posted March 12, 2007 03:29 AM         

Ok, so its saturday night I was having a few drinks and text pisces-boy to see what he was doing. Didn't hear back and my phone was playing up so I text him again in case my phone had chewed it (again). He replied he was with his girlfriend.
I thought ok, I'm crushed but honestly he's not my boyfriend and I have no dibs on him really but when the hell did this happen? He'd wanted to see me just a week before.
I replied a bit of warning would've been nice and did she know he'd been with me. He said he hadn't been with me for ages, but he was sorry.
I drank too much, went out clubbing and ran into some friends (who don't know him) and they went off about it. At the time I thought ok, he's found someone I'm just glad he told me but her being nothing to girlfriend in less than a week was a bit much.
My work mate rang him and blasted him for messing me around, it was really late by then though.
An hour or two later I got a message from his phone from his girlfriend. It was nice, she just said she knew we'd had a thing and he'd led me on, but she'd been with him all year and he was taken but happy, sorry.
That tripped me out.
I rang her on his phone and asked her exactly when, cos he's been with me a few times this year. She rang me back when he was asleep and we had a huge chat for about an hour.
She'd been sus about me but he'd lied to her, he'd told her we used to have a thing for a bit but I still liked him.
We compared notes. Told him the things he'd said to me a few weeks ago (I was so happy I never thought I had a chance and he was laying his heart on the line), he said word for word the same things to her. I told her the date and she was with him the very next night. Compared other dates and things he said too and she KNEW I couldn't have been just a jealous scorned ex lover. The way he talks is too distinct.
I felt so sorry for her, I may have loved him but I was just his lover, she was his GIRLFRIEND. At least we didn't attack each other, we didn't even attack him we just compared notes and found out he's been playing us both for fools.
He didn't tell her we'd been off and on for over a year, and that he'd said he wanted to be with me just a few weeks earlier. She completely understood why I'd gotten upset, he'd glossed over a lot of stuff obviously.
We both cried together and it was healing but a bizarre situation! I asked if she wanted me to come over and talk to her properly and she did. I went over to see her but when I got there she'd obviously woken him up and had a go at him, he was cross and told me to go away so I did. Felt like smashing his face in but I didn't.
After I left he sent me a text saying I could f#$k right off he thought I was his friend and how could I carry on like that.
I just wish someone had've been so honest with me when my ex cheated on me, I would never have been with him had I known and she apppreciated that. He now thinks I'm the worst person ever but I only told the truth.
Went next door to my best mates house and altho she was at work I knew her husband (also a close friend) would be home so I could crash on the couch.
The couch was taken tho. By cancer guy.
He was good, he listened to my drunken nonsense and I dragged out the spare bed. There was only one doona so we crashed together and cuddled up, nothing seedy tho just friends cuddled up asleep. That poor guy always seems to cop my dramas about pisces-boy and he's not even a close friend. I was so drunk and angry he could've EASILY taken advantage but he didn't, he just cuddled me and made me feel like everything was ok.

Pisces-boy's girlfriend (probably ex) was out of there by 10am and she was supposed to stay the long weekend. Thats their drama its none of my business, I'm just curious of course.
I don't understand how he could've kept us so seperate for 3 months. She lives 180kms away in the city and I live 46kms away, but my best friends live next door and her car was there but nobody ever saw her outside his family. My best mate assumed it was his sisters new car she didn't realise, I think her husband was more shocked than anyone.

The BIG thing I can't comprehend which is getting to me more than the lies, the fact he made me the 'other woman' and all that junk is why did he say what he did a few weeks ago. The BIGGEST thing is what he said to me.
After over a year of us on and off I never really thought it could happen for us, although I truly wished it could. I knew that we were just seeing one another and had no dibs it wasn't anything more than that. I don't understand why after all that time he turned around and gushed about how I had no idea how much he liked me, he wanted to see me, couldn't believe I didn't have a boyfriend when I was so perfect.
I thought wow, he's realised what I knew all along. It won't be easy but he finally wants to take the next step.
I actually let myself think ok maybe it all gonna happen now, and let myself feel more than wishful thinking.

