Cancer on the 1st-3rd house cusps.

IP: Logged

hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1201
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 12, 2007 10:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
Taurean...

Well, I am still trying to figure out if the breakup is over, yet!!!

Actually, the "official" breakup occured greater than 3 years ago...

But like I said, we have tried "friends" many times...

It was easy enough for me to handle as he became obsessive to the point of breaking the law--ie: stalking, harrassment and invading my space both emotionally and physically that I did not WANT him around any longer!!!

But still there remained the "attachment." And I have chalked it up to many things, mainly past life issues, karma, etc. but have chosen to "turn the other cheek" karmically and just walk away from any further interactions with him...cause we tend to bring out the worst in eachother...

And I'll be darned if he does not, with each an EVERY interaction re-mind me of WHY we are no longer together!!!

So, that is my answer to how I have handled it...out-grown him---I suppose...

Blessings

Terri

IP: Logged

GypsyDancer1221
Knowflake

Posts: 81
From: Charlotte, NC, USA
Registered: Oct 2006

posted March 13, 2007 05:05 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypsyDancer1221     Edit/Delete Message
I disagree with running away from the relationship, especially if it means so much to you and it CAN work! I'm a Cancer sun, Cap moon, Aries Asc. and my boyfriend is Aqua sun AND moon, Scorpio Asc. I had strong feelings for him for over a year and a half before he told me he had feelings for me (I didn't tell him until after he'd told me) and we've been dating since MOTHERS DAY! It can work, trust me; if you give the planets and asc.s I can give you further insight, 'cause not all Aquas and Cancers are stereotypical.

"Its like when he catches his self feeling too much or getting caught up he pulls back. As if hes calculatimg how much of himself he gives to me."

I think that my BF might do this a bit, and I'm not sure why... personally, I THINK it's cause I'm underage and he wants to take it slow because his religion doesn't promote pre-marital sex... maybe it's not because he's (your aqua) afraid to be obliged, he's afraid to give completely of himself. I have a lot of opposition in my own chart, so I have the inner battle between freedom and tradition, and an Aquarian that's in love, which it sounds like he is, especially if he got jealous and tried to get your attention. Playing hard to get isn't fun, but it typically works; and if it works on an Aquarian, it's REALLY good 'cause they typically don't get jealous; that means that there ARE DEFINATELY feelings attached! Dealing with the lack of emotion can really hurt, I understand. Even small things, like when we're standing together in the hallway and he doesn't look at me, or when he does he looks away really fast, hurts... and it's because we ARE emotional to the extreme, and every little thing matters to us. Have you talked to him about how you feel? Aquarians, at least the two that I've ever been in relationships with (although one of those relationships was almost EXACTLY what you did; I tried to make myself get over my boyfriend by dating him, and it did NOT work; my mind and heart kept returning to my Aquarian BF... and if you can't get someone out of your mind, they're supposed to be there. Your subconscious knows more than we do, karma and fate have things to do in our lives... you and your aqua are going through this for a reason.) are actually very emotional under their cool exteriors. They don't want to open up because they're afraid of being hurt. Maybe I just attract emotional Aquarians, or maybe the two I've been in close contact with have let me into their inner hearts, not that none of you are, it's just that we're really young, not to mention my generation has Pluto in Scorpio, so we have the tendency to be DEEPLY involved in everything. Aquarians ARE emotional; they just don't show it, or perhaps they've taught themselves to be stoic, or something... I hope this has helped you, and I will do the synastry if you give me the information. Try doing a composite chart, too. Good luck in your relationship, I hope that it's interesting and that the outcome is even better than you imagine it will be! Take care,
~ Gypsy

IP: Logged

hippichick
Knowflake

Posts: 1201
From: The Ether
Registered: Jan 2006

posted March 14, 2007 01:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hippichick     Edit/Delete Message
edit---too negative...

IP: Logged

double trouble gemini
Knowflake

Posts: 337
From: uae
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 16, 2007 05:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for double trouble gemini     Edit/Delete Message
cancer = clingy, possesive, strong grip,FOREVER.

aqua = freedom , SPACE , aloof, running back and forth in relationships.

cancer+aqua = frustration, tears, insecureties,lies, arguments, lonely nights!

this is my 2cent form my 10 year relationship with my aqua bf.... sometimes it is worth it but over all i can say that aqua can be the best no.1 FRIEND you can ever find. (but thats all)

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2007

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a