posted March 29, 2008 07:44 AM
well, first of all, i would like to say hello to everybody!i can see that it's been a couple of weeks since this topic was posted on, but i felt like i need some clarification, or support, or answers, or something. so...here's the deal *this is probably going to be a long post, i'm sorry*:
i read this topic because i've been curious about a man who is currently in my life *i don't know his chart or anything, i only know that he's a sagittarius, born dec. 8, 1981. i am a taurus, born may 9, 1981, with sagittarius rising.* i'm not very skilled at astrology, but i did get my progressed chart for the time when we first met, and my progressed moon is, in fact, in my progressed 7th house.
judging by what i've read, this appears to be indicative of something potentially significant.
every cell in my body is telling me that i should pursue a relationship with this person, but there are...several obstacles.
*here comes the long part*
i am already married, with a six-year-old son *interestingly, i got the progressed charts for the time when i met my husband, and the date that we got married, and there did not appear to be any significant aspects or a moon in the 7th* my husband and i *he's a cancer, born june 25, 1980* have never had an easy or entirely enjoyable relationship. we were each other's first serious relationships and got really caught up in the whole 'puppy love' thing. of course, at the time, it felt like we were 'meant to be,' but without anything to compare it to, i was never really all that sure. we have done countless things to hurt and disrespect each other, i through infidelity, he through lies and deception.
we were engaged after six months of dating, and i was pregnant after we had been together a little longer than a year. my father, for mostly religious reasons, pushed me to get married, and i complied, as i have always done. i am not very good at standing up for myself, and i hate saying no to people. if i had just thought about the engagement in the first place, i may never have gotten to the point where i now found myself.
but moving on.....
i suppose that we can attribute some of our marital stress to being so rushed into the whole marriage and family thing, and never really having a chance to 'grow up,' being pretty much forced to live with my parents since my son was just four months old *because we've never made enough money to be out on our own, my husband having a serious spending problem* honestly, though, i haven't felt romantically attracted to my husband for years, and am actually repulsed by the thought of having sex with him *sorry to be so blunt* to the point that i am honestly frightened at the thought of it sometimes.
over a year ago, i began to really look at the state of our relationship, and to question why we were still together *he had threatened divorce more than twice in the past, because of my compulsion to be with other people. each time, i was unable to let him go. i know that a lot of that has to do with my fear of letting people down by admitting that i'm not a good wife*
i waited months to bring anything up to him about it, and did it then only because i knew that he had feelings for another woman. i thought it about time that we were honest with each other.
so we sat down and talked about things, and agreed to work towards getting things as straightened out as possible, and getting a divorce sometime in the near future. at the time of our talk, and for a little while afterwards, we were happier and got along better than we had for years.
until he decided that he was not, in fact, in love with this other girl, and that he was, and would always be, in love with me. i am the only person he will ever want to be with, and we are destined to be together until the day we grow old and die.
the problem is, i had already found and fallen in love with someone else: the new guy i mentioned at the beginning of this ridiculously long post.
i met him at work. the first time i ever saw him, when he came in for his interview, i got the oddest feeling. more than just wanting him to be hired because he was cute, *which is is. very, very cute. with the most insanely gorgeous eyes i have ever seen.* i felt that he must be hired. that i must get to know him.
he got the job. i found every possible opportunity that i could to 'help' in his area, just to be near him. just so that he would see me and get to know who i was.
not all that long afterwards *a couple of months* we found ourselves working overnight together. we flirted like crazy, and spent most of the night standing as close to each other as possible without actually touching. i was leaving for a week and a half long vacation the next day, and when i left, he gave me a really sweet hug and said goodbye.
oh, yeah, did i mention that he's engaged to someone else?
so, i go on vacation, and i cannot stop thinking about him the whole time i'm gone. i don't think about my husband, just about him. i cannot get him out of my mind no matter how hard i try.
not even two weeks after i return home, i go to a concert with my father, stopping by work to pick my car up afterwards, already planning on going inside to see him. long story short, we had our first kiss(es) that night.
we had sex for the first time the next evening, after spending some time hanging out *he bought me a coffee, and we talked a lot, like we were old friends*
i found it funny that, after learning that we hung out and talked as much as we did, people commented that they hadn't seen him being that friendly with anyone else. he was nice, but mostly quiet, keeping to himself *although he never has any trouble talking to me, even at work*.
we started acting like devious little teenagers, taking every possible opportunity to be close to each other *at work, since that's the only place we could, really* he rubbed my shoulders, we sat together in the lobby, we made out like mad.
christmas, valentine's day, st. patricks's day *and the day after* we worked together, and ah...'hooked up.'
my husband knows how i feel about this guy, and he knows that i've slept with him, *because i told him* but he insists that we need to work it out, and that i need to be exclusively commited to 'saving our marriage.'
but i don't want to do that. i feel like if i pass up a chance with the man from work, i will regret it for the rest of my life.
my husband has had dreams of me leaving him and marrying the other man. i have had visions of the other man playing with my son, of our apartment together. it's crazy.
coincidentally, he *not my husband* had told me *and others* that his relationship is not going well, and hasn't been for a long time. i've talked to him about standing up for himself, and he finally is. yesterday, he moved out of the apartment he's been sharing with his girlfriend and her sister.
everything in me tells me that i can't let this go, but i don't know what to do. any advice, whether from experience, or observation, or anything, would be so, so wonderful. i am so lost right now.
thank you so much, i'm reallllly sorry that was so long.
<3
Lindaland
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posted March 08, 2008 04:24 PM
We broke up five years later around the time of my Saturn Return though (in my 7th house).
posted March 29, 2008 07:44 AM
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