Why after so long would he say that after so long and when he had someone else he was 'official' with?
Thats what i don't understand and thats what bugs me more than anything.

posted March 12, 2007 04:29 AM         

I feel so sorry for her, they weren't together very long and nobody knew about her in town although she had met his family. Apparently she's someone in town's cousin and which family you belong to over there means way too much to some people. Kinda outdated really.

I know he's completely done the wrong thing by both of us (especially her), but I just don't understand why after a year he told me how much he cared when there was no need and the timing was disgusting.
Was he just practicing the words on me for her cos they were exactly the same words? I always knew the family/age gap/children thing was a major gap between us, maybe he liked us both but couldn't decide.

posted March 12, 2007 04:46 AM         

Kind thoughts/feelings

posted March 12, 2007 06:50 AM         

Sending all my love your way... I hope you feel much better soon.

MM

posted March 12, 2007 09:03 AM         

You're not alone. You're a strong girl, and this will make you even stronger. You deserve so much better than this creep, and so does the other girl he was with. You will be much better off in the long run. You can always come here when you need support.

posted March 12, 2007 02:25 PM         

Anyway just said thanks everyone. CC I read your post and I felt better cos that guys a bigger jerk than my pisces. Oh gee I sound horrible- for her misery to make me feel better, but it just did. I can't imagine how she feels cos I can't imagine feeling any worse right now.

I wrote him a long, rational letter explaining what he did wrong. I don't know if he'll see my point and feel bad or not; it doesn't matter cos it felt better to get it out of my system. Don't even know if I'll send it.

I'll copy it in my next post, I'd appreciate feedback cos if I sound like a nutcase theres no way I'd send it. I hope it comes across clear and sensible.

posted March 12, 2007 02:31 PM         

Have a nice life, I do sincerely wish you happiness. I can't believe I could be so wrong about a person but oh well. Its been a learning experience for me, I just hope you've learnt something too.
Me.

posted March 12, 2007 03:03 PM         

Similar story unfolded for me the other day! Only the boy I was talking to was engaged. I talked to him for only 2 months so I dont feel too bad.

posted March 12, 2007 03:42 PM         

This kind of male behavior disgusts me to no end. I don't know if you read that whole thread, but between myself, my Leo friend, and the posts from Venus and soconfused, there were some pretty dispicable stories. *Sigh* It's very hard reading these things, and equally as hard to not become cynical and jaded.

I'm going to start a new thread in Astrology in an attempt to restore my faith in male Pisceans in particular.

Time heals OzMeg, but I know that you know that. Every screwed up relationship we go through is meant to teach us something. Try and stay positive...the initial phase is the toughest. You feel like your hurt will never end, but it always does. I think my last relationship ended b/c the universe felt it was time that I was forced to focus on myself. I need to love myself, and until I get to that point, I will never be truly happy with a partner. So, that is where my focus is right now...

posted March 12, 2007 08:12 PM         

I had this same thing happen to me 5 months ago. I know how you feel. I was strung along for a year and got a BOMB dropped on me by him that he had moved in with a girl. I didn't have all the drama of dealing w/ the other girl though. I wished him well, said I was happy for him, and haven't been in touch w/ him since.

If anything, I advise that whether you give the ltr. or not, that you stop contact cold and don't look back. You have to just now get over him once and for all and that takes NO contact and time.

posted March 13, 2007 06:46 AM         

Please read this: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/002716.html

posted March 13, 2007 06:30 PM         

IMO - Silence is Golden!!!!!!!!!!

Walk away with your head held high, with grace and dignity and show the world that you are a strong brave woman! (not that your letter suggests anything less)knowing that you did nothing wrong, it is what it is and that someone more suitable, available and open will come into your world when you are ready.

At the end of the day you have to do what feels right for you though and I am merely playing devils advocate. I know how tough this is.

This too shall pass!

In love and Light
LiondePoissons

Pisces sun
Leo Moon

posted March 13, 2007 07:39 PM         

"You did the one thing that anyone could have told you would send me postal. You turned me into the girl who sleeps with someone elses boyfriend, the person I hate above all others and never would have chosen to be. You lied to me as well, you didn't have to but you did. I hate that and I don't understand it."