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Author
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Topic: Who Wants to Talk About Chemistry?
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future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 2714
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted April 13, 2008 10:05 AM
 
What are your thoughts on this?Are there different types? Is it necessary in a happy relationship? Is it something you either have or don't? Or have you ever "developed" chemistry with someone over time? Does chemistry go away once a relationship ends? Biology? Emotion? Intellect? What is the source of this phenomenon? Discuss! IP: Logged |
LibraChickety
Knowflake Posts: 302
From: usa
Registered: Jul 2007
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posted April 14, 2008 12:07 AM
I think chemistry pre-exists and always exists - for the most part. I think it's important for a 'good' relationship - absolutely.------------------
Sun in Libra
Asc. in Sagittarius
Moon in Virgo
Mercury in Libra
Venus in Scorpio
Mars in Leo
Jupiter in Libra
Saturn in Libra
Uranus in Scorpio
Pluto in Libra Stellium in the 10th
........
I feel so naked ;) IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 12247
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted April 14, 2008 01:27 PM
I do think there are different types. In fact, I think they can vary widely.Is chemistry necessary in a happy relationship? I would think so. I think the biggest things are that you get along, and you're able to communicate. It probably helps to have similar values as well. Is chemistry something you have or you don't? Yes and no in my opinion. Obviously you can get along with someone right away. By the same token you can not get along with someone right away. Then there's the gray areas. Perhaps you get along in some respect, but in other respects you don't. Like maybe you're generally cooperative with another person, but there's a disconnect where real communication is concerned. Or have you ever "developed" chemistry with someone over time? I don't know that I'd use the term "developed." I think you may be able to find chemistry with other people over time. You start out ambiguous, and the longer you know them, the less ambiguous things get, and after awhile you may develop some rapport where there was none previously. Does chemistry go away once a relationship ends? People change, so it's possible, but I wouldn't consider it an absolute. What is the source of this phenomenon? Astrology maybe? IP: Logged |
~jane_says~
Knowflake Posts: 161
From: SD
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted April 15, 2008 01:48 PM
Chemistry just exists or it doesn't in my book. Basically, I think it boils down to locating it within your relationship to other. I don't agree that you can create it or develop it. It has to exist, and it kind of reverts back to that basic animalistic instinct we all have...you know you want to mate with a particular person over another becaues of chemistry. I think it just lines up that way in the same sense that we often meet people that we think are red flags...and we meet up with those we don't like and we can't conceive of any reason why. It's just natures way of sorting us all out...SO back to Chemistry, I think at times it's so obvious and at others you just got to dig deeper to see it...some are just more guarded then others, but you'll find it..Anyway, that's just my take on this... IP: Logged |
~jane_says~
Knowflake Posts: 161
From: SD
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted April 15, 2008 01:51 PM
and yes like you said, chemistry has to exist on all levels...logically if it exists must it be confined? IP: Logged |
~jane_says~
Knowflake Posts: 161
From: SD
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted April 15, 2008 02:02 PM
one more post and I'm done PROMISE...I wouldn't necessarily say it's a phenomenon and i do think astrology is more of help with this...but it's more of a built-in radar we all have...and some are more keen on how their own chemistry comes into play, like that person that says "He's not my type" and others are just completely oblivious to it and hence we get the "he's just not that into" situation arising...so take what you will. peace.------------------
"If you believe, you can achieve." Tupac IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 2714
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted April 15, 2008 08:23 PM
jane says~you posted three times and I see you've only posted 160 times since 2005-- something here grabbed your attention-- curious: do you have more to share with us about chemistry? *just a hunch, maybe entirely off base* AG-- I didn't skip you... I'll get back to this. IP: Logged |
~jane_says~
Knowflake Posts: 161
From: SD
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted April 16, 2008 06:49 PM
Well...yes this post did grab my attention, because this is so very black and white to me in a sense. When you say is chemistry relevant to a happy relationship, I say no not really. I think it's conducive to one, but it doesn't necessary make for a happy one. I have had love affairs and there were instance where chemistry was on some sort of level...sometimes sexual, intellectual, communicative, hedonistic, etc...To me chemistry is very basic and I dont' think it goes away...I had an ex who called years later after a BAD break-up and we talked like it wasn't anything! Whether I thought it had gone, wanted to have gone, it didn't...I think along with these sort of situations, chemistry is just masked by love gone wrong and the emotional damage takes precedence. Be back later... IP: Logged |
