posted April 12, 2008 07:25 PM         

Do you think it’s possible to love someone without having known them for a long time? Or do you think that true feelings take time to develop? Have you ever thought you loved someone, but then looking back later you realized you didn’t really love them?

posted April 13, 2008 03:25 PM         

nowadays i wonder if all those boys who i thought i was in love with were just my fascinations and obsessions. then i dated someone for a month or so who i thought, for the first time in my life, i could settle down with and have a baby with, and then now i'm actually throughly disgusted that i had anything with him in the first place (he was a clingy cancer...)

then my best friend is eternally heart-broken by the love of his life, and he says he'd never been in love as destructively and passionately as that, and that it'll haunt him for the rest of his life. i'm curious how it must be to love someone to that degree, but i'm afraid that it will break me forever like it broke him.

posted April 13, 2008 03:28 PM         

This is all very well put. That’s what I have pondering. I think so often we get lost in a moment, a feeling and proclaim we love someone. But what does that mean? How do you know?

I have loved deeply. People whom I can’t stand now. Does that mean I really loved them, or was I infatuated? I am just trying to find my own truth about these things… As much as I don't think there are prescriptives, I am trying to figure out where I stand when it comes to these things.

I have come to realize that I am quick to utter the words "I love you", but what do they really mean? I have never uttered them without feeling them though...

posted April 14, 2008 08:56 AM         

it's not love if there's a need for the other one to reciprocate. for example, if the concept of god is real (you decide), then you've got a clue of what love really is. god loves everyone, even someone who doesn't love him back.

and if you don't need the object of your love to love you back in order for you to love him, then how could you loose your love for him? you didn't love him for the reciprocation of the feeling but because you found in him something loveable. i think.

posted April 14, 2008 10:37 PM         

So, love as a verb means we choose each day to send our love to others, whether it is a family member or a significant other (or not to send it, and often our "choice" depends on many factors which is why it is important to work to make yourself as strong as possible physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually). Love as a feeling comes and goes, but the love as a verb can fill in when the feelings aren't as strong or are absent. We can technically "love" anybody... but it is hard enough to love those with whom we feel a connection... without a connection (Which is some aspect of their personality that calls to some aspect of your personality or simply a "soul" connection where you might feel as if they are part of your family because they are part of your "soul family") it is more difficult to love people(love as in the verb and by people... think Charles Manson, or random rude cashier).

We start the journey by facing the ugliness and darkness within ourselves. We learn about love and light and beauty and the Highest Power and we keep learning until we begin to see how far we are away from embracing this beauty ourselves. We learn that we should be kind to the rude cashier by experiencing how hard it is to be a cashier and learning that everyone has different difficulties that we don't always see. Then we make a choice to try our best to be kind to others. Then we realize how hard that is when you are under the stress of your own challenges and difficulties. We start to see all the places within ourselves that are weak and that are holding us back from being the Super Being we want to be as we achieve our dreams and try to love the people we want to love.
Then we fall into a deep depression and consider killing ourselves...... OH, I mean ... then we count on the love we sent out returning to us during our times of challenge, trouble, and crises of faith. And we grow stronger and continue our journey, our quest, to choose love and remember the perfect essence... and to love each other.

You start with yourself and the more you can handle that, the better you are able to handle truly loving a second person. Once you have that down, you expand outward by helping those closest to you further on their own journey to strength (Love). In the meantime you do your best to be kind to others and only take from them what does not take AWAY from them.

Example physical: If your girlfriend has a jacket you just love that she doesn't wear anymore and you ask to keep it, then you increase your energy without taking from her and might actually help her by removing unneeded clutter from her life.

Example emotional: When you enjoy the smiles of others, which takes nothing away from them or when love naturally bursts out of you toward a baby as the baby giggles and laughs with joy and love, you feel better (this is not the same as holding a baby when you are sad to make yourself feel better).

Example mental: Reading a good book that gives you ideas or revelations that increase your energy.

Example spiritual: Enjoying the thoughts or writing of a mentor/guru/spiritual master/teacher, or even a friend or acquaintance who is letting the Highest Power flow through their words at that moment. Or better yet, the moments when we are open enough to get the strength straight from the source.

At least... that's my take on it.

What was the question again..?

posted April 15, 2008 01:10 PM         

and i don't have any regrets with past loves, those experiences helped me evolve of who i really am and what i want to be at this present moment

posted April 16, 2008 03:46 PM         

imbd (internet movie database) says:
"A meditation on love and its various incarnations, set within a community of friends in Oregon. and is described as an exploration of the magical, mysterious and sometimes painful incarnations of love."
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0800027/

posted April 16, 2008 10:23 PM         

excerpt from a book written in 1928

""A woman came to me in deep distress. The man she loved had left her for other women, and said he never intended to marry her. She was torn with jealousy and resentment and said she hoped he would suffer as he had made her suffer: and added, "How could he leave me when l loved him so much?"

I replied "You are not loving that man, you are hating him, " and added "You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love. Perfect yourself on this man. Give him a perfect, unselfish love, demanding nothing in return, do not criticise or condemn, and bless him wherever he is."

She replied, "No, l won't bless him unless l know where he is!!"

"Well" l said "that is not real love"

"When you send out real love, real love will return to you, either from this man or his equivalent, for if this man is not the divine selection, you will not want him. As you are one with God, you are one with the love which belongs to you by divine right".

"When you are no longer disturbed by his cruelty, he will cease to be cruel, as you are attracting it through your own emotions."

posted April 17, 2008 08:46 PM         

It keeps me in check, that summary of love. Love is unselfish and non judgmental and yet we are all guilty of disappointment and neediness. The world would be a better place if we could hold onto TRUE LOVE for the greater good.