posted April 10, 2008 11:05 PM
I just feel like I need to express myself right now..My daughter's father and the man I believed once to be my twin soul, I mean I used to know and now...well, it's painful what he has turned into. He is not a fraction of who I used to know and I feel he can't have a soul anymore because of what he has said and done since he found out we were going to have a child.
Today I had court for child support and I haven't seen him since I told him I was pregnant and his hands were shaking so badly I couldn't help but feel terrible for him. I believe he is withdrawing from alchohol or some other drug and it is so sad.
But hope is what I think ties us all together in some way and I have to pray and hope that he will be ok, and get through his addiction. I still care about him very much and everytime I see my daughter I think of him and just wish there was something I could do to help him. This hurts me so badly to see him like this.
I realize it is his life and we cannot force our will on anyone, but I am a Scorpio and I believe there is always something we can do..letting go and giving it to God is so hard for me to do.