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Author
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Topic: what is happening to me?
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alma_pisces
Knowflake Posts: 251
From: bottom of the ocean
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 09, 2007 01:32 AM
 
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Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 7710
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 09, 2007 02:00 AM
I don't believe in marriage.I think its a man made institution.  Or, to put it another way: Marriage was made for man,
not man for marriage. The only law is the law of the heart. Follow your heart. Be free. Experience what life has for you. Most importantly, be honest. If your relationship is real,
it will bear the strain, and deepen.
hsc
Venus/Uranus
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GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 2258
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted December 09, 2007 04:19 AM
If you love your husband and you want your marriage to work, you have to stop thinking about this other guy. Put it this way... you don't really know this other guy. There's an attraction that feels overpowering, but you really don't *know* him - that's the thing to keep in mind. I don't think you need to quit your job, but maybe find some way to remind yourself that your marriage is what's most important to you. I'll admit I've felt this kind of attraction to another guy. It's pretty mindblowing and yes your thoughts/feelings can be intense. But then I found out some facts about the guy and by virtue of him becoming more "real" and with some pretty big failings, the attraction lessened somewhat. Are you happy with your marriage? If you aren't happy then it's easier to become very attracted to another person.
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MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3721
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted December 10, 2007 01:14 AM
HSC, I see so much truth and beauty (and courage) in what you said. 
~MM
also
Venus/Uranus
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MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3721
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted December 10, 2007 01:21 AM
Also...I have found that when you follow connections until there is some sort of exchange, not necessarily sexual, it could be information or even a thing, then the intense urge is gone because you did the thing that you were meant to be drawn together to do...
If that makes any sense. There might be something you are meant to learn from him that will benefit you or even your relationship to you husband in the future. What might be bothering you is imaging giving your husband a similar freedom. You might not trust it. Trust takes a long time and it is earned, not just given.
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alma_pisces
Knowflake Posts: 251
From: bottom of the ocean
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 10, 2007 07:49 PM
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GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 2258
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted December 10, 2007 08:38 PM
Whatever happens does so for a reason. You have free will, and what you do with what is put in front of you is up to you and what you feel is right for you. Bear in mind you're also very young to be married, and this could happen to you several times. If your marriage is strong enough, you will bear it. If you are tempted too far, there will be fallout. I will admit to you (and others have heard this here on LL before) that I was in a relationship when I was about your age, it was similar to a marriage and we were together five years. Then one day I fell completely head over heels for someone else and my relationship blew apart in what seemed like an instant. I am still with "the other guy" 2 1/2 years later, but the entire 2 1/2 years has been a mess in one way or another with the emotional fallout. I hurt my ex more than I could bear and it still does upset me. It's also a wound that I don't think has completely healed for him either. So I speak from experience when I say that once something happens, there may be no going back. So despite the excitement and the heart flutters and the romance and the intensity... be careful, because the person you hurt the most could be yourself.  Best of luck to you. IP: Logged |
alma_pisces
Knowflake Posts: 251
From: bottom of the ocean
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 10, 2007 09:26 PM
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GeminiLover75
Knowflake Posts: 2258
From:
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted December 10, 2007 09:42 PM
Not at all. That's how I felt too. IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2710
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 13, 2007 09:23 AM
its all pretty ok , lady ! nothing unusual , i mean this is life and things like this happen .
but life isn't all about emotions only , lady ! right ! so you got suppress your feelings a bit or rather a better idea - something that i do - enjoy the feelings but keep your mind working too .
see, i feel its impossible to stop the flow of your thoughts .
you felt something for man , good enough ! now enjoy those feelings but always keep a very simple fact in mind , the man might not be as good as you believe or way your feelings at the moment make it to be ( a image that gets created subconciously ) and commitment is important - commitment to your husband - ask your self - you love him , dont you ?
if you still do then the feeling for this new person is just a mere feeling or infatuation but if the answer to it is no - then start thinking for your self .
did you deny yourself something that you might have wanted ?? IP: Logged |
ErickaF
Knowflake Posts: 317
From: D.C.
Registered: Apr 2007
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posted December 13, 2007 12:46 PM
Alma you did marry too young. But if you really are in love and want to be with your husband you will make it work and it will work with your effort.
I am a little older than you are by only two years but I love being single...dating and meeting new people are the best and I do hope to meet the special person that I want to spend the rest of my life with. Haven't met that person yet...lucky you you met him so early ;-)
Its okay to look when you are married or in a relationship...nothing wrong with that.
How long have you been with your husband? This guy at work...do you guys talk?
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alma_pisces
Knowflake Posts: 251
From: bottom of the ocean
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 13, 2007 05:13 PM
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cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2710
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 14, 2007 05:19 AM
you dont even need to do that .
its isn't necessary to be happy . i'll suggest you something , let things turn out the way they want to .and go by your gut feeling .
i remember i told you about the commitment part but for that you gotta ask yourself for your feelings towards to your husband .
and go slow . very very slow .
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cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2710
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 14, 2007 05:22 AM
oh and btw , whatz your husband's sign detail and how about this guy ? i remember you had a scorp sis in law .what about her now ? IP: Logged |
alma_pisces
Knowflake Posts: 251
From: bottom of the ocean
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted December 15, 2007 09:46 AM
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cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2710
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted December 15, 2007 01:24 PM
i think thats the best way to deal with your sis in law .
and well your husband - you feel better , i believe .IP: Logged |
ListensToTrees
Knowflake Posts: 4563
From: Infinity
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted December 15, 2007 02:19 PM
Feeling an attraction/ connection with someone isn't always something that can be explained by the rational mind. There are just some things that can't.There is probably something about this man that your soul can relate to on a deeper level. It is the soul's innermost desire to keep on growing. It is only natural to want more in a relationship that is stagnating, but we bombard ourselves with feelings of guilt.....having said that nobody wants to get hurt. But you have to find out what you truly want and be honest with yourself and when you know for sure you must be honest, in a gentle way, with your husband. Break-ups are always going to hurt, but what hurts more is being lied to. If a relationship is stagnant, it is still possible, in many ways to bring the spark back. Find new ways to stimulate other (intellectually) and so on. And just because you feel a connection with another person, it doesn't necessarily mean this connection will end up being deep and profound..... Sorry, lot's to think about, I know! I suppose all you can do really, is search deep inside yourself for the answers. IP: Logged |
Heart--Shaped Cross
Knowflake Posts: 7710
From: 11/6/78 11:38am Boston, MA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted December 15, 2007 05:12 PM
Melody, quote:
I have found that when you follow connections until there is some sort of exchange, not necessarily sexual, it could be information or even a thing, then the intense urge is gone because you did the thing that you were meant to be drawn together to do...
If that makes any sense. There might be something you are meant to learn from him that will benefit you or even your relationship to you husband in the future. What might be bothering you is imagining giving your husband a similar freedom. You might not trust it. Trust takes a long time and it is earned, not just given.
Very good points. 
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Lindaland
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