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Author Topic:   aries-capricorn...will it work?
let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 145
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted April 03, 2007 08:05 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
hey all...have come here after really long...had a bad coupla years....really need help with something and i'm hoping that someone out here will be able to help me out...coz i really need it. i'm extremely confused. if anyone has any advice, i would really like to hear it and i would really appreciate it...

i was going out with my boyfriend for seven years. he's capricorn and i'm aries. we always had minor issues on which we'd fight but things only got worse a year and a half back...july/ aug 2005. we fought on everything. on things as petty as not dropping me back on time to things as huge as religion(i had started going to the church and he did not lik it, but i guess that that was because it was a born again church and their beliefs are quite rigid).

we kept breaking up and making up for around a year. and during those periods of our break up he had started getting close to this 'friend' of his. he went and told her of all our problems, which, to some extent, i dont blame him for, since he needed to talk to someone....anyways she took advantage of our situation and tried to use all this information to get closer to him since she really liked him.
my boyfriend was probably weak at that time and started developing some sort of feelings for her and then got close to her physically. all of this happened during one of our breaks. however, i think he realised he still wanted to be with me so he called and we made up. BUT he did not tell me anything about wat happened with this girl AND he still kept in touch with her.
however, after awhile when things were going just fine with us, i asked him just following a hunch if he had gotten physical with anyone. and after some coaxing he said that he had just kissed her. i was really upset and hurt but i got over it after a couple of days. but i soon started to notice that she constantly called and messaged him so i kept asking him to keep a distance. but that was something he could not manage or rather did not want to. and slowly i discovered that they shared a lot more than just one kiss. i felt completely betrayed. i could not take it anymore and decided to call it off.

after that he saw her for a brief period but it did not work out since he realised that she had been slightly manipulative and was not being totally honest...or rather not being herself.

now since the past 4-5 months he's been saying he wants to get back with me.i was ok till now but i met him a month ago. he looked like he was really sorry and i said i'll give it a thought. i know he really likes me and i know that he has changed. but i am really confused about my own feelings because i feel something in this is just not the same.

i showed our charts to an astrologer and she gave me quite an accurate picture of wat he is like to the smallest detail....and she also said that our stars dont really match and it would be a big chance to marry this guy.

i really dont know wat to do. if theres anyone out here who can help me out it will be much appreciated.

love
diya

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 145
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted April 04, 2007 02:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
anyone??????

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AcousticGod
Knowflake

Posts: 8689
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005

posted April 04, 2007 05:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for AcousticGod     Edit/Delete Message
It can work, but probably not well unless you're both really mature.

As a 33 year old I went out with a 45 year old, heavily Aquarian Aries. That was fine (no arguments ever), but I didn't expect it to last forever or anything. We also didn't really connect mentally all that well. We were just mature enough to tolerate one another despite our mental disconnect.

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 145
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted April 04, 2007 12:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
thanks a ton for ur response acoustic ....i met him today..n he made me laugh ....he's one of the few people who can really make me laugh....and he made me cry as well...but of course thats because of my own confusion....we decided to let things jus go on the way they are....and if things are meant to be they will...and if they are not meant to be they wont.....dunno what else to do....

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cancerrg
Knowflake

Posts: 2287
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted April 04, 2007 01:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for cancerrg     Edit/Delete Message
well not talking of the stars /zodiacs or the charts , my simple question to you (ask yourself this too ) are you ready to go with a person who betrayed your faith ?

its not about a kiss or a sexual realtion , its not even about his falling in for someoneelse , my point is do you think he betryead you ?

being a man , i know how tough is it to restrict yourself . (thatis why for us ,virginty isn't a case of lost character but lost opportunity )
but my concern is his lie !
i can understnd its really embarrsing to accept your infidelity in front of your woman but then thats the time when you show your charcter ! right !

