posted February 14, 2008 03:09 PM         

I've got a wicked case of Cancer hanging on for dear life.

I dated this cancer years ago, broke it off in 2003. That fall he found his new wife and the mother of his children. Two years into it he emails me out of the blue, "how you been?" So we reconnect and talk...his wife ultimately doesn't like the idea of us talking, so we end it...Then this past September he emails and calls again... This time he says his wife cheated and it was ultimately our talks that were the cause of it. Then it he proceeds to tell me all these horror stories about his ex and him trying to make it work...I'm hanging on the line you know, thinking what the hell am I? His new shrink? I'm consoling him...all of the sudden...then I'm like I'm done with this...Then he calls me the same night asking about us, ever standing a chance of getting back together. He even had the audacity to ask me if I still loved him...anyway...it end rather abruptly, I had to get off work.. Then no word..Then just the other day, I realized he's only msn...He added me. So he's writes a message, "jane?" to which I say, "yeah" Then he goes "how are you" and to which I said, "are you popping in for another quick visit," Then no word...unbelievable...

Can I nip this Cancer thing in the bud for good...Does he seriously think, I'm some momento of another life that he can cling to despite the fact that I'm VERY REAL and at this point annoyed...I've even e-mail him telling him it would be perfectly fine and understandable that he just deleted me from his list...But yet he hangs on in SILENCE...what's the deal..Enlighten me people and how do I shed this shell of a life?

posted February 14, 2008 05:04 PM         

Either way it's tough getting rid of a cancer guy. They seriously don't go away. My mom dated one and he was abusive.. the dude still tries to get her attention all these years later (he's my sisters father.. so she has to deal with him once in a while) anyway... My best advice just ignore him.. he'll eventually have no choice. Don't answer his emails, IM's or phone calls. Act as though he never existed. Eventually he won't.

posted February 14, 2008 06:09 PM         

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Capricorn sun / Scorpio rising / Sagittarius moon

posted February 15, 2008 02:21 AM         

the kind of case that yours is , my feeling is - some or the other time he must have had strong feelings for you , in the past he might have moved on from but that was(most probably) half heartedly . that is the reason he has come back again .

the question is why did he move on in the past if he had such strong feelings for you ?
the answer actually has alot of variables .and this can differ from person to person. one of the main reason can be his own restriction of himself and his own inhibitions.

the best way to deal , talk straight.

Silver: i agree with you on cancer man . just wanted to know what would you say , happens with cancer woman in similar situation?

posted February 15, 2008 02:02 PM         

Augentier: "If you don't love him anymore tell him that."

I did just that. He asked me if I still did and I was very clear in saying NO and in fact when he asked me if there was a possiblility of us ever having anything again, this is what I said: "No because I created a life for myself, and I created a family for myself." That was the end of it.

So I guess I'll just have to not respond. In an ideal world, I'd like us to be friends and he not being so schitzophrenic about it...Sometimes I feel I'm really dealing with several people and I'm the Gemini...

Hippiechick: Can you tell me more about these cord cutting exercises? Please?

Cancerrg: I'll answer this question for you...why did he move on? He didn't really. He just withdrew and I moved on ( let me just say that this took me quite a while to get over and now that I look back on it I can't believe I was that strong to walk away)...His estranged mother died, we were living apart, and his financial situation was plummeting. Why hang on to someone who couldn't give back? And now that I look at it this way, maybe both our perceptions on love differed too much to weather time?

I know I still have feelings there but I'll never relive this again, because like I've said life goes on and I'm fully committed to my family and the life I need now. I've really grown since him and I wish him the same.

So like ya'll say, I guess I'll just ignore and ignore and hope that he goes away nicely.

Thanks all for taking the time, I really appreciate it. Sometimes close friends and family advice is just not enough and I like to hear from more objective sources and of oourse fellow astrology junkies...

posted February 15, 2008 02:27 PM         

Well, basically, you envision the cords that bind the two you being cut, one at a time...

And they are many, the heart, the mind, the sexual cords...start with whatever is most important to you.

Visualize you and he, connected by however many cords are approprate, then visualize cutting (and I strongly recommend one at a time, in different sittings) the cords...like if you want no sexual feelings between the two of you, then first, visualize a silver cord, connecting the sex organs, you and he floating in the ether, and YOU take scissors, a knife, a sword, whatever is YOUR fancy and cut the cord...

A very gifted soul advised me to, once cutting the cord, reconnect his side to the Sun...that way he will not feel the energy shift and will not react. This has proven to be effective!

Then absorbe your cord into you.

Next time you visit the visulaization, see he and you with only the cords left to be cut there, the last one you cut must be visualized as missing.

But like I said, cord-cutting only works if you are really ready to let go, cause just merely within the spark of not wanting to let go....it is futile.

This is HARD and takes commitment and work, but is SO effective!!!

Whenver my psycho crab boy comes to mind, I visualize him floating in the ether and me as well...but separate...no cords..no connection....

