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Author
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Topic: The most tramatic article I have read on Internet dating...
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Xodian
Knowflake Posts: 531
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted May 10, 2007 06:05 PM
 
Geez... And to think life could have been so simple; you know, a guy could actually saftely assume he was talking to a alluring pinnicle of feminine beauty on the other end of the DSL line. Why must the internet do this to me?! ... Lol!Well here a little take on internet dating by one of the writers for Esquire magazine who (get this) ACTED like a hot woman for quite a period of time to nail a boyfriend for his nanny. And as my tramatic expression (which you can't see ATM) will tell you, he pulled it off convincingly well... *shivers* I need to get cleaned. Anyway, it is a long article so do make sure you have plently of free time before reading it Lol, but I'll post just a snippit of it. quote:
I've been a beautiful woman for fifty days, and no one has compared me to a summer's day. No one has said my lips are like rose blossoms or my throat is as smooth as alabaster. Men don't have time for that anymore. We live in the age of transparency. Say what you mean and mean what you say. As in: "You are a very pretty lady." "I think you are very attractive." "You look very pretty." I've been approached by more than six hundred men, and that's one of the big themes I've discovered in their method: Cut to the chase. The directness has its charms, but like everything else about being a beautiful woman, it has its dark side as well. One suitor tried to seduce me with this line: "I would like to stalk you." Another said, "I am in a committed relationship but am looking for a girl on the side." Honest? Sure. To the point? Yes. Creepy? As hell.
Well guys, hope you all have your soaps ready cause I swear you'll get the sudden urge to wash yourself up after reading this article and you'll swear as to be very careful when you meet a girl online Lol!
http://www.esquire.com/features/hotwoman0507 IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 1872
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted May 10, 2007 07:25 PM
X, I read every word of this article. This guy is my hero. That is EXACTLY how men are on instant messengers. 98% perverts and scum (not meaning the live with my Mom guys who are just fine, but the LIVE WITH MY WIFE scum) If you try to be friendly or kind, most won't stop and will finally get ****** and unload on you.
I know there are a few cool guys out there, but it is impossible to sort through literally hundreds of creeps who are just biding their time, probably with their pants around their knees, before they randomly throw in some comment about sex when they have been aquainted with you for a whole 10 or 20 minutes. I actually like these guys better than those who waste your time for a couple chats before they begin with their scumbag perversions. The obvious ones who continuously ask for pictures (not just a couple to make sure you are attractive to them) and then try to get you to keep a web cam running (not just to make sure you are the same person as in your pictures, but so they can have live whack-off material) are at least easy to spot and immediately ignore. I'm quite bitter about instant messaging services and turn mine on about once every three months to chat with an old friend in Colorado. Everyone else can email me. And I remain invisible when I chat because if I appear online for even a minute, I will get messages from random guys. 98% the predator type. The "possible good guys" are the ones who actually read the profile, have their own interesting profile, and chat about something other than how "pretty" you are and if you "have any more pictures". X, I am actually happy if this guy causes other guys to be on their best behavior, and causes them to avoid being sexual until they actually KNOW something about the person they are chatting with online. I think every guy should have the experience of being a pretty girl in an online dating situation.
Thank you for posting it!  IP: Logged |
Xodian
Knowflake Posts: 531
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted May 10, 2007 08:02 PM
I say this for yours and everyone's benifit Mystic... DON'T forge realtionships online. I can tell you a whole truck load of stories about my experiences with internet stalkers (yeah... The problem ain't just limited to men) but I rather not.Anyway, getting to the point of the matter, you have to realize that creepiness is a direct result of internet privacy. If a person's name, home address and his telepone number were clearly posted with his profile, you know he wouldn't try anything stupid online. So how do you defend yourself? The short answer is be vigilant and have a sarcastic reply ready at your disposal Lol! Example: Here is a little place I moderate. Check out the hilarious replies the mod team (inlcluding yours truly) left for the little spambot.
