Advice - relationship (cancer)

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Author	Topic: Advice - relationship (cancer)
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 08, 2008 10:57 PM thanks IP: Logged
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 654 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 09, 2008 03:27 AM Dear Meduza. I hope he is as carefully nurturing your feelings as you are his? Basically if you say anything "off"( which as a Sagg we know that will be highly unlikely) they will act as if a javelin has ben thrown at their heart and they will file it away in that overstuffed brain lobe which deals with "Things that people have said that hurt me 1980-present date" They love it when people cook for them. In your case sending pies through the post may pose a problem but when you can, nurture. They suffer from sadness. Do not allow them to wallow. Seriously....you will open a can of worms you will never get the lid back on. Strangely enough they respond better to a firm "That's enough now" followed by a swift change of subject....or a swift clout around the head.. Personally, as an Aquarian, I find them exasperating and I am surrounded by them but...let me state clearly...no one, I repeat no one will rise to your aid as magnificently as they do, and without expecting to thanked for ever more (like Leos!) It helps if you allow your bottom lip to wobble ever so slightly...they are on it like a rash! They have a innate kindness which is so endearing and which is worth putting up with that flippin' black cloud which you can actually see descending over them when they are hurt Don't let it land! The moment you see that little face puckering...action stations lady!!!! IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 09, 2008 11:22 AM Thanks, bunnies. He is def very considerate of my feelings and worth the effort.... Much of what you are saying makes sense... IP: Logged
winky_winky Knowflake Posts: 575 From: SPAIN Registered: Oct 2007	posted May 09, 2008 12:02 PM i once dated a cancer and even though they say libras are indecisive i found this bloke the most indecisive thing on earth, but also very caring and would give me small gifts, take me often for dinner, very agreeable on the whole but he fell in the category of those crabs who are more in love with their mum than their crush so i couldnt get him out of his hometown........ IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 09, 2008 11:33 PM By the way, I think he has venus in Leo (love that) and I have venus in capricorn (yuck), if that helps... IP: Logged
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 654 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 10, 2008 04:36 AM Crikey! My son is a Cancer with Venus in Leo. He is an absolute darling but like someone else said, usually in love with Mummy and oh yes....no one can match up to me. And trust me I have not encouraged this. They are also picky, fussy, easily put off, have high standards when that Venus is in Leo. A perfectionist. Second best is nowhere. Stay on your toes sweet girl!! But he is kind. Good Lord is he kind. And Good Lord is he easy to hurt. My Aquarian daughter and I just sigh because we can see the fluffy black cloud he has stuck on his head sometime. As a son he is adorable but from your perspective as a romantic partner.....I would have run screaming to the hills years ago!!!! IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 12, 2008 11:28 AM I kind of dig the leo element, because in mi mind that makes him stronger and mitigates some of the typical cancerian traits that drive me crazy. will see. this is purely speculative... his mommie - love hate relationship to be sure. dont think he idealizes her at all. IP: Logged
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 654 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 12, 2008 01:38 PM Trust me. Love hate whatever, his mother will have a big influence on him. As a matter of interest. How is his self esteem? A lot of Cancer men I know suffer low esteem. Well covered sometime but if you dig deep... IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 12, 2008 04:35 PM bunnies, we openly talk about his insecurities, he covers them well, but he has let me in. I dare say I probably know him in a way that no one does. he is also fearless in some ways. and i love that. of course, he does exhibit the typical for the cancerian "habitual living". ummm, mu little science project. certainly piques my saggi curiosity... and since we are in a weird sutations to begin with, that makes things all the more complicated. but yeah, the dysfunctional rel he has had with his mom has had a deep impact on him and his life for sure. IP: Logged