Blessings and luck!!!

posted February 19, 2008 05:48 AM         

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posted February 20, 2008 12:42 PM         

First: She had to honestly tell him to take a flying leap (preferably right out of her life). And when I say honest, I mean BRUTALLY honest. Don’t bother trying to spare this guy’s feelings. If you do he will probably just construe whatever you say to fit whatever fantasy he has in his head about the two of you. Clearly, he doesn’t WANT to hear it’s over.

Second: Silver Fairy was right on the money. After you’ve made it crystal clear you are through with him don't contact him in ANY way. No emails, no IPs, no calls, not even via ESP. Any contact would probably just serve as a sign of encouragement.

I have Venus in cancer. I love Cancers. Only the strong and able kind, though. Every sign has its faults. A mature Cancer can be very warm, loving, supportive, protective, absolute gods send of a partner. BUT this ONLY applies when they are mature. An immature or insecure Cancer is a nightmare.

posted February 20, 2008 05:17 PM         

It is a violation of the universe to penetrate somebody else's energy space unwanted...and what goes around comes around.

posted February 25, 2008 05:35 PM         

Well we never had a huge falling out, but I did write him a cruel e-mail once, but he and I were way beyond falling out at this point. The e-mail if it helped end things, he certainly didn't physically or verbally end anything. I was the one who left a message and said it was over, which at this point was all I could really do. I really stuck to my guns and didn't try and reach him days, weeks or months later. He did call me a few months later to say "HI." Back then, I told him he couldn't do that!!!I was too angry at him and the vain gesture. Then he called two years later, then now a year after that...

By the way, I'm talking in terms of emotions. He was drained of vesting any emotion into us, except for here and there. It wasn't a relationship after awhile. We lived apart for sometime because of a temporary family situation I was dealing with. Maybe it was selfish of me not to stay with him, but I made it clear he was still a priority. We talked everyday all the time, several times. But as they say long distance is a no win win situation... In any case, I couldn't put myself out there not knowing where I stood, so there it went down the drain.

Here are my placements:
Sun Gemini 1°26'40 in house 8 Moon Sagittarius 6°36'25 in house 2
Mercury Taurus 9°17'36 in house 8
Venus Cancer 1°00'32 in house 9
Mars Leo 18°20'08 end of house 10
Jupiter Cancer 7°14'10 in house 9
Saturn Leo 24°18'33 in house 11
Uranus Scorpio 13°39'29 in house 2
Neptune Sagittarius 17°22'35 in house 3
Pluto Libra 14°10'41 in house 1
True Node Libra 4°19'50 in house 12

posted February 27, 2008 01:03 PM         

i have always believed , there are certain things in life that where we should always go by what our heart says rather than what the logic says ?

so if you you even have a iota of love for him ( and he for you ) and you feel you people can manage the shortcomings once you come together ,TALK TALK TALK ...........
and plaese sort this out .

posted February 29, 2008 10:44 AM         

sorry to say where I am at in life is pretty much set for me. I have my own family with a daughter and hoyfriend. We may never marry but that's beside the point. I have vested too much in this relationship and though I may have had or have feelings, doesn't mean that I'd give up what I have on a whim. Maybe that's what my feelings widdled down to over the years, but I care too much for my own family to do something as selfish as reconnected with an "old" love. Which is exactly that: an old love from a time I don't hope to revisit. I believe as the say goes, time changes everything. I don't have those idealistic ideas about love conquering all. I feel like there's a lot of personal choice involved in how you make your life. And my fellow cancer is not there, how selfish to actually come at me with these questions after so much time and after so much heartache without a vested interest in my life but his own. You know where I'm coming from. So no way in hell I'd go back...'

As far as his commitment to his wife goes...well she's moved on to greener pastures. He's tried to reconenct because they have children together and that he still loves her.

As far as the talking goes...that's just it..it's based upon his WILLINGNESS to talk to me. Like I've said before he pops in and out of my life. At this point, I'm beyond talking his calls or e-mails. The last time, I declined but he begged be and ssid, "not to be like that." LMAO...I'm so ridiculous sometimes to think I can be a friend to him...anyway...I'm glad I'm not dealing with this at present but who's to say he'll try to reaach me again...

Also one more thing..the day I broke up with him too...I said it very clear...don't email me, message me or call me..PERIOD. But the first time he called months later, that was when i was hopeful we'd get back together but years later?

posted March 01, 2008 01:16 PM         

Kind of like love magick, tread those waters very, very carefully!

posted March 06, 2008 01:59 AM         

as far as i have seen cancer-gem female bonds , i think they normally get along well like cancer and gem males .
one of my closest frined is a gem .someone i can totally rely on .

but i a not very sure of the business relations . i think we both can teach other a lot from our differnt persepectives but this differnece is the one that can create big problems too .
we rely on intitutions and have good business sense normally while gems tend to rely more on logics but business ,i believe is like human behaviour which is not only logic but intitution as well .

The other most important part is power , remember cancer as they might seem to be meek and they have very acute sense of power and money .