cancerrg
Knowflake Posts: 2699
From:
Registered: Dec 2004
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posted April 17, 2008 02:12 AM
::: Who Wants to Talk About Chemistry? :::
i would rather prefer 'BIOLOGY' ! IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1233
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 17, 2008 04:04 AM
Or Anatomy!  Hardy har har har...meh.  Chemistry is necessary for me. It's that spark you have with the person, and everything flows between you effortlessly. You become more yourself with those people. Yeah, I think there are different types. Mental, sexual. Even emotional. Some people are really easy for you to feel good around. For me it's necessary. Maybe I'm just socially lazy, but I actually haven't even bothered to develop a relationship with anyone who I don't have chemistry with. And I'm talking friendships, too. I guess I'm a fatalist with chemistry...I think of it as the sign that this is someone who I'm supposed to know. I think you either have it or you don't. I can't think of a case where I've developed it with someone. It's been strengthened, but has never popped up out of nowhere for me. I've always felt it fairly early on in my interaction with a person or never. I think it can appear to develop in time, but what may actually be happening is you're finally meeting the part of the person you have chemistry with. It was a part of them all along, you just hadn't met it yet. I don't think chemistry goes away. People change all the time, but I think wherever that chemistry is coming from is something eternal. It's a soul thing, I think. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3617
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted April 17, 2008 05:12 PM
"I think it can appear to develop in time, but what may actually be happening is you're finally meeting the part of the person you have chemistry with. It was a part of them all along, you just hadn't met it yet."~jane Exactly, couldn't agree more. I'm so glad you brought that up.  I think that also applies to not so good aspects. That's why I am an advocate for "time". hehe Some people you are meant to meet, have instant chemistry with, learn for a while and then "meet" the not so good aspects between you which eventually push you apart. Why not take that as a given and get to know each other a little more slowly (not have sex right away is one example) so you can learn through love rather than through pain? I have had enough pain and experienced being fooled by initial STRONG chemistry enough to think it is worthwhile to take things slowly when giving your entire heart. And I think it works.
It's like the food philosophy. You can gulp things down immediately and quickly, but that just makes you miss the true experience of the essence and myriad aspects (flavor, texture, scent, visual appeal, distinct flavors of different ingredients and distinct flavors of different ingredients mixed together) of the food. And it makes you eat too much and get fat and unhealthy all the while never satisfying you and making you always hunger for more. If you choose small amounts of high quality food and enjoy all of the experiences (preparing the mixtures and enjoying the process, tasting smelling feeling as you go along, etc etc follow the analogy... then finally sit down to fully enjoy the finished product with all of your senses to the fullest... ) then you will be fully satisfied and healthy.
I'm sure that analogy applies to just about every aspect of life. And it seems as we become satisfied this way, things like McDonald's become less appealing. Speaking of food... do you know what's good? Oats and frozen fruit (berries are my favorite) with some hot water from the kettle poured over them. A little milk or Silk and some cinnamon sugar or honey to sweeten. My mother gave me the idea.
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AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 12247
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted April 17, 2008 06:26 PM
I put frozen blueberries in my cereal if I eat cereal for breakfast.IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3617
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted April 18, 2008 01:01 AM
ahhh... and do you fully EXPERIENCE your blueberries? IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1233
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 22, 2008 03:32 AM
Mmm blueberries.  MM - You know that as a fellow Venus in Cap, I am in complete agreement with you on the riches of patience. Slow, steady, and subtle...mmm blueberries.  But also as a Venus in Cap, I've had to learn not to be pessimistic in relationships. I would fast forward in my mind to how the relationship would likely end, and then not see the point in even starting it! I'm predisposed to valuing love that lasts. I had to then think about how in other areas of my life, experiences were short-lived but still meaningful and important, and tell myself that love relationships are the same way. But this is a tangent b/c you weren't even talking of a cautiousness that extreme. You must have your Merc on my Venus or something, you always get me thinking about my take on relationships. (Seriously, got anything near 13º Cap? ) IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 12247
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted April 22, 2008 12:49 PM
My Jupiter is at 16 degrees Cap. quote:
ahhh... and do you fully EXPERIENCE your blueberries?
