posted April 23, 2008 03:11 PM         

I apologize in advance for the long explanation. It appears as if you have a lot of knowledge when it comes to dealing with Cancer men and Lord knows I need help! I am in love with a Cancer man who is reluctant to commit!

I have been dealing with my Cancer for almost a little over a year. It started off really slow. I allowed him to call the shoots and did not push too hard. I had my own life and really was not that concerned with him. As a result, I got some pretty good feedback from him. He chased me. He wanted to spend time with me, etc. He went to my grandmother¡¦s with me for Christmas and Easter. We spent News Years Eve together. We even went to NYC for my birthday. He buys little things here and there that he knows I need. He confides in me. He has told me that I am the glue that holds him together and that I am his angel.

Lately, he has been moody and irritable. I am somewhat used to this b/c we all know how Crabby Cancers can get. He is currently having some financial problems and is thinking about going back to school b/c he hates what he does for a living right now. He is 29 years and trying to transition. Because of his money problems, he is currently working a lot of over time and is often tired.

Here¡¦s the clincher, we are not in an official relationship yet. We have decided to be monogamous but I am not technically his ¡§girlfriend¡¨. A few months ago this started to kind of bother me. So, I brought it up. He told me that he was trying to get on the right path and get his life together and get his finances together before he gets in a relationship. He of course, reassured me of how much he loves me, etc. This to me is an excuse. In my mind, one has nothing to do with the other. So what if his life is not exactly how he would like it to be, that has nothing to do with being with me. If he wanted to be with me, I feel that he would be. Last Saturday was his best friend¡¦s wedding. The wedding was in Las Vegas, which is a five hour drive form where we live (Los Angeles) and a 30 minute flight away. He did not invite me. In order to not take it personally, I told my self that I did not want to go anyway b/c I did not have the money for Vegas and I had to go to my Aunt¡¦s birthday party that same day. I also figured that him and his friends (the rest of the groom¡¦s men) would be going to make it a ¡§guy¡¦s weekend¡¨. Well, he called me when he got home on Monday and it turns out that two of his friends brought dates and one did not. So, this was not a guy¡¦s weekend. He just did not want me to go! Even though he kept telling me how much he wished I was there and how he wished that he would have asked me to go, it really hurt my feelings. More so, it made me think. Where the heck is this going? Is he ever going to commit???

I know that he cares a lot about me. He tries his best to make me happy. But his reluctance to commit is really bothering me. But I am not ready to walk away yet. Stupid me! What should I do?

I sent him an email about some info that I found re: the school he wants to go to. I added this little part at the bottom of the email. Please tell me what you think? What should I do? I love him and do not want to walk away, but I am confused and do not know how to handle his reluctance when it comes to committing.

This is the email that I sent¡K.