http://www.fragdoods.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=78 Oh yeah... we have our own fun with losers (even artificial ones Lol!) IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 1872
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted May 11, 2007 02:38 AM
hehe evil spamming minions
Another reason this forum is The Best. I do everything so slowly that the creeps and stalker types I met back then got bored long before there was any chance I would ever actually meet them in person. I'm pretty paranoid. Of course, it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you...   hehe You are right about the personality types that are attracted to the "privacy" of the internet. Especially instant messaging. And I know there have to be women too, because how could there be SO MANY of these losers continuously trying to get some, if no one was giving it up?? I like to think that its mostly men pretending to be women who are actually saying "Yes" to these guys' advances. hehhehe
But who knows... I DO have Mercury in Virgo even if it isn't my thing, it might be someone else's.
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Xodian
Knowflake Posts: 531
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted May 11, 2007 09:47 AM
Well to say that online linking doesn't work would be an unfair and inaccurate statement becuase it has proven to be successful; Especially for those who just are too busy to take the time to go out and socilize. However, these success cases usually happen because the part in question actually meets up after internet chats Lol! And usually these people actually have the intention of hooking up for real.However, as you said... One can never be TOO careful, but at the same time one can't let these creeps win and totally shelter oneself away from all the other possible good natured social butterflies Lol! IP: Logged |
Kamilla
Knowflake Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted May 11, 2007 01:42 PM
Xodian,
This article was such a deja vu...  Thank you. I had enough patience (or curiosity) for about two months of Internet dating. Within this short period I got acquainted with...uhmm...like a million of losers, freaks and morons of all ages, races, occupations and backgrounds. I hope I will NEVER have to do it again. Melody, I am ashamed to admit that I did give up at some point  I am not sure if it was my low standards, weak self-esteem or, may be, stupidity virus which is widely spread all over dating sites - but I actually ended up kind of dating one of those "unappreciated and misunderstood souls". I just found it too hard to beleive that anyone can be REALLY such a loser and thought there MUST be something else about him....Took me a couple of months to finally convince myself - nope, nothing else, just a loser in its absolutely pure form But in all fairness, I have to admit that when I snooped around female dating pool to check out the competition ... .... I came across A LOT of strange characters and a revolutionary term "rubenesque" derived from Rubens and meaning grossly overweight... IP: Logged |
MoonWitch
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Somewhere Out There
Registered: Jun 2006
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posted May 12, 2007 12:19 PM
I read that story - I enjoyed it I met my current boyfriend on an online dating site. Hopefully, my last boyfriend EVER as I am completely in love and he's one of the sweetest and yet brilliantly sarcastic people I've ever met. He's smart, funny, affectionate, a gentleman, adorable and has a voice that can melt butter. I was on the site for a month and I went on two dates. The first was with my current boyfriend and the other was with a VERY nice guy that actually works for NASA (yes, really). Of course, I could have gone on 100 dates but you have to sift through them. I did get a lot of emails that consisted of "ME LIKEY" and "Let's skip learning about each other through email and just call me NOW." - etc. etc. Actually, the only REAL internet stalker I've dealt with was a female which would be funny if she weren't so completely psycho. IP: Logged |
Xodian
Knowflake Posts: 531
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted May 12, 2007 01:29 PM
Moonwitch:Congrats on your soul connection . From what I can tell from the posts in this thread; seems like internet stlking is on the rise these days. It would be interesting to conduct some sort of a study on the behavioral patterns of these people. Then again... does anyone wanna know? Lol! *Sigh...* Anamosity as a result of being ananomous... IP: Logged |
Diandra23
Knowflake Posts: 313
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007
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posted May 12, 2007 02:49 PM
I ´ve also met my bf through internet.
We had our profiles in a site just for fun and not expecting to date.
I´ve received severall mails,hundreds of them saying pratically the same. i COULD ONLY LUAGHT FO COURSE for some weeks i really had fun with all those messages.
Then,somehow i red a message.Normal,quite shy but found it sincere.
