posted November 17, 2007 05:48 AM         

I just wanted to ask if the following pluto contacts could explain why it seems so hard for us to say a final goodbye.

His Sun squ my Pluto
His Moon opposite my Pluto
HIs Merc squ my Pluto
His Mars trine my Pluto
His Saturn opposite my Pluto

We have some great synastry and pretty good composite too, but we seem to be constantly battling to be the one 'in control' in this relationship...even down to who contacts whom, who initiates etc
I've never felt this kind of pull towards another person in my life before, and I've had my fair share of relationships with guys including a very long marriage which didnt affect me this way.

posted November 17, 2007 01:49 PM         

Holy Moly, all the tense Pluto aspects there are all power struggles. The Pluto opposite Saturn is out and out war.

Pluto opposite Moon is a strong emotional link, over powering and it's all high pressure.

Pluto is a pressure cooker, it's the atomic bomb, it's destruction for renewal.

Then you have the Pluto trine Mars, it's highly passionate sexual energy. That Pluto opposite Moon can also add a lot of sexual magnetism but it can also add some very uneasy energies as well.

You say his emotions are all over the place, well, if it's his Moon receiving the Pluto, his emotions are being bombarded by a nuclear bomb and the mafia all at once.

...and that's the mild version of the story. It seems you are both working out some big time karma. BE GENTLE WITH EACH OTHER. Don't even play at sarcasm games, poking fun at each other, that kind of stuff. You both affect each other so deeply I can't even imagine it.

Passion and Pressure.

Please respond as to whether I have hit any of the points correctly, it helps us all learn and maybe you can explain some of what's going on if it's not TOO personal for you.

Peace to you both,

Geocosmic Valentine
boirlesnow@yahoo.com

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"Everybody is a star!"

posted November 17, 2007 02:23 PM         

Everything you wrote resonated very deeply with me.

There is a very powerful emotional (and physical) bond between us but it seems as if he constantly fights this by distancing himself and behaving like a jerk (sorry if that offends anyone) much of the time when things start to become intense.
He comes close and then backs away and can disappear for long periods of time.
I cannot even try to label what our 'relationship' actually is, but I must stress that he has never made any promises to me and neither of us has even tried to have a committed relationship together, for several reasons.
We've been involved for several years and I have now reached the point where I want this to either end completely, or I want to try to make a go of this thing, try not to be scared by it, and see what happens between us. We are both now single.

I am afraid of the depth and intensity of this relationship - sexually and emotionally. Perhaps he is too.

I have often felt something Karmic about it.

Some more info that may be helpful-
I'm Aqua Sun/Cancer Mn/Leo Asc
He is Sag Sun/Pisces Mn

I checked the composite for Pluto contacts and found the following, which are all trines to Pluto - Sun, Moon, Mercury and Mars.

Some additional, perhaps relevant, synastry aspects are his Venus is conjunct my sun,venus,mars and saturn. His Venus is opposite my Moon.

I feel as if I will never be able to be 'free' of him, of my feelings for him. And I need to be able to be free of him, because I am now ready for a serious relationship, and if it cannot be with him, I need to Let Go of him in order to give the best of myself to someone new.

Sorry this got long.
It was somewhat cathartic

posted November 17, 2007 02:53 PM         

That Venus conjunct Saturn between you is the glue. Also, that Pluto-Saturn opposition adds a little also. Those Saturn aspects between you both also suggests the fear you both feel. But one important thing to remember about relationships is this: You will never enter into one if you feel fear. It can't happen.

One thing I've learned but didn't allow myself to believe for a long time is that some people can love you with all their heart but if they can't handle the feelings, they will hook up with someone that they love a whole lot less intensely so it won't hurt them as much if that person leaves them.

Many of us grow up to believe that the person we feel that ultimate magical love for will be the one we spend our entire lives with and we wonder how they can leave us, even when we feel how much they love us, we can see it, the love is actually tangible. The sad truth is that many people will drop that kind of love like a hot potato. It takes courage to love like that and not everyone has that courage.

Those Saturn aspects also introduce the issues of trust and loyalty and those issues are challenged beyond belief when Pluto meets Saturn stressfully. Pluto-Saturn opposition suggests war, when 9/11 happened, Pluto was opposite Saturn and that was the beginning of the war with Afghanistan, etc. Unless you both work out your karmic issues, I would do my best to cut those ties and create some serious boundaries. It sounds like you are working on yourself now in that direction because you want to give your all to whomever you decide to love.

You will probably never stop having feelings for this man, that's part of growing up, that just because we break up with someone or move on, adults learn that feelings don't just die. There are many men that I will love for the rest of my life and it's supposed to be that way, it's what will help you to be even more wonderful to the next person you allow into your life.

Good luck to both of you.

Geocosmic Valentine

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"Everybody is a star!"

posted November 18, 2007 06:43 AM         

Your reply has helped me to understand and see things much more clearly. Some of my friends have tried to help me by giving me the now infamous 'He's Just Not Into You' line but I know that it is not the case here.
What you wrote is so true. Sometimes fear CAN get in the way of love. Earlier this year he was ready for a committed relationship. He was behaving consistently, thoughtfull and romantically but I did not feel ready at that time, and my fears overtook me and so I backed off.
Now the tables are turned - I want to move forward with him and he doesn't want to.

People frequently try to make situations black or white. I think that is often far too simplistic for relationships.