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Author Topic:   DId i blow it?
victoriasgirl1
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: Tampa, Florida, USA
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 10, 2008 12:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for victoriasgirl1     Edit/Delete Message
So, here's my question to any kind souls out there who are willing to help me. After 4 years, I'm still in love with a guy that I worked with, and who I believe also has/had very strong feelings for me. I pushed him away basically and hurt him. I'm still not over him but I don't know if he has any true, strong feelings for me (he's very cautious and even moreso, since I hurt him). I don't want to play games or get caught up in power struggles, but it seems from some of our aspects that we tend to compete with each other. Anyways, is there any hope for this relationship? I still really care about him after 4 years. He isn't dating anyone and his only viable objection to me is that he doesn't need any distractions in his life right now. I've never been the kind of girl to throw myself at a man, but I needed to come clean w/him to find out if there was any possibility of us. Please take a look and tell me what you see.

Thanks to all.

Love,
~vic

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bombshell
Knowflake

Posts: 49
From:
Registered: Apr 2007

posted March 10, 2008 01:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for bombshell     Edit/Delete Message
Hi sweetie!

I'm afraid i know nothing (or very little) about charts and aspects. But I have recently been going through the hurt eachother/powerstruggle/try to protect myself situation. I know how it feels...horrible! And being in love should feel good- shouldn't it?! I'm still in the chaos of it all, but i'm hoping that true love and connections triumph over all these other politics. I know this probably isn't that helpful, but I hope you find comfort in knowing that you're not the only one. At the end of the day we're human, we make mistakes, but i think it's about how we bounce back from them that counts!

Good luck! {{{{{{Sending positive vibes}}}}}}}
Bombshell

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victoriasgirl1
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: Tampa, Florida, USA
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 10, 2008 07:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for victoriasgirl1     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks bombshell, you're right. At the end of the day, it IS all about how you bounce back. And I appreciate your post and positive vibes.

Thank You!

Love,
~vic

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MysticMelody
Moderator

Posts: 3375
From:
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 10, 2008 04:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Vic If you used the exact birth time for both of you... I think he feels an easy connection with you. It looks like a lot of his planets are in your house of service, so maybe there is something you could ask for his help with... or offer your own. Then you could let him know about the connection you feel in a non-threatening way. If you can write to him, it might be a nice thing since you both have each others Mercury in the 5th. I'm just guessing here.
For a real "reading" you can post an additional thread in the Private Readings Forum. It's new.

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Geocosmic Valentine
Knowflake

Posts: 558
From: New York, NY
Registered: Sep 2007

posted March 10, 2008 05:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geocosmic Valentine     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Victoriasgirl1,

You said, "I pushed him away and hurt him."

You never said whether the two of you dated or had a relationship other than co-workers. You mentioned that you both had feelings for each other.

What happened? How did you hurt him?

Astrology has to be brought to the reality, not the other way around. With all of that in mind, I'll explain what I see.

You have a T-square which is a tense and energetic dominant aspect. You have Pluto opposite Mars. That opposition is squared by your Sun-Moon conjunction and they are all in Cardinal signs. What does that all mean? It highly suggests that you've got a strong issue with rage, anger and volatile emotions. I could be wrong, but you will let us know in your response.

When you add his Moon in there, your T-Square becomes a Grand Square or a Grand Cross. It feels like there was some kind of attack on him whether it was just verbal or physical, you'll have to tell us, but that configuration spells out the two of you raging at each other and affecting each others emotions strongly. If there is love here, there was probably a strong sexual attraction, but much too strong to keep your emotions calm. Also, his Pluto squares your Sun-Moon conjunction. That's pure competition with Sun square Pluto and an incredibly powerful emotional involvement bordering on obsession on your part. His Saturn-Venus conjunction sextiles your Sun and Moon, so this is where your feeling of possibly wanting more commitment comes from. Also, you feel at home with him because his Moon feeds directly into your Nodal Axis, that is a soulmate conjunction HOWEVER!!! It doesn't mean that he is THE ONE, it just means that the two of you have come together to teach each other something. I don't think there is a strong enough Saturn connection with him to get you back together.