Just said he liked my profile cause of my favorite quote: " Nobody inferior to you can ever offend you; and no one superior would..". Said he also just was looking for someone to talk to,someone "normal" in these days, with no 2nd inttentions.
Well, i took a chance and went looking at his profile:just one friend and his face just draw me , thinking he had something special.
On that night i add him on MSN.
Since 3 months then,talked hours by the phone and msn.
Then,we met.
Find out that he dreamt off me the day he saw my picture on that profile.He just looked into my eyes and thought i was familiar to him.Went to sleep thinking he was nuts,and when he woke up , my image was on his head.
Dreamed that he was on his bed and i entered his room and asked if i could give him a hugh.He smiled at me and we hughed each other very deeply.
So, that was how he sent me a message.
We´ve been together for a year now and it´s long-distance.
He´s the most wonderful thing it ever happened to me.I was always aware of internet stalkers and maniacs or whatever could exist.
But if it wasn´t the internet,i wouldn´t ever met him IP: Logged |
Tigerlily
Knowflake Posts: 129
From: Cancer Sun, Virgo Moon, Aquarius Rising
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted May 12, 2007 07:18 PM
My husband and I met online on my messageboard (not a dating site but an entertainment forum). I'm the webmaster, he was a moderator. We started out as friends but the connection became emotional and we fell in love before we ever met in person. After four months of daily phone calls (two to three hour calls every day/night, sometimes even more) we finally met in person. By that point we'd talked about everything and had really gotten to know each other so when we met (after the initial 10 second awkwardness), it felt like we'd known each other and been together forever. We got married five months after we met in person and just celebrated our four year wedding anniversary May 1st. If you're single and looking, you might want to consider joining messageboards like this one (and ones devoted to subjects you're really interested in, like movies, music, games, sports, spirituality, the outdoors, whatever you're into and passionate about), rather than limiting yourself just to online dating sites. You could possibly meet someone you connect with and you would have something in common, a shared interest. Though of course, BE CAREFUL. Don't trust just anyone. Take your time and make sure you protect yourself. If you think you've met someone special there are plenty of ways to check if they're "legit." Make them prove that they're who they say they are. If there are any red flags don't ignore that. Don't meet until he/she has completely checked out and even then meet in a public place. Meeting someone on the internet could potentially turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you or the worst nightmare. But if you're careful you can avoid the latter. IP: Logged |
MoonWitch
Knowflake Posts: 180
From: Somewhere Out There
Registered: Jun 2006
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posted May 12, 2007 09:32 PM
I *love* the success stories!!!!I was the first woman my boyfriend contacted through the dating site (as a rule he waited for women to contact HIM) and the line that cinched it in my profile was when I said something like "I don't mind weird - just don't have a dead squirrel collection buried in your backyard." I think it's HYSTERICAL that that simple line did it.
For the record... I also met one of my bestfriends and current roommate online about 6 years ago I do love the internet. I know it brings out some of the worst qualities in people but my life would be COMPLETELY different without it - I'd be missing a lot of wonderful souls.