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InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1075
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted April 04, 2007 02:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
u know, cancerrg is absolutely right !!

forget aries, forget capricorn!! forget the stars! how do u know that this guy will not betray you again ? can u trust him ?

ask yourself the question, would you have done what he did to you? and would you have forgiven yourself? would you then have the balls to go back to the person you betrayed and ask them if u can get back together? is it fair on the person if u do so???

inmho, he showed lack of character when he cheated on you (you guys had been going out for 7 years for crissake!! ), and then lied to you about it, even when you cross questioned him repeatedly....and he is showing his lack of character now by coming back to you.

everyone makes mistakes, but one should be ready to accept them, and to bear all the consequences of making them.

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 145
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted April 04, 2007 03:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
thanks guys fr replyin......

i agree with the both of u'll that he lied inspite of me cross questioning him....i was extremely hurt....but i think somewher i wanted to forgive him coz i was really guilty since i myself had not given him my 100%.....you no there was this time when i was fighting a lot with him....and we had major issues....thats when out of nowhere my ex guy sent me a marriage proposal.....after 7 f****** years of no contact!!!!!...and i was really tempted!!...coz he was someone i fancied fr the longest time....but i rejected it(i sometimes feel i made a mistake)....nyways i kinda fantasised about him a lot fr some time!!!!!! ....and then i think i started feeling guilty that i thought about him so much when i was with someone else....

coming back to the issue...he did lie and theres no denying that he should'nt have....but i also know that normally he's brutally honest....to the point of hurting me swometimes( like when he does not appreciate the way im dressed, and i have taken pains to look good esp fr him!!!)....

cancerrg,i dont no if i should use the word betrayed....but he certainly broke my trust...and i thot he was the one person i could always count on...in a way i still hold that opinion(not when it comes to other girls), but in other ways...

ILWL,He did accept his mistake and he told me that he does not expect me to get back....infact i really did not want to untill a month ago. he kept callin me, sayin sorry etc...he said he wanted to meet me just once. and i thlnk that was my mistake. that i met him. coz when i did he gave me these sorry cards, with all sorts of things written to melt your heart ...and my heart did melt...and i broke down...it just put me in confusion...before that iwas so ok with the idea of not being with him, i even dated someone else...and had a blast!!!

"ask yourself the question, would you have done what he did to you? and would you have forgiven yourself? would you then have the balls to go back to the person you betrayed and ask them if u can get back together? is it fair on the person if u do so???"

no i wud not..and i know this because i had the oppertunity...and i did not coz i knew i will not ever forgive myself..and i dont think i would have the balls to go back...

but inspite of all this im confused, and i think that maybe thats coz 7 years is hard to let go of

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InLoveWithLife
Knowflake

Posts: 1075
From: Wonderland
Registered: Aug 2006

posted April 04, 2007 05:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for InLoveWithLife     Edit/Delete Message
honey, i understand your feelings totally. i know how difficult it is to break away from someone you have been with for 7 yrs !!

but, i have a strong suspicion that you are acting more out of a need for security, than real love. it feels safe to be with someone you know for that long, whom you can 'count on'. and that is why it seems easy to forgive him.

Think about it, both of you used to fight over things ranging from petty to important, both of you got attracted to other people, one of you gave in to these attractions and lied about it. You were having a blast dating other people and had almost gotten over him. what does all this indicate? don't you think that the relationship is already over?

feeling sorry, giving cards with heart melting words, all that is easy, dear. yes he might be very very sorry, but what he is doing now is working on your emotions. it is a subtle sort of manipulation. i hope u realize that.

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let ther b light
Knowflake

Posts: 145
From: bombay, india
Registered: Aug 2005

posted April 05, 2007 02:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for let ther b light     Edit/Delete Message
ILWL, i no wat your saying makes sense....i dont know though why im feeling this way....maybe its because theres no one else around...or maybe it because im scared i will not find anyone...i dont know but thats the reason i've not given in to him...because i want to see if i can live without him...we decided yesterday that we will not message or call one another....just hope i can do that

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