Your Uranus squares his Mars, that's even more anger and rage, so it appears to me that he has a lot of reason to hold back.

What you need to know about him is that Venus-Saturn conjunction makes him SUPER CAUTIOUS in terms of relationships, his Moon in the 10th house conjunct his MC makes his life about his work and doing his own thing. He could very well be a workaholic.

I don't know if I'm leaving you with much hope here, but we all create our own reality, YOU HAVE FREE WILL and so does he, but my assessment would be that you two don't make a very comfortable couple. There's A LOT OF ANGER AND COMPETITION.

Does any of this ring true to you? Please feel free to tell me if I've got any of this wrong.

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine

------------------
"Everybody is a star!"
Sly & The Family Stone

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victoriasgirl1
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: Tampa, Florida, USA
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 10, 2008 07:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for victoriasgirl1     Edit/Delete Message
LOL. So much of this rings true, Geo. It's really kind of insane on my part I guess. I think you're right about the bordering on obsession in the respect that he seems to embody some sort of ideal that I have and I can't let it go (there's that Cancer tenacity). However, I also won't chase, I left the ball in his court. (I do have some pride). I gave him my # and told him to call me if he ever wants to talk as friends. Then I asked him if he was going to lose my number, he rolled his eyes at me and said no.

What happened? Well I'm pretty sure he was interested, we had alot in common, including the competitiveness. He tried to hit me over the head with a one-liner from the start and I wasn't having it. So anyways, then began a push and pull, love/hate reaction/attraction. He'd say or do something to set me off and I'd retaliate. It was bad. I had to quit that job because I was so hurt and I think that I pretty much hurt him too although he's the silent brooding type. He would flirt with other girls, I with other guys and around we went, hurting each other.

In any case, I haven't been able to let it go even though I hadn't seen him in a few years. So, coincidentally, I bumped into an old friend who'd worked where we all were and she gave me the info. Strangely, I had already made plans earlier that week to go up to where he was without knowing it. I just kept wishing and wishing to see him.

Here's the other thing about our "dynamic"- around the same time I'd started working where I did, I started receiving anonymous emails and ecards. I wouldn't get them when he was mad at me. I just think he's very subliminal. (It's either my sixth sense or I'm a complete lunatic). Being that I'm have a strong intuition, it's hard for me to believe it's nothing.

In any case, when I went to go see him, he seemed happy to see me, if a little tense (actually alot tense) and nervous. I told him I wanted his number and would be back to get it (lol) but then I never did. I got scared. I'd made plans with a friend to go up to where he works again (I sound pathetic!) and asked him for it again. He said no, that he didn't need any distractions in his life. I asked him if he was seeing someone and he said no. I shook my head and he told me not to shake my head at him and not to be mad at him. He also told me repeatedly how much money he's making, his hours, days off, and benefits. Later, a friend of his was watching me, to see who I was with, etc. I feel like I'm being tested by him all over again.

In addition, recently, I've started getting those emails again from an anonymous person. My online "friend" told me to "wait and see".

I have changed. Yes, I have very strong emotions and I did my best to take him down (emotionally) so the attack you see is right. But I've changed and I am willing to sacrifice and I think we've both grown. I think with communication and honesty, obstacles are able to be overcome. I don't think he's perfect but I haven't been able to shake this.

I do think that we set each other off but I also think that it's possible that we could be the other's greatest ally. All I can say is, I have to try. He has to take his time, make me pay or whatever and I'm willing to accept it because I started all this negativity. I want to end it. How? By being my true self to him, vulnerable and open. I lied and played games to avoid intimacy and got nothing in the end. I want to show him there's more to me. I know there's a very strong sexual attraction between us (still) and he's still very jealous or possessive. I have to jump through hoops on this one but I feel like I need to, to grow.

