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Author Topic:   The Scorpio Man (help!)
trypanosoma
Knowflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted November 02, 2007 10:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for trypanosoma     Edit/Delete Message
If a scorpio man has a really hard time expressing his personal problems, how can one start a trusting relationship with a scorpio man if he is too afraid to open himself up because of the women that has caused him harm in the past?

I'm a cancer woman seriously dating a scorpio man, and he says that of his exes (leo women) and people he used to date, that I've been the one who's understanding him the most w/o him needing to explain himself to me. He's moved on from his exes (he hasn't dated for years). He's felt an instant connection with me since we met and he's the first person I've been seeing seriously BECAUSE of this instant connection, so surreal!

I haven't done anything to make him think otherwise of me, but I'm just as afraid of being with someone who is still afraid that I might repeat history. How can I show him that he can trust me if he still isn't comfortable telling me what bothers him? I'm afraid that I might push too hard w/o realizing it, and at the same time fall REALLY hard for him, for the one man that still doesn't fully trust me because of his past.

What I've learned from him so far...
I don't want to push the scorpio man to open up. He doesn't give his feelings easily because though his cool exterior doesn't show it, he is very vulnerable underneath. Hence why he's very cautious on opening up. Earning his trust will take time. He will open up on his own (and he will to the cancerian woman... hehehe). lol.

What I want to learn from him...
How can I find out what bothers him without asking (he's not going to admit his feelings)? How can I know if I'm getting TOO close to him if he's not going to tell me that I'm forcing him to open up? Why is he seriously dating me if he's still afraid of me repeating these exes' mistakes? If he has that mentality, does this mean that we're doomed already?

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 251
From:
Registered: Feb 2007

posted November 03, 2007 07:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
One thing I've learned about Scorpio men, the ones who are serious anyway:

This trust stuff takes time, and lots of it! If you're a Cancer, the Scorp is probably much slower and more fixed (not to mention more guarded) about his emotional life than you are.

My advice would be to relax, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the time the two of you spend together. To reassure him, meet his eyes and smile, or hold his hand. Enjoy being quiet together and let him relax while spending time not talking. Always be honest with him, and it will encourage him over time to feel safe enough to open up to you.

For now, it's early, and I would just drop this line of concern and not try to "fix" your emotional life together for the future right now. The Scorpio can't move that fast or open up that fast. Be true and good to each other, one day at a time.

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trypanosoma
Knowflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted November 03, 2007 09:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for trypanosoma     Edit/Delete Message
Thank you so much for the wonderful advice Lucia. I did realize late that I've been pushing him at first, but he had to be honest and tell me to relax. We've spoken about this two weeks ago and he now understands that I'm also (trying) to take this one day at a time, let it be and, like you said, be true and good to each other. It's so much harder said than done, and I have to tie my hands behind my back to not call (to give him his space), but it's all about a mutual understanding. I appreciate the reply.

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Love
Knowflake

Posts: 628
From: Canada
Registered: Feb 2006

posted November 05, 2007 03:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Love     Edit/Delete Message
I agree with the advice given by Lucia23. Scorpios need emotional space, but what you'll probably find is that the more space you give him, the less he'll need and consequently, the faster the whole process of opening up will go.

Of course, you can't just pretend to give him space. What I mean by that is that you must energetically let him be and he will notice that, likely appreciate it and then know that he can trust you. Also, Scorpio men usually like to chase.

They're funny little muffins.

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trypanosoma
Knowflake

Posts: 6
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted November 05, 2007 11:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for trypanosoma     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Love,

Thanks for the input. I couldn't agree more, they're funny little muffins. I've noticed that the less attention I pay to him (when we're not together doing our own thing), the more texts he sends me... he even goes as far as to call! And he doesn't call people. On the other hand, if I text or call, he would respond late (if at all) while I'm wondering why I haven't heard from him.

So yeah, it's best for us to stay busy and enjoy our own life apart when we are apart. In other words, as hard as it is, don't call if you want to hear from the scorpio man. Like you said, they do like the chase.

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