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Author Topic:   Proverbial 'Can of Worms'
CrankyCap
Knowflake

Posts: 583
From: Powell, Ohio, United States
Registered: May 2006

posted April 13, 2007 02:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message
Think I've made a bit of a mistake. A couple months back I decided to open the lines of communication again with my Taurus ex. I talked myself into thinking that it might be nice if we could be friends. However, in my typical Piscean moon fashion I was totally lying to myself. The fact of the matter is that I contacted him for a couple of OTHER reasons:

1) I had just broken up with Pisces man. I was hoping that the Taurus I had loved for years could fill the void of emptiness and pain.

2) I have used the Taurus as an excuse for many years. I didn't have to really get close to anyone or risk having my heart broken again because I could always say that I just wasn't "over him." In a way he was like a security blanket for me. I spent years fantasizing about the day that he would come back to me, and realize that we were meant to be together. Never happened...never will.

Still, he took the bait. We started emailing, and it was nice to talk to him again here and there. 2 weeks ago I was reading an email from him, and I realized that the feelings were just not there anymore. I wondered why on earth I was still talking to him at all. This was actually tough for me to deal with. My "blanket" is gone. It kind of made me feel lost. Who am I if I'm not the girl forever pining for the Taurus guy?

Anyway, I didn't write him back. Figured he probably wouldn't even notice, and I could just slip back out of his life in much the same way I slipped back in.

Got an email from him today. He asked if I got the previous one he wrote. Asked how I was doing, asked about my job, etc. He's been getting phone calls at work from someone in my area code that wasn't leaving messages and asked if it was me. When we first started conversing again a few months back he asked me for my phone number several times. I finally gave it to him but he never called. In this latest email he asked me for it again, and said he had lost his cell.

I don't know what to do with this situation. Part of me still loves him and I don't want to hurt him by just ignoring everything he writes to me, but at the same time I feel like it's time to close the chapter. I don't know...maybe we can be friends, but the honest truth is as soon as I saw his name pop up in my inbox I got those familiar uncomfortable, sickly butterflies in my stomach...but just for an instant.

Should have left well enough alone in the first place...(((Sigh)))

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OzMeg222
Knowflake

Posts: 716
From:
Registered: Jul 2006

posted April 13, 2007 05:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for OzMeg222     Edit/Delete Message
You sound very self aware about the situation. Trust your instincts, go with your heart. It can be scary to realise you've gotten over someone completely, because what else is there???
I was with my ex for 7 years and went back to him twice although I was over him long before. It seemed that if we couldn't make it work nobody could, both times he started seeing someone else and I snatched him back pretty quick and he came running.
Not pretty.

Good luck with whatever you decide, I'm SO not the best person to give romantic advice; I still can't get over the pisces (much as I pretend to).

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fayte.m
Knowflake

Posts: 6309
From:
Registered: Mar 2005

posted April 13, 2007 06:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for fayte.m     Edit/Delete Message
An image for the title of your thread.

------------------
~Judgement Must Be Balanced With Compassion~
~Do Not Seek Wealth From The Suffering, Or The Dire Needs Of Others~
~Assumption Is The Bane Of Understanding~
}><}}}(*> <*){{{><{
~~~ ~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~~
~~~~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~

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phoenix1111
Knowflake

Posts: 55
From: United States
Registered: Oct 2006

posted April 13, 2007 09:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for phoenix1111     Edit/Delete Message
CrankyCap, I can totally identify with your situation. My Piscs husband and I have been seperated for 10 months, and when I left him I had truly decided that it was over. In the past three months we have started talking again, but I still feel like all the feelings have gone most of the time, then others I miss him very much because of the past and him being my "blanket". I don't know what it all means, but I guess I will fiqure it out.
I think sometimes people stay together because they are comfortable with someone or that they have been with someone for a long time and they don't know how to start over and put such a significant relationship behind in the past. It isn't easy, especially if you do love someone but know somethings not "right"

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lovely*
Knowflake

Posts: 2101
From: CA
Registered: Jul 2003

posted April 17, 2007 01:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lovely*     Edit/Delete Message
i think "pining away" is a form of intimacy problems. no one you date measures up to that one special person because that person is easier to adore from a distance. so your taurus steps up and is present and you quickly realise you may be over him. he's getting too close.

good for you to be so honest with your self. i admire introspecting.

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CapGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 385
From: Indianapolis, IN, USA
Registered: Mar 2006

posted April 17, 2007 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CapGirl     Edit/Delete Message
Crank,

I'm going through the same, although I think the receiving guy on my end could be going through what you've expressed moreso than me. I saw that my Cap. guy from the past was suddenly logged online 24/7 and was putting up strange msgs. about being on a date... (he had been dating/living w/ someone so I cut contact for 6 months after finding that out). So, all of this strange online activity peaked my curiosity... and I emailed him and he immediately responded telling me that he'd been dumped recently and was getting back into the single life again. He suggests dinner, and I agreed. Now we've been just talking sporadically for 4 weeks but haven't gotten together. I have to wonder if he's hesitating and questioning whether he wants to start this back up, like you are. And all of his slowness and stalling around is just making me wonder whether I want to deal with him again!

I get what you're saying though... This Cap. guy has been like your Taurus is for you. I'd like to just convince myself to be OVER him already! My mind can give me all these reasons and just wants to laugh at how idiotic and immature he is, but my heart is not willing to accept it!!!

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CrankyCap
Knowflake

Posts: 583
From: Powell, Ohio, United States
Registered: May 2006

posted April 18, 2007 08:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CrankyCap     Edit/Delete Message
CG - Sounds like we are in very similar situations, although my Taurus isn't close enough to be that big of a threat physically (he's in NJ, I'm in OH). However, I could become emotionally involved again, and that is what I've had trouble with.

I emailed him back, but I was very brief and slightly cold. My response to him was very different from anything I've EVER written to him. Doubt that he'll pick up on it though...he's a bit too selfish, and not all that intuitive. He hasn't responded, which is ok too. I need to be done with it. I don't want to go down that road again. I wish him all the best of course, but he isn't what I want or need in my life. Just took me 6 years to figure that out...

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