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 654 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 12, 2008 06:21 PM M do be careful about letting him use you as a sounding board for his insecurities. I think as regards Cancerians it is best to steer them gently away from their "issues". Not like some others who get their grievances off their chest and then feel better. like I said before about the can of worms. It''s bloody hard to get the lid back on. They can if not careful make a career out of it and you find yourself becoming an agony aunt, and before you know it they are on a roll....."My life....nobody understands the trouble I've seen.....cue violins....orchestra.....evangelical choir... But as family men? None better. Seriously. Changes them. My first husband (cancer) completely irresponsible and wild when I met him. One child later...Mr dependable...two kids later...Mr pipe and slippers... They LUUURVE that family thing and it's lovely to see. And then when they turn into that and they start whining you can just say "Oh for the love of God....SHUT UP....and ring your mother!!! IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 12, 2008 06:35 PM oh, i see. no, i am not a sound board at all. we both share a lot of things that no on else knows... we have this really deep bond. i know everyone says that... but he is very resilient. which i like. IP: Logged
MysticMelody Moderator Posts: 4781 From: Registered: Dec 2005	posted May 12, 2008 10:40 PM bunnies FUUUUUUUUUNNY. Funny Bunny I have moon in first so I'm a little Cancery. Or a little moonie. WhatEvaaaaar. My family has a lot of Cancers though so your input was very helpful. hehe IP: Logged
deuxantares Knowflake Posts: 1266 From: Meet Me in Sofia Registered: Nov 2006	posted May 13, 2008 02:10 AM bunnies IP: Logged
Diandra23 Knowflake Posts: 2329 From: portugal Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 13, 2008 03:09 PM Sorry by highjacking this,but it�s just a little question: Can their love for their mother be much more important than anything else? For example,being in a long-distance,do Cancer Men make a possibility on coming to the Hometown of the woman?Or their love for the family is Higher than the Love for the woman they love? IP: Logged
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 654 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 14, 2008 03:05 AM Diandra! Yes! It is truly a strange thing with the mothers. It's like the mother is here...centre stage, spotlight. And the rest of womankind waving sadly from the cheap seats! He may join you in your hometown but expect a huge phone bill and the Mother coming to stay...a lot. In fact. It might just save a lot of hassle if you moved there!! IP: Logged
Diandra23 Knowflake Posts: 2329 From: portugal Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 14, 2008 05:27 AM Me,like in Medusas�s case,am having some problems also. We are long distance,not to far though but the past few days it seems that suddently,one is pushing the other into their hometowns. The problem is that i want him to come,he wants me to go.And he neves puts the possibility of coming to here - that�s why i asked: if somehow that oculd be related to his Mother. For now we�ll stay like this - stagnated in each other�s point of view. Im hoping not to be one of those women waving from the cheap seats ...while he stays there thinking that if i didnt went,that�s cause i dont deserve him.. IP: Logged
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 654 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 14, 2008 10:49 AM They are homebirds. In any other case I would say he is being selfish but as he is a Cancerian? It matters a lot to them deep down, the old homestead, Mummy,Nana, Great Aunty Phyllis, the family dog... Ask him if he moved would there be things and people he missed? He'll have a list! IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 14, 2008 10:58 AM I am not having problems per se, but am trying to be proactive and nurture the relationship because i have been guilty of dropping the ball many times before in other relationships. I want it to be different this time. especially since i am dealing with a crab, and i am a sag. IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 14, 2008 11:20 AM So, any advice about addressing issues, conflict resolution or whatever you want to call it? I know they hate confrontation... IP: Logged
bunnies Knowflake Posts: 654 From: U.K Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 14, 2008 05:00 PM If they are upset and they go into the shell,just do nothing. They always pop their head out eventually and when they do just say "Hi sweetie! as if nothing had happened. Just be careful about criticism. A simple "oh you were a bit late telephoning tonight" to a Cancerian translates into "You ineffectual waste of space. You can't even be relied on to do anything right. You are a dead loss as a human being" Now as a Sagg how difficult can it be to remember that!! IP: Logged
Meduza Knowflake Posts: 159 From: Registered: Feb 2008	posted May 14, 2008 06:58 PM Thanks bunnies, mine encourages feedback, but I still want to be careful... I dont it to appear as if I am nagging or being demanding or hurtful... I guess it's a fine balance. IP: Logged
Diandra23 Knowflake Posts: 2329 From: portugal Registered: Mar 2007	posted May 15, 2008 05:39 AM Bunnies, he is a Cancer AC,but libra sun and AQUA mOON I thought cause of those other placements,that could make him less "homebird"as you say.. He has some difficult placements in the 4th house-makes me think he must have a family karma or sth: Saturn/Pluto/Jupiter Yup i ave to be very carefull about me criticizinh him for sth:and ima Virgo,not an easy task hihihi IP: Logged

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