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MoonDreamer81
Knowflake Posts: 308
From: Alabama
Registered: Apr 2007
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posted May 12, 2007 10:42 PM
I "met" the guy I'm currently interested in on MySpace(Though we haven't met in person yet...)We both agree that it's not good to rush things,and that you have to be very careful who you are actually talking to online!That being said,we've been communicating daily through IM,phone,and text for about 5 months.I was immediately attracted to him as soon as I saw his profile and we started chatting.And we talk about EVERYTHING!!It's so nice to be able to talk to someone about any subject and find their point of view to be so similar.I mean,nothing is off limits with us!!LOL!But we did both feel an instant connection,and by the time we actually meet in person,our friendship will be so deep that superficial stuff won't even matter.I know I'm gonna be a total nervous wreck when we meet,but after a few moments of awkwardness that should pass!I've never in my life felt the kind of connection I have with this guy.I really believe he is "The One".I have told him I'm in love with him and he said he feels the same,so we'll see where this goes!Wish me luck!!I know how crazy it sounds to say you're in love with someone you've never met...I even told him that myself when I told him my feelings.He reassured me that it was the same feeling for him!Ok...I think I'm done with my hopeless romantic rambling for the night!------------------
S:Taurus
ASC:Gemini
M:Scorpio IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Knowflake Posts: 1872
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted May 13, 2007 12:16 AM
Kamilla Nice to see you! I feel bad that you would say you are "ashamed to admit" that you dated someone from online. I know they aren't all unusually scary. I like online socializing. By "giving it up" I meant that there have to be women out there who are willing to meet these guys (who they have known for 20 minutes or two days) for quick sex or web cam stripping/sex (who aren't being PAID, which is the REAL travesty here said the Capricorn influenced woman hehe *see Linda's Love Signs for more* ) because if they never succeeded, they would give up their methods. Just to be clear in case anyone misunderstands my original words, I don't mean women who meet people online or through dating services or fall in love online. Its the technical age, the Aquarian 'communicate over the air-waves' age. I mean women who actually continue to respond to some idiot who immediately sends them a message that says "do you like oral". Live and let live for the most part, I'm just expressing my surprise that so many of these guys get enough positive reponses to continue with the same behavior. It must work for them. I'm talking about a certain instant messenger anyway. I've had the same email and messenger since the early 90's and about 7-10 of my friends and their family etc use the same so I don't change it. I just only turn it on when I want to chat with one of them, and I try to stay invisible or I am immediately bombarded by messages, 98% perverts. I could say it is partially my fault because I have a profile, but I guess that's like saying its the woman's fault for wearing the short skirt that attracted the rapist, eh? I was just trying to say that I really liked it that the author got to experience a small amount of what a woman experiences and I'm glad he wrote an article about it in a men's magazine. Cool. For everyone who is in love, keep right on throwing flower petals and singing with the birdies.  I like it, that is why I like "Soul Unions". IP: Logged |
Kamilla
Knowflake Posts: 860
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted May 13, 2007 11:47 PM
Hi Melody Happy Mother's Day to you Don't feel bad, I was just kidding about being "ashamed". Like anything else, it was just an experience. It is so nice to hear all success stories I guess, for everyone things just work the way they were meant to work. Last summer I started dating someone whom I had known for years and so far....no man has ever made me happier IP: Logged |
BornUnderDioscuri
Knowflake Posts: 1926
From: Never Never Land
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted May 20, 2007 07:47 PM
quote:
DON'T forge realtionships online.
Maybe this cynicism makes sense but I know more than one couple who met online and actually went on to get married and are still together over 8 years later. I know such stories are rare but you cannot nock out this possibility completely. Just use caution. IP: Logged |
Blue Baby 143
Knowflake Posts: 153
From: NY
Registered: Apr 2007
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posted May 20, 2007 10:52 PM
I think it's pathetic dating people on the internet. It shows people have no life and need to get out more. I only know one couple who met online 10 years ago. They got married 2 years ago and had kids. People need to leave the internet world sometimes. IP: Logged |
Xodian
Knowflake Posts: 531
From: Canada
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted May 21, 2007 05:35 PM
quote:
Maybe this cynicism makes sense but I know more than one couple who met online and actually went on to get married and are still together over 8 years later. I know such stories are rare but you cannot nock out this possibility completely. Just use caution.
Oh I am not denying that there aren't exceptions. There are quite a bit of them actually and thus as I said in a previous post above in this thread: quote:
Well to say that online linking doesn't work would be an unfair and inaccurate statement becuase it has proven to be successful; Especially for those who just are too busy to take the time to go out and socilize. However, these success cases usually happen because the part in question actually meets up after internet chats Lol! And usually these people actually have the intention of hooking up for real.
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Lialei
Knowflake Posts: 1470
From:
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted May 21, 2007 11:33 PM
If you want to be entirely traumatized forever, just for the hell of it
do a 100 mile radius search at Yahoo 360.You will be afraid to leave your house. lol IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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