Of course. I  food. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3617
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted April 22, 2008 01:16 PM
AG, I never know if my double entendres thunk right into your Earthy self and then fall plop on the floor or if you are just dead pan delivering back a double double entendre.
"I would fast forward in my mind to how the relationship would likely end, and then not see the point in even starting it! I'm predisposed to valuing love that lasts."
"But this is a tangent b/c you weren't even talking of a cautiousness that extreme." Oh Jane, surely we are female soul mates. hehe You Know those are my thoughts even if I don't express them. Yes, my AC and moon would be conjunct your Venus.
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AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 12247
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted April 22, 2008 04:22 PM
quote:
AG, I never know if my double entendres thunk right into your Earthy self and then fall plop on the floor or if you are just dead pan delivering back a double double entendre.
I'm afraid I'm a mere simpleton in this instance. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 3617
From:
Registered: Dec 2005
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posted April 22, 2008 06:41 PM
My humor falls flat often enough... I'm used to it. Comes with being a weirdo. IP: Logged |
jane
Knowflake Posts: 1233
From:
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted April 23, 2008 03:15 AM
AG - We have a Venus-Jupiter conjunction? We should party sometime. You can bring the blueberries, I'll bring the whip cream. MM - "Yes, my AC and moon would be conjunct your Venus."
Hello, gorgeous.
Those conjunctions would mean that your Moon is in my 3rd house, so that could be why you get me articulating lunar + venus issues.
I have noticed that Cap Moons have that effect on me.
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miss_muffet
Knowflake Posts: 842
From:
Registered: Mar 2004
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posted April 23, 2008 10:36 AM
Hello Future...Are there different types?
- Sure. Is it necessary in a happy relationship?
- It is for me. Is it something you either have or don't? Or have you ever "developed" chemistry with someone over time?
- It is either there or not there. It's not something that can develop over time. I think over time, you can learn to love someone, but the "spark" is either there or is not there. I can't see it developing over time. Does chemistry go away once a relationship ends?
- I have felt chemistry dissipate over time (past relationships). I have a very strong chemistry with the man I am with right now. It's been so many years and it is stil very strong. I am not sure if this one will go away over time - perhaps when I am 65? LOL Miss Muffet IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 12247
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted April 23, 2008 11:11 AM
quote:
AG - We have a Venus-Jupiter conjunction? We should party sometime. You can bring the blueberries, I'll bring the whip cream.
Excellent! IP: Logged |
astroscorp
Knowflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2008
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posted April 24, 2008 12:57 PM
Is it true that most women pursue relationships which had that spark at the beginning instead of perhaps dating someone who was nice, but the spark wasn't there?Is sparks = physical attraction? Or are we talking about able to relate to each other emotionally (its as if you have known that person for ages) = chemistry? So which would you go for? Sparks or mr nice guy? IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 788
From: South Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted April 24, 2008 01:07 PM
both. Is there a need to choose?IP: Logged |
astroscorp
Knowflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Mar 2008
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posted April 24, 2008 01:10 PM
Nah.. just curious.I was just wondering if one would ditch a potential r/s just cuz there're no sparks in the first place even though he/she is a very nice and sweet person. Well some say lovers started off as friends.. IP: Logged |
AcousticGod
Knowflake Posts: 12247
From: Pleasanton, CA, USA
Registered: May 2005
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posted April 24, 2008 01:20 PM
I'm of the opinion that it's probably better for lovers to start out as friends. I also think that if your relationships regularly aren't working out, then maybe it's time to develop a new strategy, which may mean considering dating those nice guys you wouldn't think to date. You might just find the stability you've been looking for.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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