I'm interested in him and I think he is me too. I guess I just have to wait and see if he wants to be friends, maybe more later, after I've proven myself. Btw, this is highly irregular for me as I NEVER bend to anyone. I never show my weakness, I usually strike first when offended. These are horrible traits but I recognize them and take responsibility for them.

I think alot of the anger between us is sexual tension. (we were never intimately involved-just emotionally and mentally) which is strange because he's very promiscuous so it pretty much ****** me off that he didn't try to make a move on me.

I don't know. Does he seem like the vengeful sort from his chart? Is he feigning interest to get me back? (I'm also highly suspicious in addition to all the other wonderful traits I've mentioned). I just have this feeling and it won't let go.

Thanks to all for their help in the reading. Please know that I'm sensitive so please be kind.

Love to all,
~vic

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Geocosmic Valentine
Knowflake

Posts: 558
From: New York, NY
Registered: Sep 2007

posted March 10, 2008 07:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Geocosmic Valentine     Edit/Delete Message
Did you see the movie "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Well, that's your chart comparison as sensitively as I can put it. As a matter of fact, your chart is somewhat similar to Brad and Angelina in that you both need projects to work on "together" without the competition. When I see charts together like this I always recommend that the couple NOT TEASE EACH OTHER. And I'm very serious about it. You can't play sarcasm games with each other, not even the little ones. And it's difficult because in some ways it feels the most fun with a couple like this, but if one member of the couple is misunderstood even the slightest bit, the other one will attack.

I once heard another astrologer talk about Brad and Angelina's chart comparison like this, he said, "If you hold up a piece of paper between these two, the paper will catch fire." That's what happens with you and this guy. You have your own brand of temper because you have your own Mars square Uranus. He has his own brand of temper with Mars square Pluto. Your anger comes out of nowhere like lightening, it's unpredictable. His anger is a deep rage, a very angry guy. Perhaps you two can understand each other, and maybe you need to have a sexual relationship or something. I don't know, but you trigger each other very deeply emotionally.

I also know that people do what they want, they have to see it through and it seems that you feel you need to do that, but don't go into it allowing him to get revenge on you, that's not healthy either. Never allow yourself to be abused, even mildly.....although you both might have a little S&M fantasy thing going on.

.....just make sure you're clear on your safety words.

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine

------------------
"Everybody is a star!"
Sly & The Family Stone

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victoriasgirl1
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: Tampa, Florida, USA
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 10, 2008 09:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for victoriasgirl1     Edit/Delete Message
Geo, thanks a million! I love that movie and pretty much because I think it sums up love, my kinda love anyways. It is explosive and especially when they're against each other, but when they come together, they make quite a formidable team.I do think we can understand each other but it will take time and patience. I just think he has to get all his anger upset and frustration (especially sexual towards me) out of his system.(I'll be happy to oblige! LOL). But seriously, I appreciate everyone's help here. Thanks to everyone!

Love to all,
~vic

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wlorac
Knowflake

Posts: 122
From: New Zealand
Registered: Aug 2002

posted March 14, 2008 06:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wlorac     Edit/Delete Message
I would simply tell him the truth, that your sorry that you hurt his feelings (which is probably the most important thing in his mind) and that its been four years since youve been together yet you still think of him.

Just talk this out with him, rather than us as we cant respond the way he can.

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victoriasgirl1
Knowflake

Posts: 126
From: Tampa, Florida, USA
Registered: Dec 2005

posted March 15, 2008 02:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for victoriasgirl1     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks wlorac, I've tried but he keeps throwing things my way. Obstacles in my path. He's testing me. He's very secretive and goes about "finding me out" it in very strange ways. Obviously, he doesn't want to be hurt (again) but it's really hard to get through to him. I'll just have to wait and see.

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